Leaning

You can just never know how often you use a butt muscle until you pull a butt muscle. Seriously did you know you use all kinds of muscles in the bootockle area while brushing your teeth? If you relax and don’t use those muscles while brushing your teeth your hind end does a sort of cha-cha-coochie-coo dance that two year olds find insanely funny. I bet you can guess how I know all this. Yeah, I hurt my butt skating. Not falling or anything strenuous, just skating in general. I’d like to think that the rink owner waxed the floor to be extra slippery and when I hit the curve down by the snack bar my wheels slipped a little and that was when I pulled something (and the waxing has been totally confirmed by one of the best skaters on our team - so there) but alas I think I just haven’t been working out those booty muscles while I sit in front of this screen. Last week I just got lucky when the booty muscles had a fun time acting all crazy like we were 15 again but this week when they realized we were going back those muscles screamed at me “What do you mean we’re going to do this twice a week? We didn’t vote for that. We are going on strike.” And then the booty muscles froze up into one big knotty cramp in protest. There’s no reasoning with them even after much stretching and it’s not exactly the easiest thing to ask someone for a serious butt rub so I’m just hoping they will feel a little better on Saturday. In the mean time I'll be doing the cha-cha-coochie-coo dance while brushing my teeth and we won't even talk about how I'm sitting today.