Let me preface this story by saying that by no means do I wish to alienate or hurt the feelings of any of my friends or belittle their hobbies and talents. It’s just that some things I take very seriously and my art and my evenings out are two if them.
I live in a small rural Midwestern town. On any given afternoon you can find a minivan with Cherrios on the floor parked at our local grocery store. Inside is the driver, she is just picking up some snacks for the kids so they will sit quietly and watch Madagascar while she and the ladies do their scrapping. She is also picking up a bottle of $5.99 Chardonnay and some Carl Buddings chipped beef, cream cheese and pickles. She is planning to make those fancy little pickle wraps where you roll up the pickle in the middle (aka hillbilly sushi). Her husband has been shoed out of the house for the night he will be at one of the five bars downtown this evening swilling Budweiser and playing darts till at least 9:30 he knows if he comes home early there will be 7 or 8 women at his kitchen table clucking away and furiously snipping photos. He plans to just stay out. The women will no doubt have the following conversation:
Amy: I thought you invited Jenny this time
Lisa: I did
Melissa: I don’t know why she never comes, I always see her with her camera out taking photos
Amy: Plus she took lots of art classes in school, so I know she likes art. JOSHUA TURN IT DOWN!
Melissa: You know, I always see her at the craft supply store. Can you hand me that stamp, please?
Amy: She showed me one of her oil paintings and I told I bought a mat-board cutter, so I could mat it in any color she wanted and do you know she said no thanks. JOSH I TOLD YOU TO TURN IT DOWN! DO YOU NEED A TIME OUT?
Melissa: What a waste, you have all those colors! Oh that could’ve been cute.
Tammy: I didn’t know she liked art and stuff, how come she never goes to the craft show then? They have such cute things there.
Amy: I know that’s where I got this Easter sweater, see look it has little removable sequined duckies in the knit eggs, cute huh? I just don’t get it I know Jenny goes to the art museum whenever she can. JOSHUA-ZACHARY! MOMMY IS SCRAP BOOKING RIGHT NOW… ONE! TWO! TWO AND A HALFFF! Damn kid pushes my button whenever he can.
Tammy: Maybe she doesn’t think she’d be good a scrap booking. I love your sweater Amy!
Melissa: Yah, way cute sweater!
I know, I'm sooo cultured. Yeah, while this converastion took place I was probably home watching "Survivor" and eating Doritos.