Aug 31, 2005

Open Letter to Evelyn Turner in New Orleans

'Minimum Hundreds' Killed in New Orleans: "''What I'm supposed to do? Sit with the body until you get somebody?''

-- Evelyn Turner, left, who was having trouble getting officials to retrieve the body of her husband, who had suffered from lung cancer and died when oxygen ran out"

Dearest Evelyn, I am so sorry this has happened to you. We should have been better prepared. We should be there helping you now. I'm sorry for your grief. I wish I could open my house to you. I wish I could hug you up and feed you a good home cooked meal. I wish that things will get better for you soon.

Donate to the Red Cross.

After reading some other blogs today I did find a good question. Is watching the news about the flood like rubbernecking or is it our responsibilities as humans to bear witness?

I am not watching much news, I just can't handle the grief and I have an impressionable toddler, yet I do understand bearing witness and I did write this this letter.

Thank God My Mother Was a Tyrant

When I first heard this song I thought this song was about a girlfriend. When I least heard it (this morning on the oldies station) I realized it’s about a daughter. Sometimes clouds just look like clouds.

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine -Guns & Roses

I realize this publishing this post totally proves how painfully cool (not!) I was when I was a teenager with my big hair and fringy leather white boots and matching jacket. In 9th grade a girl at my school got a G&R tattoo, I wanted one so bad. Thank God my mother was a tyrant.

Aug 30, 2005

Our Wednesday

This is our dear dog Wednesday, named after the Gomez & Morticia Adams’ daughter; she rescued our baby from a most frightful first name. (We really were going to call out baby girl Wednesday and Wendy for short). Wednesday is starting to get gray and she adores the Ella who seems to leave a trail of crumbs behind her as if she needed to find her way back home though the woods. Day-day (as Ella calls her) has grown good and fat and lets Ella do what she will. Ella just discovered Day-day can wear hats. Poor Day-day, it’s only a matter of time before Ella discovers Day-day can probably wear a tutu.

Aug 27, 2005

Soup of the Day

Ella made octopus harmonica soup today. I know this cause she told me it was 'oup.

Recipe for Ella's 'Oup:
1 Harmonica in the Key of A
1 Orange Octopus Finger Puppet
Combine and stir liberally

Aug 26, 2005

The Casseroles Part II

The following is from my dear friend J.N.


Several options have been considered such as:

Tuna Noodle – the “tuna” part leaves too many doors open for crotch references
Stroganoff – sounds too much like “strokin’-off”
Goolash – sounds kinda creepy…and what is it really anyway?

I have decided to declare myself Jeff’s favorite casserole….TaterTot. The hearty beef bottom, the refreshing layer of nutritious green beans followed by the creamy sensation of mushroom soup topped with the fabulous crunch of golden tater tops.

Your secret nickname sister…


The Casseroles

Tonight is the 2nd monthly ladies night out. Some ladies are out of town and some couldn't get a sitter so there will probably only be three or four of us tonight - hopefully more.

I originally wanted to call it the MILF Club but Beth said it made her throw up a little in her mouth and I don't want to be a part of anything that is compared to Derek Zoolander. I agonized over the name and wanted to find something cool like 'ya-yas' which, had it not become a stinky movie, I would've adopted it immediately. I pretty much gave up when today of all days I read about one mother's dream to be in a gang.

So stolen straight from MimiSmartyPants' Blog she writes: "I dreamed that I belonged to a gang called 'The Casseroles,' and we all adopted nicknames like Tuna Noodle and Green Bean and Sweet Potato/Marshmallow.”

I am going to propose we adopt "The Casseroles" as our gang name. I think it's appropriate on so many levels and it's a very inclusive moniker and I want to be 'Green Bean' especially since we already call my dear daughter 'Ella-Bean'.

Aug 25, 2005

Overheard while laying in the guest bedroom

  • Overheard while laying in the guest bedroom at Grandparent’s. I was trying to fall alseep.

    Grandma singing in her operatic voice: “Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee; Sounds of the rude world, heard in the day, Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away…”
    Grandma still singing: “…Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea Mermaids are chanting the wild lorelie;”
    Then Grandma stops singing and says: “Dear! Did you just fart?!”
    Grandpa: “Nope”
    Grandma: “Yes you did, I can smell it and it stinks!”
    Grandpa: “No I didn’t!”
    Grandma: “Hrummph.” continues to sing: “...Over the streamlet vapors are borne, Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn. Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart, E'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea; Then will all clouds of sorrow depart…”

    Ok, Were do I start?!
    First of all who else could it be? Could she have been singing a funnier song? Why would he tell her ‘nope’? Do you have any idea how hard it was not to giggle? And lastly, they must not be aware of what the guests upstairs can hear?! God love ‘em!

Aug 21, 2005

My friend Rick

We went to the county-fair tonight and had a really nice time. It was cool and not too crowded. I ran into an old friend Rick and his two girls were running wildly from ride to ride. Rick and I met while working backstage when I was in college. He was the real thing and I just was the skinny gullible girl who helped with lighting. Those were some of the most surreal and fun years of my life, standing around backstage with Rick and Laura and John and Todd and our theatre family being important and invisible at the same time.

So anyway, we stood and talked about our girls and the he mentioned very casually that he has a genetic lung disease and the doctors told him he has about 18 months to live. I was a little dumbfounded - what do you say to that? So I asked him what he was going to do, he replied sell off his business and spend time with the kids. We talked some more and I mentioned he should stop by some time, he said "well, I don't have much time these days, so I probably won't" and I said “well if you’re ever in town, feel free”… We talked a little more and hugged and parted ways, I wonder if I’ll see him again? I hope so, he’s one smart ass man and I love that.

I meant to tell him that I hoped he would get the transplant and that I would be thinking of him. But he said the former wasn't likely and I think he knows the latter. I meant to tell him I think he's a super cool guy and I hope that these next 18 months are long and full of nice things but then again I'm sure he knows that people hope the best for him. He gave me his e-mail and I meant to say I'll send you a fresh joke often so you can get a good laugh but I know I wouldn't and he knows lots of jokes anyway. Now that I am home I guess I would just like to put the following thought out into the universe... Rick I hope you get a cool breeze up your skirt just when need it most.

Aug 20, 2005

Today's Horoscope

The wise don't need advice and fools won't follow it. The best influence is to lead by example.

Aug 19, 2005

Should I write anything of substance?

I can go on for days about my baby or I can rant on politics, I could fill you dear reader in on my barely existent wild escapades or my very married-lady sex life, I could gossip about the friends I have that I don’t like or wax prose on my gloomy past. I’m never sure what nerve to expose, dear reader, or if it will hurt. I’m not sure I ever have anything fresh to offer. There are days when I’m sure it’s all been said before… too bad I wasn’t paying attention. The question is will I have anything new to YOU.

A short rhymey poem by me

Swirling hurling curling unfurling
vines of divine line,
Gracious green,
Leaves unseen,
Perfect grapes in my mind.

I always have the urge to say “Tah-Dah”! And spread my arms wide and bow cheesily after one of my poems so you’ll have to read it again and imagine that.

Aug 17, 2005

Northbrook Mall with Mom

Mom cashed in a couple of change buckets on the way to the mall and got 400.00 bucks. So then we were determined to spend it ALL. So we went to Janie and Jack's my most favorite baby store in the whole world. I buy Ella at least one outfit from there every season. Mom bought Ella $180.00 worth of clothes there. I told her I couldn't even watch. My favorite is this little cute blue sweater dress.

Mom's favorite is peach & brown jumper. I see they've gone on sale today because the new collection just came in, I must NEVER tell mom they were on sale two days after she bought them. After lunch I took Mom into Neiman Marcus were the following conversation took place.

Me: C'mon mom let's go look at Chanel's fall collection

Mom: Ok, I like Chanel (she means the perfume I bought her)

Me: Wow what a cute suit

Mom: I don't really care for the color but I love this off white turtle neck, maybe I'll get it.

Me: How much is it?

Mom: Let's see.... $2,800.00! Choke Sputter Choke.

Me: Giggle - you should try it on mom

Mom: I shouldn't even be standing near it! What if I sneeze?

Sales Clerk: Can I help you ladies with anything?

Me: Nah, we're just looking around thanks

Me to Mom under my breath: We should be flattered that she thought we were actually shopping.

Mom: We were 'till I saw the prices.

We then continued to look at Gucci's new line and several other designers that I'd never remember. My mom fell in love with each piece. They are cut just perfectly and made with the best fabrics in the coolest prints and I'm sure the tailor them to fit you before you leave.

We ended up at
Club Monaco frantically trying on shirts before Ella woke up from her stroller nap.

I tried on several that just looked obscene with cleavage before settling on a very conservative strippey-frenchy shirt with a wide collar and a similar one that was a deep chocolate brown. I also bought the CD they were playing in the store while we shopped. Mom bought a fitted jean jacket in olive and a few insanely expensive and insanely soft t-shirts to go underneath. You know those kind of t-s that feel like they've been washed for 20 years, they're so soft.

We also went to several toy stores where they have the most inspired wooden toys ever and neat imaginative things you would never find at Dull-mart.
Galt Toys
Ella screamed until we rescued the most mundane, uninteresting, pink, blue eyed, plastic baby-doll from her box. I swear we could've bought that same baby while picking up diapers last week at Dull-mart. She carefully and contentedly gave it a bottle the whole way home.

We spent $416.00

Aug 12, 2005

Nothing to wear again

It's another sticky day and I have to drag Ella and I to the grocery store. I'm walking around the house looking for something to wear that doesn't give me a mommy-butt. I actually have a mommy-butt, you know - flat and wide, but I refuse to wear pants that come up to my rib cage in an attempt to stay on the mommy-butt. So I have exactly two pairs of shorts that look great on my booty and only one skirt and I have worn them all this week.

I refuse to buy any more clothes because I'm loosing baby weight and I'm going to be a different size soon. (HA!)

blah... perhaps I'll go naked.

Aug 11, 2005

Please have a bite

I've recently been hooked on reading several Mommy/Daddy Blogs and it makes me want to write. So here's to the beginning of a long relationship with my keyboard - I hope.


My dearest daughter has a vocabulary that mostly consitsts of food. This is only strange because she sometimes subsists on four Cherrieos and a slice of pickle. She's nineteen months old and just too busy to stop and actually eat. I am constantly chasing her around the house with various snacks in hand asking her "bite? Ella, do you want a bite of soup? How about a grape? For god sakes how about a chip or even a cookie? Honey, please have a bite."

What I can't figure out is how she can have a full diaper once a day when she isn't eating enough to sustain a Muppet much less a wild toddler. Today I gave her an oat breakfast bar to munch in the car and she proceeded to pick the jelly from the middle of it and crumble the rest onto the floor of the minivan. I have to keep reminding myself that if she were hungry and starving to death she would eat.

So here's Ella's food vocabulary thus far:

Cheedo (referring to anything resembling cheese)
Peeta (pizza)
Cookee-coookeee-goookeee-cookee-gookee-gookee... (cookie)
Dooce (juice)
Wa-er (water)
Puh (soup)
Aaaaww-brey (strawberry)
Tip (sippy cup)
Cado-cado (avocado)
No-nee (candy)

More moo (milk)
Ahem! (mommy’s milk)
bu'er (butter - which she has been to know to suck off of her toast discarding the actual toast to the floor for the 'dog-dog')
dip (her favorite thing ever - she just sucks the catsup off of the fry and then double dips till the fry is a soggy mess and she inadvertently eats some fry on accident)
Glu-brey (blueberry)
Tato (potato)

So she has other words, dog-dog, Mommy, Daddy, car, ball, to name a few but primarily her words revolve around food. I'm sure it's because I chase her around the house with morsels all day pleading for her to eat.