Loosing the War

My friends KTJ is secretly a fairy, but not one of those that hands out ball gowns and dances the frost onto rose petals when winter starts she’s more like the kind that ties your hair in knots when you sleep and hides your keys in the refrigerator. She’s deviant that lady. The first time I met her, our husbands (long time buds) decided it would be low key for us to all go see a movie together, it was kind of a dry suburban evening until (insert ominous music and tink laughter here) KTJ started a popcorn fight with the teenagers in front of us. That was when I knew for sure I had to be friends with her.

Something about the spark in her left eye makes people totally forgive her when she does these sinister things. I alone could never get away with secretly inserting a giant green olive into every drink at the bar without getting kicked out forever. It was funny when Jack wondered aloud why the bartender put an olive in his beer but when Jeff exclaimed “What a terrible bartender, he even put an olive in my Amaretto Stone Sour!” KTJ’s eye twinkled and I could no longer hold the laughter in.

Sunday she e-mailed me this:
Urban word of the Day
Hasselhoffing: The act of changing a colleague's desktop wallpaper to display the manly physique of David Hasselhoff. "Dear God man! I leave my workstation for a few moments to visit the big boys room and you've Hasselhoffed me!"

This was pure gold! When Dan left for Peoria Monday, you guessed it, Tuesday morning I woke up to Dan yelling “Do I have to put a password on my computer?!”, now that's a good morning indeed. Just for fun I sent a Hoff to KTJ’s Myspace page, she returned the favor with two Hoffs for me, I sent two more, and she retaliated with two more and now I am in a Hasselhoff War with my favorite Imp. Yet I am fighting the battle on two fronts because this morning I woke up and THIS was my wallpaper:
















I had been Pammed in the night.