I was in the car listening to old punk music today and remembered I really don’t care what people think of me. Wah-blah!
What? What was that… I’m supposed to be a responsible mother and teach my child to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’? How ‘bout I don’t let her wipe a booger on you. Oh, I see, I shouldn’t let my extreme political views be known they’re just not popular… Well crap, I guess I shouldn’t tell you that I think the welfare to work program is oppressive to women and bordering on slavery. Oh, I see I was supposed to send you a card and a cute little tchotchke on your special day… What if I just don’t tell you what a superficial snot you are when you show me your giant child killing engagement diamond from Debeers?
Tune in tomorrow when I’ll be wearing tons of black eye liner and raging against the machine by driving my giant minivan to Walmart to save $1.00 on toilet paper that will be used in my protest against big business.
See if you're a punk mom today
13 comments:
I'm not offended.
HELL YES!
Although, I don't qualify as a punk mom based on the criteria. I like to consider myself a bit of a contradiction. I wear a large rock on my finger, but its fake. I wear lots of eye makeup sometimes (like at the candle party) but also will have on my girdle. I tell my kids that shit isn't a swear word - they can use at their discression, but I also force them to make their beds.
Oh, c'mon. You both have crockpots and you know it. And if you don't, you're crazy, 'cause my crockpot kicks ass. I'll paint a skull on the side of it if it makes it less dorky. I big puffy heart my crockpot.
I had two child-killing diamond discussions and one Wal-Mart argument this weekend. I'm glad to be back amongst the people on my side again.
I don't qualify either. I wear keds and kahki... sometimes togther. Looking at me from the outside some might say I personify 'establishment' but I know that I'm a deviant. I know this because when I am at 'establishment' functions my husband has to keep me from cracking fart jokes at the dinner table.
I wonder where she falls on the punk rock mom test:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/11/15/sexparty.mom.ap/index.html
I think that qualifies as deranged and sad. She so sought the approval and acceptance of others that she's compromised everything and endangered children. Ironic how not-cool it is.
Nobody has addressed my crockpot question yet.
WTF is wrong with crockpots???? I've made many a healthy meal in a crockpot!
~impatiently drums fingernails~
OK - I have 3 crockpots (all varying in size) and a huge friggin roaster. I'm Martha Stewarts wet dream.
Hey Jenny - I was going to ask if you wanted to borrow my roaster since you are doing Thanksgiving with a bird and a ham. It comes in handy when you don't want to take up all the space in your oven.
This is what's wrong with crockpots
http://home.ripway.com/2004-12/224004/template/crockpot.JPG
However, I do own several slow cookers, for heating up wassel and spiked cider and other anti-establishment stuff.
Check out this slow cooker
http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/lifestyle/img/mar05/crockpot0321_big.jpg
Thank you for the offer - we are going to use the kitchen in the basement for the big stuff, a 'slow cooker' for the ham and the oven upstairs is then reserved for stuffing and bread and whatnots.
This comment is so punk, I could just puke.
For some reason, it always escapes me that you have another kitchen. I've only been in it a million times.
"wassel and spiked cider and other anti-establishment stuff"
I sure hope that was sarcasm, because the only time I've ever had spiked cider or wassel was during Christmas caroling parties at my elderly church members homes.
But you go on with your bad ass punk self.
I hate the fact that I know this, since Jane very nicely points out the fact that this is learned at caroling parties and elderly church members homes...but I believe its spelt wassail.
By the way, yes I did serve wassail at my All Hallows Eve party. I thought it went nicely with the incoherent,drunken singing and college binge-drinking games.
Speaking of incoherent drunks, I'm thinking of getting my mother a karaoke machine. Any recommendations?
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