I fear my child has entered a realm of demanding that has me both baffled and waving a white flag. She has a firm grasp of words like “frustrated”, “sad”, “tired” and “hungry” and has been known to use phrases like “It’s very hard to do”, “I’m so hungry”, and “I need help” but has tossed these handy phrases to the side in favor screaming while her father and I look at each other in horror asking each other “What does she want?” “I don’t know she was just playing with her blocks two seconds ago and now she’s on the floor writhing in pain... you tell me?” We lean over her kicking and screaming mass and yell to her “USE YOOUUR WORRRDSS SWEETIE!” We might as well be yelling “DOOO YOOOOU SPEEEAK ENNNGLISH? You know… SPEAK-OH ENGLISH-OH!”
Dan and I reassure each other with the idea that she’s been sick lately and we are all crabby when we are sick but I still fear the worst. Could it be that my perfect dear sweet well adjusted baby girl and bestest play buddy is having a hormone surge and is slipping into the… I’m not even going to say it… I’ll just call it “the not so mellow time in her toddler-hood”? Or perhaps she's decided on a new nationality without telling us. She sits down to the same foods she used to like for dinner only to spit it back out with a hearty “I won’t like this!” and then the unintelligible wailing starts followed by me shouting “What?... What DO you WANT TO EAT? Do you want a piece of CHEESE? GRAPES? … PRIME RIB? ... KUNG POW CHICKEN?.. TOMALIS?... WHAT dooo yooou waaaant!?!” If she would just tell me that she has decided to be Lithuanian I will happily make pierogi, pączki, or blini for her and then I can buy the Lietuvių Kalba to English dictionary and dispense with the yelling.
I really am trying to cut her and me some slack as I think her brain is having a growth spurt. Yesterday I heard her practicing the correct pronunciation of “s – sss – s – s – s – pooon” and I see her carefully lining things up and the announcing “seven raisins, that’s more!” (The basics of math happening there). I just can’t imagine how traumatic it would be to arrive on a new planet and learn everything from how to control your body and move through space to the importance of depositing your poo in the potty within the first three years and not be absolutely off your rocker with stress. However my tolerance for a tiny screaming alien attached to my tit is running low and I have found myself saying to her “Just STOP! NOO MOOOORE CRYING! You know CRYING-OH -- STOP-OH the CRYING-OH!” Apparently my not so mellow toddler doesn’t speak ArrogantAmerican-Oh.
Well, we always wanted her to learn a second language and as soon as we have a good look at her passport we’ll tell you what it is.
11 comments:
Sounds to me like she is right on schedule. SugarLips hit a similar attitude about 3 months ago. At first Jeff and I were perplexed... "he loved oranges last week"...what is going on?
These day's when you tell him no, we get a very defiant reponse of "NO WAY" or "GO AWAY". He often knows he's not supposed to be doing something and looks at us with a "whatcha going to do about it" look on his face. I don't like using parenting phrases too often either, but he is very plainly testing his boundaries.
Sorry - work interrupted me before I could finish my thought (like I'm being paid to be here or something...SHEESH!).
I think what is important during these times is to let them express their "tantrums" but not give in or change your mind when you've already said no.
They are learning and absorbing with every passing moment at this age.
That's the hard part - the not changing your mind. Because sometimes I don't know if I'm even telling her "no" because I don't even know what it is she wants.
Oh, you want to play with scissors? No. (easy).
Oh, you want to roll around on the floor screaming and kicking?
Ok, I'll stand back (easy).
Oh, you want to scream "But I want it PLEEEASE mommy it makes me haaaaappy!" and I don't have any idea what IT is? (arg.)
I know...frustrating isn't it.
I should be happier with the fact that Mr. Lips' speech/vocabulary is so far behind Ella's...although I still deal regularly with the the point and grunt technique of requesting "something in that general direction".
You know that there are parents of teenagers out there who are totally shaking their heads and laughing at this 'cute little' conversation we're having.
I'll be there soon enough...don't remind me.
You will be able to use me as an example of what not do when Abigail is pregnant at 15 and Emily is strung out on drugs and a runaway at 12...
LOL at this post. I'd never thought about it before, but interacting with my 18 month old is kind of like dealing with my half-deaf great uncle whose native language was Swiss-German. "Dooooo you speak English???"" hahahahaha!
Parker's already started the fits. His pediatrician said that babes that excel at gross motor skills and lag slightly in verbal skills tend to be fitty because they can't communicate what they do or don't want.
Fortunately I've been down this road before and learned my most important lessons. I use to let my first son throw fits and just stand firm on my position. I ended up with a broken windshield for not buying a 25 cent gumball. I've had the cops called on me at a grocery store because he was throwing a fit because he wanted candy too close to lunch so I simply took him out of the store on their grassy 5 foot square yard and let him throw his tantrum until he was tantrumed out. The cops got there first.
I refuse to acknowledge, give in to, or even allow tantrums like that. Lets face it, when we grow up into adults we can't go around behaving any ol' way we choose. Whether we like it or not we share this planet with billions of people, and we all have to be conscious and considerate of each other. Screaming at the top of your lungs because some thing's not the way you want it is definitely INconsiderate and DISrespectful. So when Parker throws a fit, he's told a firm "No. We don't behave that way in this family. It's inconsiderate of the people around you" and sat upright and yep, given a time out.
Obviously I'm pretty opinionated and passionate about this. I truly think that people who give in to or even allow their children to behave as such are actually doing a disservice to their child. Their subtlety teaching their children that their needs supersede those of the people around them. Those children will grow up wondering why the world doesn't stop and give them what they want - an A in history, a cell phone at 10, a new car at graduation, a good paying job despite flunking out of college.
By the way, though, grats on those mad math skillz Ella's bustin' out!
The Police! That cracks me up big time.
I knew the "polite two's" wouldn't last. I am sorry. :(
However, this too shall pass, and will be but a distant memory. I can't even remember what M-dog's tantrums were like, other that they wrecked me the same way AJ's do. Be thankful the "tit" is still there. However, my little nursling will kick me while nursing, and that just doesn't fly here at the ranch. Then things get ugly.... :)
You're right, Thank God for the "more-more".
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