Feb 29, 2008

Running errands in the midwest in the winter

I really do love the Midwest and the changing of the seasons but enough is enough already.

1. Get coat, hat, gloves & scarf on
2. Get tall boots on
3. Start car and let it warm up for 15 minutes
4. Wipe car off
5. Get Ella’s coat, hat, gloves, scarf & boots on
6. Carry her through the giant snow drift between the end of the sidewalk and the curb even though Dan snow blow-ed but the plow still came by after and pushed it all up into a giant mound two feet tall again

7. Almost fall because it’s more like 2 and a half feet tall and you weren’t expecting it and your foot went way down in there and you got snow in the top of your boot
8. Navigate the ice patches on the cement while carrying child and balancing purse and the three books child wants to read in the van on the way in the crook of your arm

9. Get to the van and get Ella in on the wrong side because you can’t reach the right side without standing in the two and a half foot snow pile
10. Get Ella strapped in
11. Sit down but don’t swing legs in because you have snow on your pants up to your knees and it’s gonna melt and make your pants wet if you don’t dust your legs off right now while their still cold
12. Proceed to drive down country roads that no longer have visible yellow lines, because of 2 inches of compacted snow and ice
13. Grip the wheel tight when the snowy walls on either side of the road flatten out and drift into the road next to corn field and gusts of frozen wind catch the big flatness of the van
14. Slow down because the 2 ton van just slipped sideways three feet and you know that you’re coming up on more severe drifts and may not be able to tell where the edge of the road ends and the corn field begins
15. Worry about the 20 year old yahoo in the mustang riding your behind too closely
16. Cringe with adrenaline when the 20 year old yahoo in the mustang decides to pass you
17. Explain to daughter why it’s not good to say “Jesus Christmas Buddy!” even if Mommy just said it
18. Stop and yell out the window “You ok? You have a phone with you?” to the 20 year old yahoo who’s car is now embedded in the snow bank
19. Arrive at destination
20. Open car door to find child has taken off all winter coverings except her coat
21. Bundle her back up and get her out of the van
22. While grabbing up your purse, keys and phone, tell child no less than thirty times to stop rubbing the sleeve of her coat up against the side of the disgusting van that you know you wont be able to wash for another month at least
23. Exasperatedly carry her through whatever slush, snow or ice is between you and the door while she tries to talk you into jumping in the slush puddles you are carefully avoiding
24. Repeat process every time you need to go anywhere for four months


8 comments:

Chrissy said...

Hm. I guess Texas isn't so bad after all. Then again, talk to me in August.

Jenny said...

The National Weather Service says this year, we've more snow than Barrow Alaska and Anchorage Alaska put together!

Barrow AK @ 12.9"
+ Anchorage AK @ 48.4"
= 61.3"

Rockford IL @ 63.4"

It's supposed to snow again today.

Jenny said...

Oh, our average amount is 28.8"

Chrissy said...

whoa! that's so intense that i felt the need to dedicate my latest blog post to you. ;)

Anonymous said...

Average snowfall in Phoenix, Arizona......0.0"

I'm looking at the picture of the ice covered road lined with snow covered trees and a steel grey sky, and even though I lived in Rockford most of my life, I can't place where that picture was taken. I know it isn't Highway 20. Is it the back way out of Tiny Town on Telegraph Road, or is it the road that runs parrallel to the main road through Tiny Town that runs South to Highway 20?

Jenny said...

You've got it! It's by the forest preserve.

Katie said...

I have to say though, seeing snow on the trees like that would make up for it for me! I'm sick of continual rain throughout the winter in the UK!
I think a move to somewhere that actually gets winter could be on the cards!

Paula said...

I compeletly understand, being now in Maine, sometimes you wonder if it is worth it to fight the elements or just eat that last can of soup.