Jan 31, 2006


I will tune in tonight in the hopes that my president has suddenly realized that he totally agrees with me. Alas I will hear him say:

“Make no mistake, we have hunted down those that would try to harm us 9-11 and we will bring 9-11 evildoers to justice 9-11. Amerca is a safer 9-11 place, terrorism, freedom, vital mission, secure, secure, terror, freedom, freedom, vital homeland security Amerca! Further more, tax relief, working families, no child left behind, safer, freedom, freedom, 9-11, terror, terror, freedom, God Bless Amerca.”

Then I will turn to Dan and we will try not to puke on each other and wish we’d watched a movie instead.


On Fridays I change the radio in our kitchen from NPR to our local top 40. This is an old office habit I decidedly hung on to. It makes it feel like the weekends starts early. This morning I turned the radio back on for the first time this week, quickly tuned in NPR and started coffee. As I sat down with my coffee and my ears took focus I heard the familiar talk of Darwin vs. creationism. Now I think both theories peacefully coexist in my world but I enjoy a good debat so I listened; Darwin this, God that, blah, blah, blah, WHAT?!!!? Are we agreeing that evolution is a religion? Who is that talking?! Did our lord and savior come down to earth in the middle of the night and proclaim creationism the one truth???? OH, I accidentally dialed in the Christian station next to NPR. Phew!

Jan 30, 2006

Toddlers in the Mist

The students who run the play school were amazed when Ella actually talked last week. I can’t imagine which child they are mistaking for Ella because MY Ella talks nonstop and often punctuates her talking with “Mom, Mom, Mom? Mom, Mom, Mom?” It seems my dear daughter goes catatonic for an hour during play school until she sees me again. Of course it doesn’t help that when we get there she is immediately encircled by over eager teenage girls all carefully holding stuffed bunnies and toy trucks at arms length out to my toddler trying to lure her in. Speaking in affected high tones, dozens of over eye-shadowed eyes stare hungrily at Ella begging her to crawl into their blue jean laps. I’m not sure how to tell them they are freaking my child out more than inviting her in, “Um, could you teenagers try not to act so awkward please?”

The Dian Fossey’s Gorilla's in the Mist approach really would be the better way to go. Sit quietly near the primate and don't make eye contact, be nonchalant. Perhaps move closer and let the primate groom you, she/he may want to pick your nose, maul your sparkly earrings or just pull on your lips. Once this ‘contact’ has been made you know it’s safe to attempt to teach the young primate how to color or glue sparkles to a piece of construction paper. Above all remember that these little ones my look cute and cuddly, but they are really very dangerous, they have very sharp teeth, and ear piercing cry and parents that will not hesitate to rip your arms off and beat you with them should you cause harm to the little ones, but please, try and relax anyway.

Jan 29, 2006

New Goals for 2006

1. Learn Sonny's part of "I've Got You Babe" for karaoke with Tater Tot
2. Learn to dance the "Boot Scootin' Boogie" for Heather (and weddings)
3. Totally drink less
4. Teach Jennie how to dip and be dipped, then we can double dip (ok, I know that was bad, give me a break I'm hung over)

Jan 28, 2006

I'm Ella

I'm trying to find a story this morning that I either read or heard on the radio about rising violent behavior among our nation's female youth. The argument said that as our girls are raised without gender specific stereotypes they feel more able to beat the crap out of each other and thus violent crimes are on the rise.

Aha! Here you are internets - wrap your minds around this and then apply it to the discussion we're having. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8101517/site/newsweek/from/RL.4/

In other news:

My dear Ella has taken to announcing who she is all the time like she's Denny Crane.

Gramma: Did you go to school today?
Ella: Yep, going to school, I'm Ella

Dan: I'm going bye bye sweetie I'm going to work
Ella: Bye Dad, love you, I'm Ella

Me: Come eat breakfast sweetie
Ella: I'm Ella

Jan 27, 2006

The B-Word

Today I wrote about the old double standard we apply to women with regard to being blunt vs. being a bitch. I stand by my argument. I still think a liberated woman should feel her ideas are free to be spoken and shared and pursued without fear of her government, her peers, her school, her family, or her friends. However perhaps I was wrong to embrace the words that perpetrate the stereotype.

Twisty’s post today was oddly connected in the same idea when she wrote, “The designers of the kitten cover, both women, defended their stupidity with some asinine bullshit about “re-appropriating” degrading stereotypes.”

I followed Twisty’s
link and read this “But we honestly believe you can change connotations by re-appropriating them (especially with humor). That’s why it’s OK for Spike Lee to make a movie about minstrel shows but it would not be OK if Woody Allen did. Mel Brooks can get away for Springtime for Hitler, but Prussian Blue can’t … context is everything.”

So here’s the new question: Does embracing a derogatory label ever re-appropriate it’s connotation or does it help perpetuate it’s offensive use?

Should we embrace “Bitch”?

Lady Liberty

On Free Speech for Women in Modern America.

We vote, we work, we make laws, we raise families, we worship, we enjoy all of the wonderful things that all American’s enjoy yet we are oppressed by our culture in ways we no longer notice. I am speaking on a more personal level about women’s liberation. I think a liberated woman should feel her ideas are free to be spoken and shared and pursued without fear of her government, her peers, her school, her family, or her friends.

How simple it sounds – to be able to speak your mind without fear.
To say:
-I’m voting for
-Give me a day off and a raise
-I will breastfeed here in public
-I don’t like your boyfriend
-I like bright red lipstick
-I’m in love with you
-It’s my body
-I will not clean the house today
-I can’t help you
-I’m never going to wear panty hose again
-I deserve
-I will dye my hair blue
-Because I said so
-I think

How hard it actually is to do. I thought I didn’t have good friendships because I was picked on as a child and as a result became opinionated but it occurred to me, maybe I was disliked because I am outspoken. It’s a threat “Wait a minute, that one there, she isn’t acting like she’s supposed to. Quick shoot her, she’s probably gone rabid!” The dissent can liberate one from what I think are antiquated social mores and sometimes they liberate one from friendships. So it goes, there is always a price and that is why it is hard.

We’ve all grown up with the knowledge that the same characteristics that can make a man an honest and fair leader make a woman a heartless and bossy bitch. The same honest character that makes men invite my husband to stand for them in their weddings keeps me from standing in anyone’s. I’ve heard “opinionated”, “judgmental”, “blunt”, “critical”, “disapproving”, “harsh”, “frigid”, “cold”, “unsympathetic”, “callous”, “aggressive”, “ruthless”, “inconsiderate”, “severe”, “insensitive”, and “defiant”. I wear these titles proudly as they have been given to me many times since I was a girl, so many times they no longer have a negative meaning for me as I remember the double standard and they represent my liberation.

Because I said so.

Women's Lib Casserole postcard

Jan 26, 2006

I’m Hungry

Ok just one cute and fluffy:

Ella would like to give a shout out to Gamma and Gapa (aka Mamma & Papa) who recently got “G”s added to their names. Congratulations folks!

In other news:

I finished “Christ The Lord, Out of Egypt” by Anne Rice. Dan read it first so there were some conversations that went like this:

Act I
Me: I’m on chapter 4, does this thing pick up at all?
Dan: Well, not really. He’s only 7 he doesn’t start smiting people on a regular basis till later in the bible
Me: Crap, I’m going to read faster

Act II
Me: This book makes me hungry
Dan: Hungry for knowledge?
Me: No, just hungry, there is just a lot of feasting. There are olives and baking bread and figs soaked in honey and fresh lamb in spices and wine sauce and un-leavened bread, yeah I’m hungry.

Me: So the whole book is really just like any other 8 year old asking his parents where he came from and how babies are made and the parents not wanting to answer all those tough questions and trying to consider if the child is old enough to know these things.
Dan: That’s a modern thought. My dad grew up on a farm and farm kids totally knew how the baby cows were made they didn’t need to ask how it worked. Besides Jesus wasn’t asking where he came from, really he was asking who his father was.
Me: Wow, I suppose that is a modern dilemma, or a city kid dilemma.
Dan: And I think Anne Rice meant for you to think of Jesus’ situation as a little more serious than “That’s a good question son, you better go ask your mother.” Or “Here read this book called ‘Our Bodies Ourselves’ and if you have any questions let me know.
Me: Well I’m glad it got better – even though the pace never really picked up. Maybe she should’ve tossed in more miracles or something.
Dan: I’m not sure that would’ve been accurate.
Me: Accurate Schmaccurate, more miracles and less food, that’s what I say.

(Ok Act III didn’t really sound like that, but you get the gist– and beside I never let things like accuracy get in the way of a good story).

Jan 24, 2006

The Real Miss America

Miss America - an outdated wank-a-thon. Here’s what an updated Miss America contest should be

1. Each participant has to have at least a 3.75 GPA. and an impressive plan for the future.
2. Each woman must be registered to vote and have something intelligent to say about politics (city, state, national, global - whatever) to prove they are an informed voter.
3. Women would be allowed no makeup (yeah you heard me – NONE)
4. Women would be disqualified for plastic surgeries, died hair, duct-taped boobies and all other illusions of the body, including fake nails.
5. Women will perform feats of athleticism to prove their health and endurance
6. There will still be an evening wear competition, makeup will be allowed. (I can't completely give up the pretty, but gowns aren't necessary, one may wear a pantsuit or tight jeans and a sparkly shirt if so desired)
7. Two talent competitions; the first will be entertaining and the second will be useful to society ie: a contestant may be able to juggle or sing but then she must also be able to effectively lobby in favor gun control or vaccinate Bangladeshi orphans against polio.
8. In place of the swimsuit competition we would just have them come out nude. It would demystify women’s bodies and girls could actually compare their own breasts to the sag of a real breast (see #3). What’s the point of a swimsuit anyway? You can see most if them already.
9. The judges get to ask her parents about her most embarrassing moment (it’ll be like a national televised embarrassing Thanksgiving dinner conversation).
10. The people get to vote by phone/internet (like American Idol)
11. The winner gets to represent our youth by being an honorary cabinet member to the President of the United States of America.

12. No crown, as America is not a Monarchy the winner gets letterhead and a pen, ok maybe some flowers too.

I can’t think of any more. Please feel free to add.

Thanks again Jennie for the inspiration.

Jan 23, 2006

She still likes me best

I walked into the classroom to pick Ella up. She wasn’t broken or lost and she didn’t even have any new tattoos she was just sitting in Anne’s lap. I wanted to say “Tell me about every single moment she was away from me. What did you do? What happened? Did she like it? Did she make friends? Isn’t she just the most wonderful person you’ve ever met in your life?” Instead I opted for “Did she cry?” the answer was "No, she just took a while to warm up and then she even talked a little". "Good" I said. Ella had resigned herself to still sitting in Anne’s lap even though I was standing right there. I said “Hey puny, you ready to go?” She jumped right up and ran to me and grabbed her coat. (Phew!) I asked her to put some toys away and she placed a wayward truck into a bucket and the teenagers said thank you, handed us a picture Ella had colored, everyone waved and smiled and we left.

Eeek it seems so sudden.

I just dropped Ella off at her first day of play school*. We were greeted by a nice young lady named Anne. Ella started to get scarred and hold on to my leg so I picked her up and told her “Darling, you are going to go play with Anne and all the kids and the trucks and I am going to go to the store and then I will come back to get you.” I handed her to Anne and left. Eeek it seems so sudden.

I stopped in the hallway and peeked through the window at Ella standing there dumbfounded that I had actually left, Anne trying desperately to get her attention with a stuffed bunny. Ella was shaken out of her catatonic state by a little boy by the door that started to scream “I want my Mommy!” I snapped these pictures and left.

What is running through my mind next:

-What if they break her
-I have to call Dan
-What if they loose her
-What if she is crying the whole time
-I’m the first mom to get into the car, why is that
-What if someone starts shooting up the school and they don’t know anything about her with no name tag and no last name they’ll just know she’s Ella and that’s all and no phone number accept for written inside her jacket and nobody looks there
-What if she doesn’t miss me

-How far away is 10:45
-Why didn’t she cry and hold onto my leg

-Is it 10:30 yet
-What is it that I was supposed to get at the grocery store all I can remember is onions, I can’t believe my big grocery trip without Ella was spent buying onions and frappuccino
-I wonder if Anne baby-sits

-Is it 10:30 yet

*Playschool is were the highschool kids get to practice running a daycare in their child development class. It's for children age 2 & 3. It's from 9:45 to 10:45 every other day for 5 weeks. She's going to love it. She's been saying for weeks "Im goin' school!" and we've been practicing "Hi, I'm Ella, what's your name?"

Jan 21, 2006

Real Power

Oprah featured a couple that bought a stripper for their sons 16th birthday and a dozen of his under 18 friends. Had you asked my opinion 10 years ago, I may have shrugged and said “What they’ve never seen a naked woman before?” It is different now in that I believe they were teaching their son and his buddies it is ok to objectify young women.

Here’s the thing, I have been to strip clubs and I have known strippers (In College) and the following conversation is not about the art of Burlesque or Naked Showgirls or people who are in the sex industry of their own choosing. I am referring to the 18 year old girl who is in a dark smoky bar humping a silver pole with three dollar bills in her g-string and a string bikini top covering her newly bought boobs, while five drunk young men hoot and jeer at her feet.

Stripping is an easy way to make money but at 18 one is too immature to make rational decisions about one’s exploitation. These young women might think they have sexual power and prowess over their drooling minions, but likely can’t buy a beer yet and may feel later that they could never run for congress because of their actions. Now being a congresswoman - that's real power! In short practicing, promoting and accepting the objectification of a young adult (male or female) makes prostitution and slave trafficking that much easier and accepted by society as a whole.

Ok call me a prude, I think all strippers should at least be old enough to rent a car on their own before taking the job. (25 years old) It would just make me feel better.

Jan 20, 2006

The Life of Pi

I read The Life of Pi in three days. I decided to read it after hearing “it’s a life changing experience”. I wouldn’t say it was life changing for me except that I missed a good deal of sleep because I was reading but I would say it was Excellent.

Part one was a little like a text book. A good text book, like one written by that really good History teacher you had in college who told a story about how his wife got the shits in New Delhi on vacation totally forcing you to remember for the rest of your life the capital is New Delhi and the population is over 1,000,000,000 and clean water is a problem. Part one was devoured the first day.

Part two came just in time. I started to look ahead and wonder if there was ever going to be any action. I said to Dan “It’s like a conversation with an old hippy, lots of philosophy and color and no point”. Alas the first paragraph of part two is shocking and dire. So I sat until 1:00am reading as much of part two as I could. The whole next day I thought about Pi and his situation, I agonized until I could find out what happened.

Part three was very short and went by in minutes after the epic second half of part two. I nearly choked on it I ate it up so fast. I had to stop to enjoy it several times. I was very satisfied with it all. I am glad I read it and I find my mind wandering back to it throughout my day and considered reading it again (yes, twice in a row).

Dear Bush administration

Google refuses White House search request Good for Google!

Dear Bush administration, if you want to know what the American public is writing about and thinking of, freaking ask us! Go out and talk to people. Read the paper and watch some news! Some people actually put their lives wide open out onto the internet and then we beg people to read it.

Jan 19, 2006

the fourth table setting

I missed a blogging day. I know, it killed me too. All sorts of things are happening at our house this week and I will spare you all the details as it’d to arduous to write about and I’m not sure I’d like to share everything. So here’s the short of it. My husband’s mother is in the hospital, she’s not doing well. We don’t really know much. We’ll be visiting her today. We are very tense about the whole situation.

And now I shall post a photo that entertained me to no end. Ella set the table Monday night (Paper plates and cupcake papers). She also sang Happy Birthday to herself. There was a plate for Mommy, Daddy and Ella and then there was a fourth table setting. Here's what it looked like.

Jan 17, 2006

Junky TV

Overheard while The Bachelor was on last night.

Me: "Come on, really, what does a mature 33 year old emergency room Doctor have in common with a 22 year old Canadian student who likes to camp?"

Him: "Um, they both like her butt."

I'm in WI for the evening folks, I'm taking Ella to Grandma& Grandpa's Cabin - don't fret we'll be back tomorrow night.

Jan 16, 2006

Happy Birthday Dr. King!

Never Forget

Pill may subdue traumatic memories January 15, 2006 BY MARILYNN MARCHIONE

“Suppose you could erase bad memories from your mind. Suppose, as in a recent movie, your brain could be wiped clean of sad and traumatic thoughts.

That is science fiction. But real-world scientists are working on the next-best thing…

…The need for better treatment grows daily as American troops return from Iraq and Afghanistan with wounded minds as well as bodies. One government survey found almost one in six showing symptoms of mental stress, including many with post-traumatic stress disorder. Disability payments related to the illness cost the government more than $4 billion a year.”

I read this article yesterday and I’m alarmed. There is such a large possibility for abuse with a pill like this. I don’t mean like ‘housewives and Vicodin abuse’ I mean ‘reverse Clockwork Orange abuse’. I believe things that are distressing and unforgettable have deep purpose and meaning. They allow us passion and drive. They fuel politics and art. They inspire and warn.

We are meant to experience trauma in a highly negative way. The implications of erasing difficult feelings with a pill instead of working through would make the human race psychologically weak. It would devastate self esteem earned through triumph of the human spirit. People and societies who exhibit self destructive behaviors may never evolve.

Epic tales of sorrow will become fiction.

Courage will hold no meaning.

Dear reader would you pop a sad pill? I would not and I say -
Never Forget.

Jan 15, 2006


Congratulations to my cousin Andrea and her new husband Grant. It was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to.

Stunning church

This sweet couple sat in front of us

Ella had a lolly to keep her busy

The sunset on the way to the reception

Ice sculpture!

The mother of the groom made all these cakes.

The place settings at the head table

Jazz on the dance floor

Happy guests

As promised a glimpse of the ludicrous cleavage shirt. I decided to wear it after a wise lady to me to "launch 'em if ya got 'em". Well, I launched 'em under a nice suede geen jacket and white scarf (as seen above).

Thanks wise lady

Jan 14, 2006

Private Conversation

Me: I’m not sure I should wear this shirt to my cousin’s wedding

Him: Why, I think it looks really good?

Me: Because I have ludicrous cleavage when I wear it

Him: That’s because you have ludicrous cleavage

Me: You’re not helping

Him: I’d hump on you

Jan 13, 2006

Green Eggs & Ham

I love the internet because sometimes I feel like I have seen it all. If this were the 16th century I would be a ripe old woman with the knowledge and wisdom of the world, but alas I am just a Mom surfing the internet daily looking for new ideas, especially in the art world.

Years ago I stumbled on this guy
Eduardo Kac who thought something new, kind of a The Island of Dr. Moreau meets the digital age* art. He mixed bunny genes with jellyfish genes to create a glow in the dark bunny named Alba. “Transgenic art, I proposed elsewhere [1], is a new art form based on the use of genetic engineering to transfer natural or synthetic genes to an organism, to create unique living beings.” said Kac. I was enamored by this idea in that it was NEW to me, it renewed my faith that I had not ‘seen it all’ before.

This morning I read about
Glowing Green Pigs Bred in Taiwan and this time they’re doing it in the name of saving human lives. What started as an argument with artist friends “Just because we can, should we?” has ended with a resounding “Yes, we should” – this time.

* http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+digital+age <--How can this be?!

Jan 12, 2006

Where’s My Wand?

Now back to your regularly scheduled cuteness -

Me: Are you my Munchie Pie?
Very serious Ella pointing to herself: No Mommy, I not Munchie Pie, I Ella.

Me: Are you hungry?
Ella nodding: I hunnngey!
Me: What would you like to eat?
Ella: How ‘bout bo-nah-nah!?
Me: Ok, I’ll get you a banana
Ella: Horay! Bo-nah-nah’s here.

Ella: Day-day needs pets, ‘cause she’s just a dog

Ella Dresses in sparkly gown and crown: Momma? Where’s my wand?

Photo series entitled
"It took her all afternoon to finish the crossword"

Jan 11, 2006

Dark Age or Digital Age

Let’s play a game called “Dark Age or Digital Age”

1. Domestic rule is oblivious to blight of the poor resulting in famine, disease and natural disaster claiming countless lives.
2. Oppression of women’s rights occurs in the name of saving their immortal souls
3. Criminals are punished by death
4. Torture is an accepted method to coerce a confession
5. One accusation by a reputable plaintiff can land you in a torturous situation without legal representation
6. The general population is fascinated with the patrician class and follows every petite breakup with a fervor
7. Science is denounced as heretics and religion moves to the forefront
8. Leaders tout ‘divine right’ to their position

All winners will come to the conclusion there really are no winners.

Jan 10, 2006

Judo Chop

I wore my Grandmother’s dress at my wedding. I had it altered by a Korean lady in Wisconsin. She was an expert in lace and bead work, an artist really. She told me to wear falsies on my wedding day, as she couldn't take the dress in anymore without ruining the integrity of the garment. As if the dress would shout “I beg your pardon you flat chested ninny, get your boy chest out of here before I do something I will regret!”

It was ok though, I had been picked on before, I could certainly handle anything a seamstress could dish. I just yanked up my shirt and flashed her my itty-bitties Jerry Springer style and told her to 'bring it beeeeyotch!'. She lunged for me with scissors in one hand and long red finger nails scratching for my face. I threw a nearby container of tiny pearl beads into her eyes and judo chopped her left shoulder. "How ya like me now?" I yelled while my Grandma tried to pull us apart.

Ok really, I just wore a padded bra.

Thank you Jennie for helping me 'remember' this story and KTJ for the totally best wedding photo I own.

Jan 9, 2006

The Flourish of a Toreador

While wrapping Ella's bajillionth present on Saturday night, I looked at Dan and said 'Maybe we aren't doing the right thing". Just because we can give our child everything - should we? Later in the weekend we caught a piece of the show "Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl" and I shuddered looking into the future were Ella throws a $10,000 going away party because she's going to Hollywood to be an AMW (actress/model/whatever) and then at the end of the party Daddy paid for, announces she could never leave her beloved cash cow, oops I mean Daddy.

I’m stressed about this, ergo - the list;
1. It's not her fault her birthday is next to Christmas.
2. She is well rounded, I say “no” sometimes.
3. She shares (if she’s well rested).
4. Birthday parties are decadent – they are supposed to be.
5. My new year’s resolution is to revel in the good life and stop teaching my daughter how to be a martyr.

I should erase all of the above and just say this.

Happy Birthday Dear Ella, We are so proud of you. You unwrapped each of your presents with the flourish of a toreador and shared all of them as best you could. You liked your toys but you loved your company. You told everyone "Thank You". You passed out kisses and hugs like water and you smiled and enjoyed your day. Love, Mom & Dad

Without further ado - photos!

Jan 6, 2006

Here's Yours T.T.

"We should all have such collages of ourselves. It would remind us not to bee too serious all the time." -Jennie aka Tater Tot - Casserole

(now you know why I like her so much)

I beg your pardon

Ella woke up with a dry diaper this morning. I asked her if she wanted to go potty she replied “No kanx.” While having breakfast I asked her if she wanted some cranberry juice, she replied “No kanx.” After playing blocks for some time I demanded she get her shoes back on so her feet would be warm, she replied “No kanx.” I’m not sure I would call this the “terrible twos” but maybe I would call it the “politely disagreeable twos”.

Jan 5, 2006

Happy Birthday Little Girl

Two years ago today.

I can hardly fathom that two short years ago we were in the hospital recovering from our big event. I will be posting Birthday Party Pictures over the weekend. Happy 2nd Birthday Ella!

Jan 4, 2006

Bubbles & Marshmallows

Ok quick post, as I am only home for a few minutes today. Ella had her two year check up today. She is in the 75% for her age. She is 34½ inches tall. The old wives tale says to double that and it will be how tall she will be when she’s grown. That makes my daughter 5’9”, taller than both Dan and I and able to do runway modeling (Just giving her every option.) This is where I brag about my superior genes accept that I’m 5’4” and my mom is 5’ so I’m not sure where this is coming from, perhaps the super milk I produce.

In other developments we are going to go see King Kong tonight after I pick up my newly repaired van. Tomorrow I will be cleaning like mad and packing up toys. I have only mentally packed up Ella’s neglected toys so far. I’m sure if I do it while she’s looking she will rediscover them all and they will be her new favorites. Friday, Christmas will go away in preparation for Birthday. Next week I will catch my breath and have a hot chocolate in the bath tub, with bubbles and marshmallows. You can decide which goes were – I won’t care.

Jan 3, 2006

I liked 2005

Oh the decadence of the holidays, I have eaten my weight in fudge, and been slightly drunk at least once a day for the last week. My family is wallowing in dirty laundry and paper plates as I am no longer a housewife but a reveler. Let me tell you dear Internets, I do feel guilty about it. Not guilty because it makes baby Jesus cry when I indulge my daughter until she says “Crap Mom, how many presents do I have to open? You better feed me more chocolate so I have the energy to play with isle 2, 3, 4 and 7 of Toys R Us recreated in our home.” Not guilty that I have shirked my housewife responsibilities and the dog can now subsist off of the crumbs on my un-vacuumed floor. I am guilty in that I had a lovely holiday and some folks that we know didn’t. In fact some folks I know had a down right appalling holiday and are very happy 2005 is done and gone. I’ve been feeling bad about touting my successes to my friends and family who’ve had a craptacular couple of weeks.

I’m sorry, I liked 2005. It was comfortable and yummy and warm and filled with sandboxes and swimmy classes and romance and nights out with friends and blogging. I am concerned that friends and family are having a less than lustrous beginning to the New Year but here is what I decided for 2005. The above apology will be my last in that I am no longer feeling bad for my successes. Should one ask me how I am, the response will be a resounding “Fabulous, perfect and couldn’t be better! Ella is happy, well adjusted and smart as a whip, my house is toasty warm and nice, I lost all my baby weight and Dan is handsome as ever.” If housewife up the street starts to tout her husband’s inadequacies, I will no longer respond with “Yeah, well Dan is bad at laundry.” You are more likely to hear “That’s too bad, my husband does the laundry, and he’s such a sweetie.”

It’s been my problem for a while and I believe it has to do with feelings of undeserved-ness. I sometimes feel like tragedy is perched on the edge of my life waiting for me to get comfortable so she can hurl herself into my lap and feast upon my shock. Perhaps I complain so as to not tempt the fates – or out of concern for other's feelings. I think there is a fine line between conveying good news and boasting. I will discover the audacity to tap dance on that line this year - it’s my resolution for 2006 to revel in my fabulous life. (Cross my self twice and spit, throw salt over my shoulder knock on wood and cross myself again.) Wish me luck.

Jan 2, 2006

tiny little lists

I can’t seem to get a cohesive thought going. I’m making tiny little lists in my head for the new-year. Vegas trip, Library Dinner, Birthday Party, Art Classes, Ballet; each of these items has a giant of list of ‘to-do’ underneath it. I’m obsessing. I’m stuck in list mode. Whenever this happens I make

A Small List of Things I Like:
Fancy coffee
Long hot bubble baths
Warm feet
Great fitting blue jeans
Getting feedback on my blog (thank you internets)
Getting the perfect photo
A brand new pen, crayon, marker or set of paints
Running my fingers through Ella’s hair
Finishing the crossword
Knee socks

Wrapping presents

Jan 1, 2006


We hosted a pajama party. Everyone wore their best jammies and tiaras and we played board games.

While Jennie (above) and I and the rest of the grown ups lounged around drinking Cosmopolitans, our toddlers were on a date. First they had dinner and polite conversation

Then they moved over by the Christmas tree where Sugar Lips played the tiny piano and serenaded Ella and my husband got nervous about the nick-name Sugar Lips.