Toddlers in the Mist

The students who run the play school were amazed when Ella actually talked last week. I can’t imagine which child they are mistaking for Ella because MY Ella talks nonstop and often punctuates her talking with “Mom, Mom, Mom? Mom, Mom, Mom?” It seems my dear daughter goes catatonic for an hour during play school until she sees me again. Of course it doesn’t help that when we get there she is immediately encircled by over eager teenage girls all carefully holding stuffed bunnies and toy trucks at arms length out to my toddler trying to lure her in. Speaking in affected high tones, dozens of over eye-shadowed eyes stare hungrily at Ella begging her to crawl into their blue jean laps. I’m not sure how to tell them they are freaking my child out more than inviting her in, “Um, could you teenagers try not to act so awkward please?”

The Dian Fossey’s Gorilla's in the Mist approach really would be the better way to go. Sit quietly near the primate and don't make eye contact, be nonchalant. Perhaps move closer and let the primate groom you, she/he may want to pick your nose, maul your sparkly earrings or just pull on your lips. Once this ‘contact’ has been made you know it’s safe to attempt to teach the young primate how to color or glue sparkles to a piece of construction paper. Above all remember that these little ones my look cute and cuddly, but they are really very dangerous, they have very sharp teeth, and ear piercing cry and parents that will not hesitate to rip your arms off and beat you with them should you cause harm to the little ones, but please, try and relax anyway.