You know your tooth hurts bad when...

You tie an ice pack to your head like a cartoon.

You skip bacon because it's too crunchy.

You consider getting the pliers out at 3am and doing a little dentistry on your own.

You search under the sink for a five year old tube of Anbesol teething gel from when your kid was a baby.

You make an appointment with the first dentist to get you in, even though her name is Dr. Malice.