Aug 24, 2017

Stranger Danger Online

When I got home tonight the kid had left the computer on while logged into her e-mail.  I sat down and before I could log her off I did a cursory scan of the subject lines of the emails looking for red flags, sex, drugs, and general teenage stupidity.  I saw something about a hotel and of course clicked it.

Aunt Lauren was inviting the kid and 15 other people to stay all at the same hotel for the wedding last spring.  And then Harvey invited the kid and a bunch of other relatives to Easter dinner. Next was a bunch about Esther's 90th birthday and who was going to fly in for that? Lastly there was a bunch of e-mails containing corny jokes about electricians from cousin Eric. I rolled the mouse back through a couple of years of correspondence from people I've never heard of.

Let me be clear, we are not related to an Aunt Laren, Harvey, Esther or Eric.

I called the kid downstairs to explain.

"Do you have a second family you've been hiding? Who are these people? Do you have a Grandma Esther I don't know about?"

"No!  I don't know who these people are but they keep sending me emails and photos! I don't even read my e-mail unless I see it's from myself!"

Apparently this is how she moves artwork from one account to the desktop computer but her account has been infiltrated by a very nice family who would like us to know that Shirl's baby is getting baptized and Uncle Carl had a very nice time at the Lake. I clicked though a few more and they're sent from people's work complete with job titles and companies and phone numbers to perfectly normal occupations, so I think it checks out.  It's not some weird roll playing fan fiction world the kid and her hipster pals are playing where peach jello molds, mom jeans and ridiculously boring puns are all of a sudden cool.

I'm not even sure how to feel about this. It occurs to me that the family might think that one cousin who never replies is a "real wet rag". I'm pretty sure that's how they'd say it in hushed tones.

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