Have you ever thought of tweezing those?

So last Thursday I finally went and got new contacts. Upon putting them in my eyes, I discovered two mangy caterpillars had taken up residence on my forehead and were calling themselves my eyebrows. I asked my husband why he let me walk around like that and he replied “I never even noticed” I asked my friend Boom Boom and she said “Some people like ‘em bushy, besides how do you tell someone that?” It’s a good question, how do you tell someone their brows are out of control? I used to hang out with this lady that worked at a salon and sometimes she’d say things like “I’d give anything to get a hold of her brows and give ‘em a good yank.” Then I would immediately ask her if mine were even. She always said they were. Well, as you can imagine she hasn’t seen me in a while and even if she had who knows if she’s been telling other people that she’d like to give my forehead a good yanking.

I’ve been fixated on brows now for a few days and they’re kinda funny. Some people let them poke straight out and say ‘hi’ to you and some people take them off all together and then draw them back on. When we were kids, my cousin’s Grandma used to shave hers off and draw them back on in purple or red depending on her mood and outfit. She was old and sometimes they’d be too high and she’d look surprised all day and sometimes they’d be off slightly and then she’d just look like she was almost winking. They always had an exaggerated arc like a clown and the color never helped deter that image. It made me afraid to over tweeze. So I do like to keep mine a little bushy just so I don’t have to draw them back on but please, someone tell me if I start to resemble the wolf lady of Browsville, my contacts could be getting cruddy.