Blue Eyeshadow and Aquanet

The Rockford Rage cordially invites you to the Roller Derby PromFriday, April 6 at 8 p.m. at Coyote Hot, 9032 N. 2nd St., Machesney Park 80's prom attire strongly encouraged* Look good, and we may put you on our website. Nominate someone for Derby King and Queen then come vote at the prom. Winners will be crowned at our April bout - it could be you! No cover, but each vote will cost you $1. Proceeds will benefit Becca's Closet**, where "Little Things Can Make a Big Difference."

If you would like to nominate someone to be Roller Derby King or Queen please submit their name and why you think you/they deserve it to Bombadee@verizon.net then come to Roller Derby Prom on April 6th at 8:00pm (the week before our next bout) and vote by putting a dollar into your nominee’s box. Prom King and Queen will be crowned at our next Bout April 14th 2007 at the ISC Doors open at 7:00 bout starts at 8:00pm

*Must be 21 to attend

**Becca's Closet was created as a legacy to Rebecca Kirtman and the project she started. Becca's Closet provides formal attire to high school students who otherwise would not be able to attend their prom/homecoming. Our mission is to continue her vision and dream of helping others. In Becca's memory, scholarships are awarded to deserving high school students to advance their education.

Totally Spoiled or Good Parenting?

Ella and I went over to the printer’s yesterday and dropped off an order. It was going to take an hour before we could pick it up again and so I said “Let’s go over to Big Lots accross the street and see if we can get a toy or something.” Ella of course thought that was a grand idea. We walked in and were poked in the face with Easter, we walked fast past the peeps and chocolate bunnies as Ella proclaimed “I’m gonna tell the Easter Bunny I want pink candy!” We wandered through gardening and zigzagged through left over St. Patrick’s Day sparkles finally landing in toys.

The first isle filled with plastic primary colors meant for outdoors beckoned. We strolled on by as Ella said “Nah, I already have a bucket, and I already have a base and ball and I already have a swimmy pool and a hula-hoop.” The next isle was what Ella calls boy’s toys mostly camouflage and squirt guns she wasn’t interested at all. The next isle was “for babies” so we barely even looked in the direction of the push cars and rattles.

Finally the pink isle, I was sure we’d find something pink or fuzzy or both to take home with us. Ella said “Nah, I already have babies and mermaids at my house… and I already have lots of ponies and the Easter bunny will bring me a dress up pony.” As I was rapidly approaching the end of aisle and we still hadn’t found a toy we didn’t already have some form of already, her diatribe continued “I already have a phone, and I already have a sparkly tutu, and I already have a book and a tea set and a pink chair.” Soon, we had walked the gauntlet of pink and not put a thing in the cart. Ella said to me “I already have a lot of toys Mom” and with that we left and got French fries while we waited for our print job.

Her Cursive will Suffer

Ella’s found something she loves almost as much as princesses - video games. She spends every evening after dinner playing Dora’s Puppy Adventure. It reminds me of the old Super Mario Brothers. Once in a while she gets stuck and yells “Moooooooommmmm! I need help please!” and I come help her get past the thing she’s trying to jump over. Video games at age 3... Is this good? She wakes up in the morning and says “I want to play Nick Jr.” Hand eye coordination is a good thing to learn and she can turn her computer on and off and click reload, restart and her desktop icons. She can load a game and can type her name and Dora taught her to count in Spanish. She even has some rudimentary reading skills happening, like she knows “P” is for “PLAY” but I think her handwriting is going to suffer. I suppose I need to get a crayon into her fingers more often than a mouse and that probably goes for me as well. Will this be my generations “Don’t sit too close, it’ll rot your brain” instead I’ll say “All that clicking and typing your handwriting is atrocious”?

You've come a long way baby...?

I’ve been struggling through a piece about feminism and roller derby but every time I reread it for the final edit I have more to add and revise. It’s hard to sort out my opinions in a cohesive manor and I feel it’s important to start with defining the topics. I thought I was done today and then I found a very profound error in my discussion. I’m ready to scrap the whole thing and am frustrated. It comes down to these questions and I think it’s something feminism is struggling with right now…

Is a playboy culture hurtful or helpful to feminism? Is it Playboy that has demystified women’s bodies allowing us to cast off bloomers and bustles and bras or is it feminism that has cast them off like shackles. Is this a detriment or benefit? I’m stuck here and it sound simple but it isn’t. I am all for women being able to go topless on the beach if they want to but I don’t think we shouldn’t be ogled for it, in my opinion breasts should hold the same fascination as elbows. This requires a shift in societal attitudes which is what feminism is partly about. There was a time when women covered their ankles from the public. So does Paris Hilton damage feminism? Why or why not? And how does that relate to the really hard hitting feminist issues; health care, sexual exploitation, fair wages and equal opportunity?

What a topic to tackle right? I need input people. Perhaps you are all backing away and thinking you could write for days on the subject and rather than give up your time you'd like to instead have a coffee on the porch and read the paper, but I think this is a discussion I need to have with some articulate people. So let's hear it folks.

I think Paris Hilton is a detriment but I can't articulate why, what do you think?

Cinderella in My Kitchen!

I’m not sure weather I should be give kudos for Disney finally creating a black princess character or if I should wag my finger for it taking so long or perhaps I should be horrified that the Empire of Princess built especially for my daughter’s young brain to painfully yearn for, is projected to expand it’s profits enough to finally put into motion that world domination thing they’ve been thinking about. You just wait there will be a Disney princess kitchen appliances soon… oh wait look what I found, sigh…

Bubbly

Ella and I are on our way to ballet and I am chewing gum like mad. The viewing area for the dance studio is actually tiny little bench in the hallway pushed up against the wall. The six parents who sit and watch our four ballerinas have to scrunch our legs in whenever anyone walks the throughway. Since we all sit very close and whisper to each other as the girls make their first attempts at skipping I become acutely aware of how onioney my breath is and I have taken to chewing super minty gum during Ella’s dancey class. Our hearts ebb and flow with every leap or attempted hop and we blush when our dancer decides to hang off the bar like a monkey and Miss Erin has to lean down and patiently correct her student. When our thirty minutes has again slipped by the girls run to the door with reward stickers already peeled carefully applied to the front of their leotards. Ella bounces towards me and pretends to be chewing gum too. On the way to the van she tells me “Mom! I have bubbly gum too and it makes my teeth go faster”

Monday Morning

Ah the smell of office work in the morning. I'm working on the art gala again this year and it'll be late April instead of the end of this month. Letters and lists this morning, the most unfun part of the whole bit. The most fun part? the actual event!

***

Ella is dying to get her feet into the sandbox and today it'll be warm enough to do so.

***

I did 30 pushups at practice last night and my pecs hurt, but it's a good hurt

Slow News Day

We had Cheetos and tapioca pudding for breakfast and now I’m surfing the net in my robe looking for something interesting to discuss, I'm not finding it obviously or I wouldn't be talking about the crappy breakfast we had. Soon we'll hop in the tub and get dressed and then we'll settle in a watch a movie during lunch. Something much healthier than breakfast perhaps spinach and bananas with tofu and Brussels sprouts - recipe anyone?

Stone Bridge

August 2006 -JMM

Get Well Violet

Violet Storm skates for the Screw City Slammers, she's their Co-Captain and she’s tough. If you were at the last bout and you saw me get sent into the crowd on my butt then there’s a good chance you saw what Violet can do. Her kid and my kid play together sometimes during practices, they’re very cute together huddled together behind the skate bags playing trains and dollies on the floor. I like Violet, she volunteers for fund raisers, she skates hard, she follows the rules and she's got heart. She's one of those people you wish you had five more of.

Last night at practice Violet was doing something called a suicide stop. It sounds dangerous and I guess I never imagined it actually was, because it's kind of tricky to do but also kind of easy once you get the hang of it. It’s when you are going real fast and then jump and turn around backwards and land on your stoppers bringing you from 20mph to 0 almost immediately. Well, Violet was doing a suicide stop and apparently nobody told her knee that she was stopping and it kept going and spun right around to the back of her leg.

I didn’t go to practice last night; I just heard the account and am sorta glad I wasn't there and at the same time sorta sad I wasn't. Shelby Toast said “She screamed like she was having a baby until the ambulance came.” There were five new girls present for their first practice and should they return after last night’s calamity, I will be impressed. I talked to Violet this morning she said the morphine they gave her last night in the ER was “like water” so she decided to scream until the Doctor came running and popped her knee back into place. That’s what I call being proactive! She’s wearing an immobilizer from hip to ankle until further notice and has appointments with an orthopedic surgeon. Knowing Violet she’ll still be at practices even though she won’t be able to skate. Get well woman or who will send my ass into the crowd?!




















Breetlejuice, Violet Storm & Sawyer Payne Feb. 2007 - pic by Lolly Gag
You can send Violet a note on her Myspace page here

Spring

The sun came out this morning and melted the rest of the snow. After lunch we put our tennis shoes on and walked to the park, by the time we arrived we had peeled off our sweaters. The mud under the swing set was already sun baked so there was no cold slushy dirt to jump over before you could get the wind in your hair, just good dry terra firma and swings. The tulips haven’t been told it is spring but they’ll figure it out tomorrow or the next day, they’ll catch up to the grass soon. The birds are chirping, I can hear them because our house is quiet after four months of furnace noise.

Eccentricities

The eccentric artist that lives in our house is busy creating with such a wide range. I am entertained so much I took photos for you all.

Theatre: "Mary Had a Little Lamb"



















Comedy: "Cheeky Monkey Eating Soup"






















Graphic Arts: "#00 Bombadee"














Watercolors: "Dancey Class"


















Sculptural Installation: "Mashed Potato Road on the Edge of the Table"

Malice in Derbyland

I spent the first hour at the Sport’s Center helping sort out last minute dilemmas. "Yes, B is here but she’s sewing C’s uniform, I’ll go get her, no I don’t know why the DJ isn’t here – oh what do you mean he quit?!... Yes, S’s son is going to fill in he’s getting equipment right now… We only printed out two of them, we’ll have to give our copy to the score keeper, no,… Yes, I know the program is wrong… No, I don’t know who’s name he’s calling off second…” and this went on until the message therapy lady made me sit in her chair while she pounded on my back and I realized we were going to be on the track in less than 20 minutes and I needed to focus. Everything else would have to fall into place without me.

I’m not the best authority on the subject only because when you’re all up in the middle of something, sometimes it’s hard to remember in what order everything happened in but as best as I can recollect, we scored pretty even with the Maulers during the first period keeping a two to five point lead. I also scored myself three penalties for throwing elbows – one more and I’d have to sit in the penalty box. Right after I shoulder check someone, I tend to push off the other women with my elbow, it’s a bad habit my coach is trying to break me of.

The second period we took off, and had a twenty point lead. I’d like to say that I scored some of those points with my awesome wheels but when I jammed I got didn’t get lead jammer because I got knocked out of bounds in the first pass, I didn’t know if the other jammer got it because I was long gone by the time she made it through. I entered the pack on the third turn trying to score points and before I was clean through again their pivot sent me flying into my own team sitting on the bench. By the time my head realized I was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling catching my breath and the jam was still going my body was already getting back up and running on my stoppers back onto the track. I remember wondering if this was the same jam or if I was running onto the track in the next jam and no one was telling me. I’m not sure why or what happened next but whistles blew and I went to sit on the bench and catch my breath. I can hardly wait to see it on the replay. I think I may have scored three points, I’m not sure.

Over the course of the second period we kept a good lead, but during the second break we came to the sobering realization how many penalties we all had. The reality was this; Sandra D. Molisher was out of the game because she’d gotten a skate to the ribs. She is one of our best pivots and all round players, she can jam or block or coach or anything. The EMT’s wouldn’t let her back on the track until she was x-rayed and so she sat next to the bench cheering with tears streaming down her cheeks. Our fearless captain, Wilma Fistdoo had been in the penalty box too many times and was doomed to be thrown from the third period, the same as blockers Brute A. Licious and Sawyer Payne. Our coach was frantically trying to replace them in the line up as much as possible in preparation for third period without making people skate two and three jams in a row.

As expected we lost three women in the last period to penalties and we served gobs of time in the penalty box. I gave up throwing shoulder blocks completely because I couldn’t chance accidentally throwing an elbow and getting ejected from the bout so I threw my hips around and stuck my butt out in front of the opposing jammer. I didn’t get ejected from the bout, but I did get ejected from the track by the opposing pivot sending me skidding feet first into the crowd again. The Chi-Town Sirens caught me, they were cheering from the most dangerous corner of the floor to sit on. Beer spilt everywhere and the crowd booed for the spilled beer and then cheered when I stood up to skate back in. My skate was slippery with beer and I had a hard time catching up again, but we skated hard and furious with what was left of our penalty decimated team. Apparently even though our bios say we save lives and sign for the deaf and read stories to little kids, we are dirty skaters.

In the end it really came down to the last two minutes with the crowd all on their feet screaming and the skaters desperate and straining every muscle. I watched from the penalty box, while serving time for another skater. We lost by one point and the crowd went wild. Right afterwards we went to the side of the track to meet and greet, our little fans, a group of eight year old boys dressed in orange, came up to console us.

“You guys were robbed! – you should’ve won!” said the first freckled face, the rest of the boys nodded in agreement.

“Well, Sandy broke a rib so we had to skate short.” I respond pointing toward Sandy

“REALLY?!” their mouths agape their eyes big as roller skate wheels.

“Hey Sandy! Come say hi to our biggest fans!”

As Sandy walked over holding her ribs with a giant smile on her face I found markers and we signed their orange and black megaphones. They asked her all about her ribs and the other skaters crowded up and signed autographs too. It was a good game and W.A.V.E. will bet a big ol’ check from the Rockford Rage next week so we can feel good even when we loose.

Oh, and the new wheels are awesome!




















March Maddness 2007















Feb Bout - Bombadee, Southern Helle, Bubbles the Brawler & Aim Low.
Photos by Tom Holoubek

Count Down to the First Whistle

Tonight at 8:00 we skate against the Midwest Maulers. The proceeds to benefit W.A.V.E. (Working Against Violent Environments) and the after party at Sport's Page. I can hardly wait! I'm gonna take it easy today, shopping for some last minute things for tonight (tape for my toe, extra laces all that). The crowd should be raucous and dressed heavily in orange. My mom-in law is even coming. I just have to remember to skate safe tonight the rest is all good.




















Acid Rain Co-Captain & Wilma Fistdoo Captain of the Demolition Dolls

Stranded kids -sigh-

Just go read Bitch PHD today.

Priceless

“Hey Ella do you know what a spankin’ is?”

“Yeah, spankin's are fun! You put money right in there and pull the handle down and it says ‘cha-ching’”












Uncle Sam's Register Bank from Forrest Park, IL

Once Upon a Time

Ella has been all about acting out children's stories as of late. Today we have spent most of the day playing what she calls "The Three Milly Goats Gruff" We've been trip-tropping across the bridge of one very crabby, very hungry and tired troll promising a juicier, yummier big brother to follow. A bigger brother the crabby troll would love to eat way more than the milly-goat standing on the bridge talking to the crabby troll. This is the first story Ella has heard that involves explicit and graphic mortal danger for the characters and she relishes it. She practically rolls in it, she yells out "I'm gonna eat you up!" with a special sort of wildness that Jo over at Tangled Me calls "bad fun".


Just so you know, I do leave this bit from the original out when I tell it
"Well, come along!
I've got two spears,
And I'll poke your eyeballs out at your ears;
I've got besides two curling-stones,
And I'll crush you to bits, body and bones."

Small Victories

I took Ella shopping last week for new underwear and a toy because she is using the potty now. She picked out a pink princess puzzle and Spiderman underwear.

One Nation Under Dog

I got misty eyed watching this. I can hardly wait.

Yay for Lazy Parenting

A good friend of ours has triplets and when they turned three I commented to her “I bet you’ll be happy when they’re potty trained” and she told me what a nightmare potty training was. “When you have triplets any one of them may have to go at any moment which means you need to know where every bathroom in the whole city is so you are never more than three seconds from an accident.” Honestly this scared me. I am creeped out by public restrooms to begin with and it never occurred to me that I would need to take my child into one much less the two or three times in a single shopping trip. Another good friend is training her daughter by making her sit on the potty once and hour. It sounds good but I’m too lazy to remember and it seemed wrong to set an alarm, it could have a terrible Pavlovian effect causing her to have an overwhelming urge at the sound of an alarm. With all this in mind, I was trying to find a week or two in my own head where Ella and I would be home all day every day. I could put her in underwear and not worry about cooties on the public seat or accidents at the grocery. We could make a mad dash to the toilet the moment she uttered “I have to go”. I was waiting for the perfect storm, or I was just putting it off really. Ella decided differently, she tired of waiting for me and yesterday she asked for underwear. I put her in them and that was it, no more diapers. Procrastination 1 - Planning 0.

Slurping was Easy

Blurb supports the new blogger. This means I have written a book and it’s a very large one called Bombadee's Garden. I am in the process of editing right now and hope to get it under 440 pages. Right now I’m over 600 and am combining multiple blog entries into the same page. Booksmart (the Blurb software) is really easy to downoad and use but it starts a new page with each blog entry when you “Slurp” it off the net. So really my editing isn’t cutting anything out its just compressing it. But I am excited; I have a fear of loosing Ella’s whole baby-book into the ether. I started a traditional one but couldn’t put links and movies into it and so the blog flourished instead and the little scrabbook I started languishes in my nightstand. Today I can exhale knowing the blog is safe and about to be published and when I receive the book it can go in the same spot as the Grandma’s Cookbook and the family photo albums. The proverbial pile we grab if the house burns down, right after saving the dog and right before the jewelry.

When Time Slows Down

Last night at practice I decided it was finally time to step up and be the Jammer. The Jammer has the pressure of the crowd on them; she wears the star on her helmet and makes the points. It is her job to get through the pack before the other Jammer to establish herself as lead and then she must lap the pack and score points by passing the opposing skaters. What people don’t always realize is if your blockers stink it doesn’t matter how fast or slinky your Jammer is she can’t fight a whole pack on her own. On the other end if your blockers are great than anyone on your team can jam as long as she has the endurance. Most teams, like ours, fall somewhere in-between.

I lined up on the second line and waited for the second whistle. It’s this few seconds waiting for the whistle that I always feel like I have to pee. The fact is I always just went. It’s my fear that I fall in a giant hog pile of women and then I accidentally pee on someone, so I always go just in between suiting up and hitting the rink and then again sometimes in between jams, sometimes so often I joke that my number should’ve been PP, but I'm well hydrated so what can I say.

After two excruciating, leg crossing, pee filled seconds of waiting for the whistle, he finally blows those two short bursts all Jammers live for. I take off running on my stoppers, the pee sensation long gone right along with the opposing Jammer. When I reach the pack I slide past the opposing and surprised black blocker and to my delight the rest of the opposing blockers are entangled with my team, I skim past the middle blockers on the inside of the track and get knocked out of bounds by their last line of defense their Pivot. I am free and clear of the pack now and my legs are working hard to get me around the track but I am not “Lead Jammer” because I was out of bounds briefly thanks to their Pivot. My new wheels carry me around the track with the utmost efficiency.

By the end of the jam we’ve skated the full two minutes, I sprinted the whole time and my lungs are on fire, sweat is pouring off me and I plop down on the folding chair at the side of the track and wait two minutes for my turn again. I have no idea how many points I actually made, I know I lapped the pack three times but I'm not sure how many fowls I incurred not keeping my elbows to myself or going out of bounds. Tonight the track is just a series of cones instead of actual rope lights, so it's hard to tell.

Next jam I’ll block while my team mate Acid Rain jams and then we’ll rest again, you just can't jam back to back two in a row even with the brake in the middle, it's too much. It's two minutes of sheer energy pouring out of your legs while the rest of your body dodges and wiggles out of the way and your brain is screaming "Watch OUT!" To say it's exhausting hardly seems to cover it. Two minutes on and two minutes off, that’s how it goes with twenty seconds to shuffle around in-between jams. On the track two minutes stretches out into eons and when I watch the bout back on DVD I can barely make out split second hits that seemed to take place in slow motion when they happened.

Take Two

Sunday night I walk up to the big building in the back of the community center lugging my giant orange skate bag on my shoulder. I set it down and proceed to help take down 64 long folding tables and stack the 256 chairs in the big hall. Soon we are staring at roughly 3,000 square feet of bare cement littered with gum wrappers, pull tabs and ashes from BINGO. Two women grab big brooms while the rest of us stretch and suit up for exercises. As I throw my sweatshirt into my bag I catch a glimpse of my new wheels, I can’t wait to see how they feel on the glassy cement. We do crunches and squats and something called the kayak and I am so antsy I can’t contain my inner third grader, I start whining “When are we gonna get our skates on?” “I wanna suit up. Let’s go!” and soon enough Sandra D. Molisher looks at me and says “Good job ladies, let’s get our skates on.” I almost squeal with glee and a few on my teammates nod and smile at my Christmas morning attitude.

I described these wheels as the mountain bike I traded my twelve-speed for and on a wood floor that was true but on cement tonight it’s like a ten-speed mountain bike. I am stuck to the floor firmly and adjust my skating to include long strides and all my strength. I no longer have to rein my speed to keep from skidding into the tables folded and stacked at the far end of the room. My legs unfold and I am zooming past my team mates and approaching Punchy Love fast. I try to swerve around her with a flick of my ankle and the new wheels don’t respond. I grab Punchy’s hips from behind to avoid bonking my forehead on her butt. I hear her in front of me say “What the f*ck?” and respond with “It’s me… I love them…. Huff puff they’re sooo grippy!” She says “good” and skates to the side of me. I can’t help but show off now and Punchy is paying attention so I have the perfect opportunity I say “Watch this!” and I sprint taking the corners as tight as I can, I am really flying now and one of the referees gets in front of me, I turn my ankle a little harder this time and lean, again have to reach out in front of me to grab his hips before slamming into him. Five or six more times around the imaginary track and I finally get my swerves and turns figured out.

By the end of practice my legs are sore again, like when I first came out of my fifteen year skating hiatus. It’s a good sore, the kind that tells me I really worked hard. The skin on my feet will make adjustments in my calluses over the next few weeks and by bout time my new wheels will be an extension of me. They are going to keep me safe and help me stay upright. As the grease in my bearings loosen and burn up as I put more hours on them they will get faster and faster. My husband told me when he used to skateboard the first thing he would do after buying new bearings was take them apart and soak them in rubbing alcohol to get all the grease off, when reassembled they are fast as lightning. I don’t have the nerve to mess with my bearings like that – I’ve always been a recommended dosage kinda woman. I really only take two when the bottle says take two and I think I’ll just put the time in on these bearings instead.

Time to Prune

The famed shrill stabbing thrusts at violin strings played in their topmost register induce fear and conjure up images of Marion bleeding in the shower at the Bates motel. When asked what thought was uppermost in his mind when creating this unique and hair-raising cue. The composer Bernard Herrmann replied in one word: "terror." It’s an unmistakable composition to any movie fan, it is also the precise sound produced by the dry twisted branches scraping on the cold window of the library below our bedroom. As the wind picks up the branches rake back and forth mimicking the rhythmic horror of Hitchcock’s score just audible enough to wake you from a good sleep.

New Wheels

Oh the encouragement of a very wise friend I have remembered - It’s my blog and I can talk about whatever I like here and if you don’t like it you won’t read. Neener neener neener.

So our next Roller Derby Bout is Friday March 9th and everything is a whirlwind of running drills finding enough skaters to fill in for the injured and getting promotional material finished and in hand, which happened today and no I can start on April’s stuff. I only have ten days before the next board meeting and I want to have April’s promo material finished (or darn near finished) so I can get a nod from the board collectively. You see, all these women have day jobs and this last week has been spent chasing down a majority of votes individually via e-mail, myspace, fax machine and in person for EVERY piece of print material I needed an approval on. Screw That! I’m going to be ready BEFORE the board meeting next time even if it kills me and it may. The photo shoot for April is done so artwork is the only thing left in my way. I’d tell you how cool it’s gonna look but its top secret.

I bought new wheels for my skates. I bought blue Witch Doctors after reading several reviews and reading that’s what Melicious uses. My old wheels are Zingers, they’re very hard and very fast but super slidey and fifteen years old. I jammed once in the last bout (two weeks ago) and no matter how fast I went it didn’t matter because I couldn’t stay in bounds, the centripetal force was the devil – so I bought something that was supposed to be grippier without sacrificing any speed. I put them on my feet for the first time on Tuesday night and not only are they grippey and slow but they seem to be twice the size of my old wheels. I went from 58mm to 62 and I was tripping all over myself. I skated again in them last night and they feel a little faster yet. I’m determined to get at least 8 hours into them before I make a decision on them. It was like going from a twelve speed racing bike to a mountain bike, clunky and tough but much safer when flying down a mountain with your life cradled in a helmet.

I went out to a new bar with the girls last night to scope it out for one beer. We are always looking for a better place to have an after bout party you see the perfect place doesn’t exist. We pull in 1200 people to the actual event and I think about 1/3 of those follow us to the after party plus staff and roller girls and their significant others, we need a giant bar that is clean and well staffed and empty enough for a crowd like that on a Friday or Saturday night to come rushing in through the doors and want beers right now. Oh and they also have to LIKE us. Not everyone is capable of treating Roller Girls with respect and we take that very seriously. We are athletes and while it’s ok to find an athlete attractive it’s not ok to imply that she would dance on the bar for you and some roller girls might not be offended by the implication but some might slap you in the side of the head for it. We are diverse and individual just like any team, too bad some people don’t ever see past the uniform. Any minute I’m going to start singing “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roll”.

Mid-Blog Crisis

What to write? I don’t want to dwell any further on the sickness we had here (gross no one really wants to read about the adventures of poo). I could talk for days about Roller Derby but I think most of my friends are truly sick of hearing it because that’s really all I talk about anymore (I’m so in love with it). I could expound about politics and the Iraq war but I think you all know how I feel. I could whisper about Britney Spears and her shaved head going into rehab but it seems shallow – if that was your cup of tea you’d be reading D-listed. So I’m not sure I have anything interesting to say today, so I’m just gonna go play Legos.

Mt. Ella

Dan and I slept with an active volcano last night and about 1:30am it spewed. The whole family awoke to puke and puke and more puke, I am only thankful that it wasn’t me doing the barfing. Ella was miserable. She and I got in the tub while Dan cleaned and moved us all to the the futon. When we all made it back to bed Dan snored, Ella snored and I listened. I listened for that little rumble in her tummy that would give us some kind of warning before erupting again so I could warn the villagers and move the valuables.

Ick

Last Wednesday I started that new fad diet everyone is on, it’s called the flu. I’ve been on it for four days now and though I don’t feel fantastic I think I am loosing lots of weight. Ella jumped aboard last night and barfed all night. She and I slept on the futon close to the bathroom and this morning she’s decided she didn’t like the flu and went back to eating like a growing three year old. I think her legs sprouted between breakfast and lunch and she promptly outgrew her pants. I am sticking to it though perhaps one more day before I call the doctor and inform her that her whole eating healthy and exercising plan sucks compared to having dysentery or salmonella.

Books

Last night we ended up wandering around the book store in a stupor looking for a children’s book that was under $7.00 and didn’t involve princesses or getting married or animals – good luck on that one ehe? Why can’t I ever find “A Sock is a Pocket for Your Toes” or “The Seven Silly Eaters”. I just see row after row of Olivia and Barbie Fairytopia and Cluck Cluck Moo Oink and those books are just fine, we own some of them and read them but now what’s left to find on the shelf to buy? Come on book store – have a little creativity!

I did buy “Roller Girl Totally True Tales from the Track” by Melissa Joulwan aka “Melicious” of the Texas Rollergirls. So far I like it – one problem though I read it right before bed and then I was too excited to sleep. Her description of being on the track is so right on that it makes me want to skate in the worst way. No more “Rollergirl” before bed.

For Sale Cheap

Valentines Day has been one of my favorites since I was a kid when Mom would bring home a tiny box of chocolates for each of us kids and we would get a valentine in the mail from our Grandparents. I’ve never been one that needed $60.00 a dozen roses or smooshy fuzzy bears proclaiming “I wuv you.” In fact I’ve told Dan should he ever do either of these he’d have to sleep on the couch, but he does do a little something on Valentines and it usually includes chocolate and books and he never forgets.

You see, I bought Valentines Day from him 10 years ago. When we first met he gave me this story about telling me he loved me every day and not needing a special day for it and I bought that hook line and sinker for a couple years but soon the girls I worked with were getting flowers and trinkets and I began to fret about missing the holiday. Dan’s reply “You don’t even know who St. Valentine is and we aren’t even Catholic” This was an excellent point and I let it go another year until I could stand no more and went to the library to do an impromptu report on St. Valentine. It was quiet an ordeal to find information before the internet of today.

February rolled around again I prepared to enlighten Dan on the subject, he prepared for a trip to Las Vegas with his friends. I encouraged him to go for the weekend and each guy had a set amount of money to gamble with; $2,000.00 no more, no less. Dan was short of his steak by half and worried about it but I had a Christmas bonus that year that I hadn’t spent yet and didn’t have any plan to spend. I traded him the rest of his steak in exchange for Valentines Day for the rest of our lives. That is how I bought St. Valentines Day for $1,000.00. I think I got the better end of the bargain, but so does he.

Maybe that story isn’t very romantic or implies that his gifts aren’t genuine but honestly he does a pretty good job of it every day just like in the beginning of the story.

She goes all the way to 11

Ella and I were in a meeting when I realized we were cutting it close to ballet class, she was playing puzzles on the floor while I wrapped things up and we headed four blocks home in our cold van with Ella’s gloves on the wrong hands for speeds sake and Ella yelling she was hungry for “something”. We literally ran into the house, let the dog out while I answered the phone and I shoved a cupcake into Ella’s gaping mouth and changed her into ballet clothes before letting the dog back in and leaving for class. What did we do with our free five minutes while we drove to the studio? We talked about how to use your ears more than your mouth when the teacher is talking. Oh yeah, imagine that, Ella likes to talk lot, who could’ve guessed? We also discussed the volume at which you should try to keep happy giggling during dancy class. I know it seems a bit manipulative to try and tell a little kid “you are too full of joy could you just take it down a notch” but that is what I had to explain to my dearest innocent child. Yes Ella, that crazy maniacal laughing and jumping up and down you do while anticipating your turn is a distraction to the class and the teacher really needs your help keeping it down and besides I think you’re freaking her out a little bit. I know you love ballet but ballerinas use their feet to tell people their happy by dancing their best. Whatever part of my five minute lecture made sense to her seemed to work and she was only mildly distracting this evening, no more than any of the other wiggling squealy three year olds in her class. May God grant you all the patience of a toddler’s ballet teacher.

Hot Coco

What a beautiful Sunday. The temp came up from the subzero and so our furnace is able to keep up again. The Sunday funnies are particularly funny and we have hot coco in the house. I suppose that doesn’t seem like an overly long list of good things – it’s really just three but somehow the whole day feels nice and cozy and good, it just has a good aura. I hope your Sunday is just as contented.

Diamonds and Chocolate

PLEASE TAKE A STAND FOR LOVE & JUSTICE ON VALENTINES DAY

FACT: One-third of Nestle's chocolate is from West Africa, where over 286,000 children are working in slave-like conditions on cocoa (chocolate) farms.

FACT: Dole is the largest distributor of cut-flowers in the world, the majority of which are imported from Columbia and Ecuador, where farmers and flower workers (often adolescent girls) are exposed to 127 different chemicals, including neurotoxins and carcinogens.

FACT: The three private owners of M&M/Mars Inc. are each "worth" $10.4 billion, while the West African farmers growing the cocoa for M&Ms chocolate are paid an average of $108 annually.

FACT: Despite record profits in 2006, Hershey's has been accused of buying from contractors who utilize child labor and child slavery on cocoa farms on the Ivory Coast.

TAKE ACTION: Send a message to the chocolate and flower giants to stop child labor, illegal toxic chemical use, union busting, and to pay their farmers a living wage.

from www.organicconsumers.org/valentines/alert.htm

Please buy local for Valentines Day
www.etsy.com
www.chocolatbydaniel.com
www.thecountryclubgifts.com

She's been watching PeeWee's Playhouse

"I'm the boss and you can be the nice office taker and I will be mean to you."

"Dude, you crack me out!"

"The Lion King always makes me funny."

"I'm the most beautiful woman in puppet-land."

"Can I have some apple? I want it on the cob."

555

I’m still alive and keeping warm. It is 8 below today and our furnace is pretty much running every 10 minutes to keep up. We have space heaters everywhere and I am doing gobs of work with my computer, which always makes my hands cold. I’m not sure why, but I’m still waiting for someone to invent that heated mouse – or even a heated mouse pad. It couldn’t be that hard.

Today this is my 555th post.

Extra Extra

Good morning my dearest bloggies. Today is a good day. Dan is coming home from a four day business trip to Indianapolis and we have nothing on the agenda today except grocery shopping. I've had an insane busy week. The next roller derby bout is Saturday Feb 10th and I've been helping with the ads and we are also running a contest via the website. We are recruiting for our fourth team and asked the public to help us name it. We've past the point of submissions and are on to voting. So dear bloggies go to www.rockfordrage.com and click on the “Name those Dames” button and vote for your favorite. I personally like the Monkey Wenches being that Rockford is the home of the sock monkey, but I voted for the Sinnissippi Sin-dicate because the theme seemed easier to adhere to than monkeys.

In other derby news the first bout has changed. It was the Screw City Slammers vs. the Midwest Maulers and my team the Demolition Dolls, were to volunteer as support staff. I was learning to ref but the Maulers suffered an inordinate amount of injuries and were forced to forfeit. The Slammers take the win but we can’t just cancel the bout so the Dolls are going to skate against the Slammers in an exhibition bout on the 10th. We’ve spent the last week re-working print materials and running drills. I’ve lived ate and breathed roller derby for about two weeks now. The good news is a HCTM message therapy school has decided to sponsor us and give the girls messages before the bout and they will be on hand during and after the bout in case of injury. Next week I am scheduled for ½ an hour – I already love these people.

February Evening

The full moon is shining down on a fresh coat of snow. I’m sure Eskimos have a specific word for this type of snow but I just call it sparkly. It’s a flakey dusting that makes the sidewalk especially slippery and every surface it holds on to shiny like someone took the sky and tossed it to the earth shattering it into a million shards, cold reflections of the moon in all its round glory scattered across the landscape.

I can't stop looking

I’ve been tagged by Jo over at Tangled Me

Here are five blogs I frequent and hopefully you will begin to do so also.

1. Tangled Me because Jo is one of those people one aspires to be, her strength and resolve inspires me on a daily basis.

2. Tater Tots Thoughts because she’s funny and although she’s on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to the “Mommy Wars”, we agree on all kinds of stuff starting with treating our children like actual people.

3. Daily Dose of Imagery because I can’t stop looking

4. D-Listed also because I can’t stop looking

5. The Calm Before the Sand because Milo is an incredible writer fighting our war in Iraq and as long as I see him posting I know he’s ok.

The rules say the above mentioned blogs are now tagged and need to respond in kind however Jo has already done this exercise and D-listed doesn’t even know I’m alive, Daily Dose of Imagery is a photo blog and I wouldn’t dream of asking Milo to do a meme. That leaves Tater Tot. So, dear tater Tot, you are all officially tagged according to doolittle's rules. Leave comments on five blogs you read and please list them on your blog, for the rest of us to read. Share the love peeps!

Quote

Bush says he didn't intend to insult Democrats
Tue Jan 30, 9:24 AM ET - WASHINGTON, Jan 29

President George W. Bush said on Monday he did not intend to insult Democrats by failing to pronounce their party's full name in his State of the Union address. "I didn't know I did it," Bush told NPR in an interview...

...Bush called it an oversight and said he was "not that good at pronouncing words anyway."

***
(heavy sigh)

A New Beginning

Well, hello new blogger. It finally let me switch over. Looks the same as old blogger so far accept for "labels" and that will be fun. I can categorize everything. I imagine I'll need one called simply "stuff" and a "family" or "toddler runway" maybe a "bad jeans" and perhaps "politics" but today I'd like to start something new called "Grandma DeCori's Recipes".

I recently received a recipe book from my mother that is filled recipes from my Grandma DeCori. My aunt Marilyn and uncle Tony gave it to her at Christmas on disk - all scans of the little worn cards in her handwritting. Today I'll share the most important recipe in the whole book - the one you can feed masses with, the one me and my cousins looked forward to on every important holiday. "Home Made Spagetti". The one that warms my heart just looking at it and the one you should remember should you ever be able to afford only eggs and flour.













Now what do you do with this gooey concoction? Simple - roll and cut and roll and cut and roll and cut. Sounds easy huh?

Well Nee Nee Like It

While were on the subject of mornings, just this very morning I was woken up with a seranade. Ella sang to me:

"Well, nee nee like it,
Rock the casbah,
Rock the casbah,"
repeat 82 times

January Morning

As I opened my eyes sun beams poke through the curtains with such force dust particles dance in the air with every move. I squeeze the blankets up tight to my shoulders and rub my eyes. Tiny fuzzy bits outlined in golden sunshine are wafting from the ceiling all around the bed. With every move they dance back up on air currents swirling, dipping, drifting on the remnants of my dream, slow motion snow flakes. Feathers. Down Feathers. A hole ripped in the comforter in the middle of the night.

What???

I don't get it...

"First, I propose a standard tax deduction for health insurance that will be like the standard tax deduction for dependents. Families with health insurance will pay no income on payroll tax -- or payroll taxes on $15,000 of their income. Single Americans with health insurance will pay no income or payroll taxes on $7,500 of their income. With this reform, more than 100 million men, women, and children who are now covered by employer-provided insurance will benefit from lower tax bills. At the same time, this reform will level the playing field for those who do not get health insurance through their job. For Americans who now purchase health insurance on their own, this proposal would mean a substantial tax savings -- $4,500 for a family of four making $60,000 a year. And for the millions of other Americans who have no health insurance at all, this deduction would help put a basic private health insurance plan within their reach. Changing the tax code is a vital and necessary step to making health care affordable for more Americans." -GW Bush State of the Union 2007

Wait they’re supposed buy the insurance they can’t afford to get a tax credit NEXT April. With what?... the money they find in the couch?! How does that level the playing field. It's like offering a belt to a person with no pants.

Dear Bush - Sincerely

Dear Bush,

I want to believe that you know what you’re doing. I want to keep our soldiers safe by either bringing them home or sending in reinforcements. I want to help the Iraqis we promised to help 16 years ago achieve a free and safe Iraq. However, I have suspicion you will escalate the war to include Iran if given the resources and I don’t trust you. Last night you said “…we have a shared obligation to ensure that the federal courts have enough judges to hear those cases and deliver timely rulings.” Yet we still hold prisoners without charges. I can’t watch you say these things and suspend disbelief long enough to put my brothers’ lives in your hands.

Sincerely,
Me

PS Stop using phrases like “death squads” and “the homeland” it sounds like your talking about Nazi Germany and you’re creeping me out.

Beach Scene

Beach Scene - Pen and Ink 2005 JMM

Amerca 2007

I have skating practice so I will record it tomorrow tonight in the hopes that my president has suddenly realized that he totally agrees with me. Instead, I will hear him say:

“Saddam Hussein has been captured and brought to justice. Amerca will show steadfast resolve by making a stand with our brave men and women to honor our commitment. Make no mistake, those that would do harm to us, resources to fight insurgents, terrorism, 9-11, terror at home, 9-11, insurgents, zombies, Saddam Hussein, brave men and women, safer, freedom, freedom, apple pie, Amerca. Strong economy, breaking oil independence, no child left without an i-pod, working families, tax credits, red white and blue speckled puppies and John McCain. Immigration, terrorism, Saddam Hussein, insurgents, 9-11, victory, freedom, long road ahead, God bless Amerca.”

I'll fast forward through the standing Saddam Hussein is dead ovation. Not because I like Saddam, I'll just be sick of the back clapping already.

2006

Who Buys this Crap Part II

While shopping at Target in Machesney Park, IL today, I took photos of two t-shirts designed for 3-6 month old baby girls (because they're pink of course) "Does this diaper make my butt look big??" for those who want to encourage an eating disorder as early as possible. And if you'd like to sexualize your infant but can't find the "I'm too sexy for my diaper" onsie that JC Penny's yanked after consumer complaints Target now has "worth the wait" implying that someday somebody older than the baby will be counting down the days before she can legally show us her knockers. ew.

You can go ahead and drop Target a note with your views here

Warm Fuzzies for Everyone!

I mentioned “Cold pricklies” and Dan said “huh?”

“You know, cold pricklies… what people give when they don’t want to give a warm fuzzy, it’s not as good as the fake warm fuzzy but better than nothing, it keeps your spine from shriveling up…”

He looked at me like I was nuts. I thought every kid in the universe heard this story in second grade but I am wrong and today I share because it’s a good one.

A Warm Fuzzy Tale by Claude M. Steiner

Don't Hate Me Part II

CoCo Key Water Resort in Rockford Grand Opening.

Fire dancers and hula girls!


















This water park ROCKS! I took gobs of photos for you people. Should any of you ever visit Bombadee's Garden from far away THIS is the hotel I will suggest to you. It's about half an hour from my house and the rooms are pretty nice. Dan and I spent our wedding night there 10 years ago, it was a wedding suite with a jacuzzi in the floor and that's all I'll say about that. Anyway the hotel recently decided to remodel and add this indoor water park to reinvigorate it's reputation and I am indeed newly impressed.















The cocktail party: Politicians, builders and local celebs all in attendance a few little kids and lots of hotel people smiling from ear to ear. Free beer and wine and munchies abound; chefs frying scallops right there in front of you with sprinkled sugared toasted coconut on top, Oh. My. God. I could've lived on these alone, also served: crab claws, shrimp, oysters, tiny scallops marinated in mango basil pineapple, shrimp pastries with apricot jam, fruit, fruit and cheese. Fresh fresh fresh! We watched the mayor of Rockford do a hula dance and then proceed to the locker room where he got to be the first swimmer to stuff his socks into a locker, oh and he also got to be the first swimmer down the water slide. (Surreal) Goodie bags included a photo frame and a pic of yourself with the parrot (or on the beach or underwater, yeah for green screens).
































The amusements: The arcade attached to the water park includes Whack an Alien, Skee Ball and Ms. Pac Man and I shouldn't have to say any more. The water park includes three water slides, a giant play area and a place where the toddlers can play while the parents relax in chairs pointing towards the giant movie projector screen against the wall (it's the thing that looks like a ship's sail). Yeah, you can swim AND watch movies, I know! There is an area with basketball hoops in the pool and a bar next to the jacuzzi which includes a tunnel that goes to the outside jacuzzi (yes, open in the winter). There's a 'lazy river' to ride and little cabanas to rent for private parties.



























The nitty gritty: The locker rooms have lockers that are activated by waving your wristband in front of the sensor, lots of private showers, complimentary towels and a little machine that spins the water out of your swimmy suit. Passes for the day $30.00 per person, during the week.

This message has been brought to you by: Bombadee Needs Free Tickets to your Water Resort.

Don't Hate Me

I rolled out of bed about 8 or so, Dan had already made coffee and breakfast for Ella. She and I will hop in the tub to have a good bubble bath soak then we'll be off to the mall for a hard day of shopping, riding the carousel and sushi. Then we'll jet home to change clothes and pick up Dan, stop at Grandma's where Ella will get to hang out and watch Cinderella when Dan and I are at the Grand Opening of Coco Key Resort Cocktail Party. We'll sip Meitei's while watching Fire Dancers and listening to a steel drum band. If all ends well, Ella will go to bed early.

Some days are better than others.

First Day

We rushed into the building carrying Ella through snow; sat down, whipped pink cowboy boots off and crammed feet into slippers. We barely had time to tell her to ‘break a leg’ before she was standing on the yellow line waiting for the teacher to ask her name. I fretted she would run behind my leg and hold on tight like a starfish in a tutu. She was last in line so the young lady leaned down and said “You must be Ella.” She replied “I sure am!” and ran whole heartedly into the studio. Dan and I along with the rest of the 30 something parents stared at the girls biting our lips and hoping our girls would listen well and dance a miracle. Turns out little girls adore ballet teachers and obey every command as if she were the Queen. She coaxed them into first position, charmed them to bend their knees and enticed them to skip and jump. The mamarazzi standing in the hallway went wild with flash-less photos while comparing cameras. Soon the girls were returned to us in the tiny hallway where we returned the pink cowboy boots and pulled a sweatshirt over a smiling face.

No Means NO

Dear George,

You’re not getting any more money or support from us. We told you it was over last November, you need to accept that this relationship is beyond repair. We know that we let you do some things we weren’t proud of in the past but hear us now when we say No means NO. We don’t want any part in your drama anymore, no not even one last time for old times sake – it’s OVER. If you continue to persist Pelosi will get the mace out of her purse and make our point up close and personal, we don’t like what your doing, we told you no, and we are done, go home and sleep it off. If you don’t stop we’ll be forced to get a restraining order. No means NO!

The Voters

These Faces

January 11th I received and reposted this message on Myspace:

“Please read & repost :)Body: ***If you have any information about the disappearance of William “Ben” Ownby, contact the Franklin County Sheriff’s Department at 636-583-2567, or the Missouri State Highway Patrol or the FBI. Ben is 13 years old, 4 feet 10 inches tall, 100lbs, brown hair, blues eyes. He was wearing a hooded St. Louis Rams windbreaker and blue jeans. He was also wearing glasses.***Name: William OwnbyDOB: 1993-12-06Age: 13Race: whiteGender/Sex: MHair Color: brownEye Color: blueHeight: 4' 10"Weight: 100Clothing: st louis rams hooded windbreaker and blue jeansOther: wears glassesVictim got off bus after school approx 1530 hrs and was walking home and did not arrive. White Nissan pickup with camper shell seen in the Beaufort area.”

I really didn’t know how timely the message was but I figured if it were my kid I’d like people to repost it until found, even if it took years – so I reposted. Today I opened the news and read:

"Two Missing Boys FoundA 13 year old who vanished from the gravel road near his home five days ago was found alive Friday, along with a 15 year old boy missing since 2002.William "Ben" Ownby and Shawn Hornbeck were found in a Kirkwood, Mo., home belonging to Michael Devlin, 41, who has been charged with one count of first degree kidnapping.Sheriff Gary Toelke said the break in the case came Thursday night. Kirkwood police officers were serving a warrant on an apartment complex when they noticed a white truck matching the description of a vehicle sought in the Ownby investigation."

Now, I encourage you to take a minute and go look at these faces

Photo Album

This is what I worked on this morning. I took over 300 photos last night. I've taken over 1000 since Christmas. I think I have a serious addiction.

It’s E! – L! – A!

“It’s fun to be big because I can spell my name now and it’s E! – L! – A!”

“Let’s be mermaids together”

“My teeth are all brushed and dressed for bed”

Don’t you just love a good mail week!

I received a package from Cameo (I'd link but she's moving) that included cookies! Thank you dearest – we love them. I received my first copy of USA Roller Sports Magazine which made me pour over each add while mentally building my dream skates. I received a letter from Grandpa and Grandma that smelled like their house when I opened it (Estee Lauder, Oak and Green Olives) and last but not least we received a tiny oblong box containing a bottle filled with sand and shells and a message. It’s an invitation to a cocktail party. Dan went to get the mail today and there wasn’t any. All our good mail karma is spent.

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Most kids look forward to being a “Big Girl” and I botched the idea totally. We hyped Big Girl status about as well as Bush sold our brand of freedom to the Iraqis, without regard for their feelings. I defined being a Big Girl with going potty, sleeping in your own bed, no more nursing and going to work in a coal mine to earn pennies for gruel. She took to the mine immediately declaring the other kids and the canaries “ever so much fun to play with” but the other three exciting milestones have reduced my daughter to a sobbing mess. She hangs on to me pleading “I don’t want to grow up, I just want to be a little girl” and “I’m not three” at which time I shake her off my leg and tell her to go back to work stitching tennis shoes for more privileged children.

I’m trying to sell her the benefits of being Big with the “List of Things You Can Do When You’re Big”. The list includes; cracking eggs into the pan, squeezing the chocolate into your own milk, ballet school, using paints, holding the dog’s leash while out walking, using markers and getting in and out of the tub on your own. I’m not sure why that last one is a big thrill but I figured it was an easy concession even if it means wet foot prints all over the house, besides the “List of Things You Can Do When You’re Big” was painfully short and was missing things like; driving, drinking coffee, having chocolate for breakfast and holding the remote.

Ella Turns 3

Ella's Big Weekend