Judo Boy: I drew her and me, see?
Me: Yes, I see you drew her eyelashes
Judo Boy: Yes, she loves me so much they are on fire.
(Later) Me to Dan: I love you so much my eyelashes are on fire.
Dan: No comments from the peanut gallery?
Me: Like what?
Dan: Nice drivin’… Gross …. Something
Me: Oh honey, the way you avoid dead raccoons in the road is so impressive it makes me more attracted to you than ever before
Ella: That’s my giraffe, he talks to me
Me: What does he say?
Ella: Give Ella a cookie
Bad News Hughes Link to post that made me laugh so hard I drooled. (Rated NC-17, but all text so feel free to read in front of the kids as long as they aren't reading over your shoulder)