Holy Grail of swimming suits

I went swim suit shopping yesterday. I brought my three year old with. She was great when I got frustrated in the dressing room and threw a tantrum; she patted me on the back and said “just chill Mom”. I just can’t believe there isn’t a suit out there that covers all my bits and doesn’t feel like an exhaustive exercise in picking fabric out of my butt for less than $135.00.

I ended up buying a two piece with boy shorts and plans to alter the top. I need to take it in around the rib cage and then lengthen it by adding some light gauzy fabric to it. Like a ruffle underneath the main structure, turning it from a bikini top that puts my belly on display for public viewing and critic, to an empire wasted, hide it all except the cleavage, mini dress with boy shorts that match. The custom empire wasted tankini that doesn’t cling will be the Holy Grail of swimming suits.

I’ll take pics of how it all turns out just in case Tommy or Ralph would like to stop in and see what women really want to wear to the beach. We just don’t enjoy standing around in the sand in a sausage casing, even when the sausage casing covers all the appropriate bits, it’s just not comfy. I know men have already realized this, confirmed by their lack of Speedo use. Stay tuned to witness my sewing genius or to watch me render a perfectly good swim suit into a strange concoction with threads hanging everywhere.