I was doing a little research on the nine circles of hell for a comment on the last post and was surprised to find that people who are in positions of power and abuse them ie: crooked politicians, leaders of organization who commit fraud, panderers and flatterers, as well as liars thieves and fraudulent advisors reside in the eighth circle of hell just one circle away from where they keep The Devil who is currently chewing on Judas’ head (ew). The violent criminals only reside in the seventh circle, with the suicides and the blasphemers. I say “only” like it’s a little tea party where they all wear red boas and horned head bands while drinking really spicy tea and having polite conversation about Paris Hilton.
What I don’t understand is how I listened to heavy metal, wore enough black eye liner for an entire football team to cover their checks, perfected my 'get screwed sideways scowl' and ate horror movies for eight years of my teenage life but never ingested “Dante’s Devine Comedy”. It’s now on my list right next to “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” under the title ‘heavy things I know I want to read but can’t seem to muster the courage for’ a.k.a. the pile of books I keep just in case I get called for jury duty or have to take a plane ride to New Zealand by myself.
In other news: Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell - CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL–After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday...
..."A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell," inferno spokesperson Antedeus said. "The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound."
Adding to the need for expansion, Antedeus said, was the fact that a majority of the new arrivals possessed souls far more evil than the original nine circles were equipped to handle. "Demographers, advertising executives, tobacco lobbyists, monopoly-law experts retained by major corporations, and creators of office-based sitcoms–these new arrivals represent a wave of spiritual decay and horror the likes of which Hell has never before seen," Antedeus said. ..."