Why do people routinely expect results from other people that we know are unlikely? What do I mean? I mean the other woman who gets the guy to leave his wife and then 5 years into the relationship is surprised when he cheats on her. I mean the parent who brings their hyper active child to a restaurant with linen table clothes and screams at them to sit still through dinner. I mean expecting your good friend who can talk you into getting way too drunk and taking photos of your own cleavage to talk you out of mooning the crabby old lady across the street. You are just asking for it if you ask an alligator to suddenly start acting like a bunny, and especially if that alligator likes being an alligator. I guess one can believe in miracles but by no means should they expect them on any kind of regular basis. We should perhaps all start to expect what is probable and we will be less stressed about every day life. For instance:
1. That slow little old lady you had to walk behind through the store isn’t going to zip around in her giant car either – don't honk, just relax and find a station to listen to while she finds her way out of the parking lot.
2. If he/she's driving a giant SUV while on the phone/shaving/talking to their passenger expect to be cut off in traffic
3. Two year olds make messes and have tantrums – don’t give them jelly toast on the couch and never show them a fabulous toy they can’t touch – it’s just mean to both of you.
4. The first person you speak with at the help line can’t ever really help you, they rarely have any authority beyond cancelling what ever service you are trying to fix, just ask for their supervisor. (Unless you are calling Tatertot's office - she can always help you)
5. Rotten men/women cannot be miraculously healed by your immense love, inner beauty and or charm and wit – run away.
6. Women/men who like to complain will often seek out situations that provoke them to do so - don’t let them pick the restaurant.
7. Giant discounts stores are filled with people who don’t understand courtesy or grammar much less reasonable discipline for their children – prepare to be stepped I front of, yelled near and un-helped before entering
8. The cashier at the skeezy gas station isn’t the fastest horse in the pack if he/she were they’d work elsewhere.
9. If that very small child is hiding behind his/her mother face buried in her skirt it is because she is scared – don’t feel personally insulted when he/she won’t say “Hi” or give you a kiss.
Thank you Cameo for inspiring this post with "Judgement Day"