Most kids look forward to being a “Big Girl” and I botched the idea totally. We hyped Big Girl status about as well as Bush sold our brand of freedom to the Iraqis, without regard for their feelings. I defined being a Big Girl with going potty, sleeping in your own bed, no more nursing and going to work in a coal mine to earn pennies for gruel. She took to the mine immediately declaring the other kids and the canaries “ever so much fun to play with” but the other three exciting milestones have reduced my daughter to a sobbing mess. She hangs on to me pleading “I don’t want to grow up, I just want to be a little girl” and “I’m not three” at which time I shake her off my leg and tell her to go back to work stitching tennis shoes for more privileged children.
I’m trying to sell her the benefits of being Big with the “List of Things You Can Do When You’re Big”. The list includes; cracking eggs into the pan, squeezing the chocolate into your own milk, ballet school, using paints, holding the dog’s leash while out walking, using markers and getting in and out of the tub on your own. I’m not sure why that last one is a big thrill but I figured it was an easy concession even if it means wet foot prints all over the house, besides the “List of Things You Can Do When You’re Big” was painfully short and was missing things like; driving, drinking coffee, having chocolate for breakfast and holding the remote.
8 comments:
Sounds like there are a lot of good things about being a big girl, but I like your last list better, especially the coffe part. I would just about kill for a good cup of coffee right now.
I read and read and read this post and basically...I've got little to nothing for you. What worked for some doesn't work on all, there is no hand book or set of rules we have to follow as parents. We do the best we can and make the decisions we believe to the right ones at the time. It's easy to look back and think "woulda-shoulda-coulda" but that is just a waste of our valuable time. The idea of being "Big" to Ella seems to have the association of losing things that are important to her so she is rejecting the whole thing. I'd leave the word "Big" out of the entire goal and take a new route.
Potty training...my son took forever and I had little to do with his realization that diapers sucked (it was all Sitter Sally's doing). I can tell you that we did not wait for him to decide he was ready, we just did it and kept our fingers crossed that it would work. Four weeks of poopy underwear and about $150 worth of dinosaurs later and I think we've left diapers in the past. It wasn't an easy transition, but who ever said it was supposed to be?
Sleeping in Your Own Bed...Jeff and I had one kid who did it (our first) and when we decided it was time for her to move out of our bed and into her own it was the worst three months of my life. I knew better with kids #2 and #3 and always put them to sleep in their own beds from day one and have never had an issue with going to bed in their own bed, by themselves, at Grandmas, etc. (except for Sugar's current enjoyment of climbing in over my head to join me at 4:00 a.m. when Dad's alarm clock goes off and wakes him up)
Breastfeeding...I didn't do it, so I don't know what to tell you. From what I've observed it is more of a comfort/closeness to Mom/Ella need than a nutritional need at this point, so all I can think of is that you and she need to find an alternative way to fulfill that need (for both of you). With what you ask? I have no idea, but I"m confident you and Ella will be able to come up with something.
That will be $3.00 please.
(pretty cheap eh?)
You forgot the wine in the good things about being big.
My kid (just over 3) is mostly the same way - she's been in a big bed for like 9 months now and still asks for a crib periodically. She was okay about stopping nursing when she turned 3, and when she finally turned 3, said "I'm a baby, I don't want to be 3". Sometimes she asks to be fed like a baby. It's hard to grow up.
Why the hurry to grow up? I'm just askin'.
After I wrote this I decided no hurry. :)
I am thrilled and amazed at everthing Ella can do...she'll accomplish the other things too, but on her own time table. We can nudge our children, but pushing always seems to backfire. MJ didn't do the potty thing well into 3, and AJ shows no signs. It will happen someday, you just can't point to a calendar and say NOW! ;)
ktj - I love reading your comments here. I think you and I are the yin and yang of Bombadee's world. Different, yet complimentary.
responding to Tatertot, my children are throwing pillows at each other, and I am trying to watch "Sense and Sensiblity"...irony... my kids are nuts. I like reading your comments as well.
:)
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