One More Bedroom

We moved a few boxes today to the new apartment and started a checklist of things that need to be fixed (mostly cosmetic stuff.) Ella already scoped out her favorite swing at the playground in direct eye-site from my living room window and I found a nice place on the enclosed patio for my easel. I also walked around the wood floors in my bare feet and despite the AC being set at 78 and the 98 degree heat outside, the floor was nice and cool. Tomorrow the truck and the fellas from Dan's work arrive to do the big move.

I am not allowed to do much. When I stand too long or lift anything more than a gallon of milk, my belly tightens up and I have to lean over. Tomorrow I think I'll mostly be hanging out with the kid and the dog and packing up last minute things like tooth-brushes and the last few dishes, perhaps a little picture hanging (small pictures).

I'm excited, it seems every porch has tricycles and skateboards, the pool was full with kids yelling "watch this cannon ball!", one of the trees in the courtyard had a rope swing on it, my closet is almost as big as Dan's old office and there is clover mixed into the not overly landscaped grass. There will a giant pool party for the kids the weekend after school lets out and I'm looking forward to meeting some of the other parents and neighbors.

Go Read

If you haven't already read The Box Car Kid's Blog - One Family's Reflections on Being Part of the Great Recession, I suggest you go give it a look.

Panic at the Disco

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night to pee and found a giant black spider on the toilet, then just pushed it in with paper and flushed it, only to be paranoid about spiders on the seat every time you go for days and days after, diligently checking the seat each time, until one day you forget but almost give yourself a heart attack when you remember that you didn't check that last time just before you sat and felt something brush lightly up against you and then you almost peed on yourself trying to see what it was only to discover it was your own long dark strand of hair floating to the floor? Me neither, that never happens to me... very often.

33, 30, 18

I'm on week 33, I've gained about 30 pounds and I don't own any clothes that are comfortable any more. I have maternity things in the sizes I need, I just have an aversion to clothes, so I've taken to wearing togas around the house and just not going anywhere. This is also conducive to the 18 hours of sleep I need in a day. Everyone is healthy and good. I'd tell you more, but I really rather go lay down.

One Sick Kid

One sick kid: I want to watch Matilda again.

Me: No, If i'm gonna sit here with you, lets watch something new.

One sick kid: aaaauaauuu

Me: I know... Hairspray

One sick kid: I don't like it.

Me: Why not?

One sick kid: I don't like things that are sprayish.

-We are watching Little Shop of Horrors

Hard Explanations

There are times when one has to explain things to a child that are difficult. Sometimes it's because I haven't pinned down my own beliefs on the subject like when asked about God and Angels and Ghosts. Sometimes it's because I'm trying to determine on the spot how much information is appropriate like explaining when it's ok to kiss a boy and beyond. Sometimes it's just because it's hard to admit the world we live in isn't fair like when I have to explain the Arizona immigration laws to the kid after she's heard bits of a news story on NPR.

Let me tell you, that last one was the hardest of them all so far. I've practiced what to say in the other instances, discussed it with my husband other parents and even bought books to help me explain, but it is hard to explain bigotry to a kid when the question presented over and over is "Why?" or the heart breaking "Didn't they learn about Doctor King in Kindergarten?" I took a minute to think about it from different angles to see if there was a way to explain just the facts. I want her to form a fair opinion, one not too swayed by my personal beliefs and there is no way to explain what is happening in AZ to a six year old that doesn't involve the words "mean," "unfair," and "skin color." She's outraged and I am glad.

I hope next time the question is easier, like why do little kids get cancer, or something like that.

Image from Guanabee

17 Women Rocking the Classic Men's Wear

You've likely already read about high school senior, Ceara Sturgis, who was cut out of her yearbook because she wore a tuxedo (and happened to be gay) in her senior picture. I'm going to spare you the rant. I bet you can form your own. Instead I will give you, in addition to Ceara, sixteen more amazing women dressed in men's suits & tuxedos from this year.

Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie Sex and the City II

Houston Roller Derby's own Bayou City Bosses

and singer Janelle Monae in her video for Tightrope feat Big Boi

Double Check Your Head

I love love love this! http://www.doublecheckyourhead.com/ Go get some.

PS3 Review

A few weeks ago when we went to Comicpalooza, Dan made me sign up at the Gamespot booth to win things. The following Monday I got the call that I had won the grand prize, a Play Station 3. Since I don't really play video games I wanted to sell it, they rest of my family gasped in horror. They've wanted one for some time but we just couldn't justify the expenditure. It came with some games and lots of stuff that said PS3 on it, t-shirts and pens and bags and things. It's a really nice prize. We kept it.

I was surprised at the amount of games available for children. So far we've found 3. Yes, only three; The Lego games, Little Big Planet, and Flower. This morning Dan downloaded Flower for Ella and it's a floaty game, where you fly around the countryside like in a dream and your whirlwind picks up flower pedals as you go. The music is ambient and intensely relaxing and there is no antagonist. I like it, the kid likes it and even Dan said it's really relaxing to play. So the final verdict is PS3 should make more kid's games, they're missing a giant market, I'd drop money like crazy on educational games. And to the makers of Flower - great job, more please.

Happy Earth Day, Nature Ran Into My Bedroom

Last Saturday as I walked out the door, with 40 things balanced in my arms and my keys in my hand, a very small lizard ran through the door, around the corner into my bedroom. Our mattresses just sits on the floor eliminating any room for monsters underneath. The lizard went between the bed and the wall. I made Dan promise to move everything and chase it back out of the house. Later, he said he couldn't find it.

This Smiling Boy

My Breech baby boy at thirty weeks

The Lost Six Hours aka Welcome to the World Kid!

I stopped by the labor and delivery floor of the hospital connected to my OB's office today. A very nice nurse was kind enough to give me a quick tour and answer some questions. The good news was most of my labor options are up to me and my OB, like being able to eat or drink during labor, getting into the jacuzzi, or what monitoring I'd prefer. That was all great news as I vetted my new doctor with great care and I adore her. The not so good news was what happens to baby boy after being born at this hospital. I had the following eye opening conversation with the very nice nurse.

Nurse: We allow* the baby to stay in the room with you for about an hour and then we take him over to the nursery for four to six hours, for his first bath and tests while you recover.

Me: What do they do that takes four to six hours?

Nurse: We do a vitamin K injection and the Hepatitis B vaccine, PKU Screen and eye ointment, all according to your pediatrician's orders of course. Then we give baby a bath and put baby under the heat lamps to warm up and regulate body temperature. You know clean baby up, put a little hat on and blanket before bringing baby back.

Me: Wait, the nurses give the baby his first bath? Why not the parents?

Nurse: Well sometimes you can ask the nurses on staff and they'll let you participate**, otherwise you or a family member can certainly come down and watch through the glass.

Me: So, why does the baby need to have his body temperature regulated?

Nurse: After the bath they are cold and are wet and so we put them in the warmer to get their body temperatures back up. It can sometimes take a few hours.

Me: Why don't they do that in the room with me if there's a warmer in each room or better yet, why don't they just put the baby on me so I can warm him up while nursing?

Nurse: Well, again it depends on who's on that day, you can certainly ask them, but most of the time you really need some time to recover and we need to monitor the baby closely, so it's best to let the nurses do their job***.

Me: Ok, how about giving the baby a bottle? Last time the hospital did it despite my instructions not to. I plan to breast feed.

Nurse: Well, if the baby's blood sugars are low, we do give a bottle of sugar water to get them back up to speed.

Me: But if you let the mother nurse instead of making the baby wait for six hours won't that automatically keep the blood sugars up?

Nurse: Well, you know usually your milk doesn't come in for a few days.****

Me: Ok, thanks, I think those are all the questions I needed answered.

*Yes, she really used the word "allow" and it made me bristle.

** Again with the "letting" and "allowing"! While we leave the treatment of my newborn son and my participation or non-participation of his first moments all up to the random chance of who's on call and what mood she's in. I may get to watch through the glass. Good grief.

***In other words, you are asking hard questions and now I must make you feel silly so you'll shut up.

****I guess this nurse never heard of Colostrum.

So to paraphrase the whole conversation, she told me "Your baby will be born and whisked away for our nurses to wash off all the natural protective moisturizer he's born with, under cool water, perform a shit load of unnecessary tests and vaccines that one should actually wait to do and then plop him alone under a heat lamp like a Chicken McNugget while we don't feed him. After a few hours we'll give him a bottle of sugar water to correct the starvation we just imposed, totally derailing your efforts to breast feed. But he'll be fashion forward in a cute knitted hat, shiny clean and you should be all rested up in six hours!"

I will tour a different hospital next week.

***

I found this amazing resource GivingBirthNaturally.com that helped me learn about the mystery of this lost six hours. These are the things they do not tell you in the hospital birthing class.

Super Paste Please

Why do toothpaste manufacturers make all the different kinds they do? Does anyone actually want toothpaste that whitens but doesn't get rid or tartar, or that tastes extra minty and strengthens enamel to prevents sensitivity but doesn't get the coffee off? Just mix it all up into one batch already and sell me the good toothpaste that does it all. I don't want to have to prioritize my tooth cleansing needs. Please, I have more important things to think about, like which show I will DVR and which show I will watch live on a Thursday night.

Courage Mom

Free Range Kids has become one of my daily reads these days. As I confront my own paranoia about moving from tiny town where everyone knows your name to giant city where nobody does, it's been a struggle to let the kid assert her independence. I'm turning to the blog for support. It's written by the lady who let her 9 year old ride the subway, maybe you saw her when they called her the worst mom in America. She's not, she's the bravest mom in America maybe.

I'm doing my best to let the kid run around and play without and my ever watchful eye three feet from her and a small and simple toy I requested for Christmas has allowed me to do it. Walkie Talkies. This way when she scrapes her knee she can radio me to come get her, or when I get the overwhelming feeling she may be following a clown down into the sewer to get a balloon I can radio her and make sure she isn't.

As she gets older I need to remember the things I did when I was young. Waiting at the bus stop alone. A walk to the local dime store for candy. Unfettered time on my bike on my own block. The freedom to knock on the door of a new neighbor and say "Do you have kids? Can they come out and play" These are not unreasonable things. The fact is most kidnapped children are taken by family members and or someone they know. The most dangerous thing she does every day is riding in the car with me. I just have to look at the numbers.

And I am a super mom, but I'm not Super Mom, I can't prevent every knee scrape, every hurt feeling and every bruise, nor should I. I can't function with a child hanging onto my leg every moment and she can't grow while hanging on. I don't have the energy to play as much as she does, she needs to find her own way, her own playmates and her own life. Yes, at six. Because I am here for checkers, or to get the gum out of her hair and the occasional hipppity hop scotch game, but baby I am too big to climb that tree without a proper ladder.

I Heart Bossy Women

I'm not skating this season. After July, I still have to wait six weeks until I can get back on skates and at a best case scenario that gets me up and going right at the end of the 2010 season. As a plus is gives the few off-ish months to get conditioned and literally back up to speed before the 2011 season. This has not stopped my team from including me in absolutely everything we do.

I'm not sure they know how much of a difference it makes to someone who just moved here and doesn't know a soul, to instantly treat them as family. I wasn't sure how I felt about it myself, until last night during a giant team hug my co-captain said a few words and I had turn my attention from having my arms around these wonderfully sweaty women to the crazy shoelaces in the skates gathered around my feet, to keep from getting all choked up and crying. (I know, not very tough - what do ya want I got hormones!) Let me say this, these women have made the move easier and better than I ever could've imagined.

Itawamba Agricultural High School's Parents Blow it Big Time

Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi has parents of seniors who just blew it big time, teaching their kids it's ok to be a bigot by holding a secret prom.

I realize the tough decisions that need to be made as a parent when organizing a party and inviting kids from school. Do you invite just boys? Just Girls? The whole class? Does a party of 20 kids even fit where you are planning it? Can your pocket book stretch that far? Eventually, even I threw my hands up and said, the kid can invite six friends and they will just have to not mention to the other 14 that they got an invite. Then there was a long hard talk about not gloating and why we couldn't invite everyone and how to handle any possible hurt feelings. We even practiced what to say. This we did in Kindergarten. Kindergarten! And I tried my hardest to make is easy and fair for my daughter as well as the kids in her class. But can you imagine if we'd invited 17 of the 20 leaving three out because of the way they were born? How about if it were a few hundred kids but not the seven who were either mentally challenged or homosexual?

Wow Itawamba parents, just wow! Nothing like teaching your young adults sanctioned public bigotry at one of the most impressionable times in their lives. Way to clear an ethical path to joining the KKK. Go Indians!

***

Update: from Feministing.com "Well, we're not all so bad. My name is Izzy Pellegrine and I'm a founding member of the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition, a group that has been working for two years to promote LGBT student rights in MS. MSSC has been working with Constance for months to help organize her fellow students and educate members of her community. We're hosting our annual Second Chance Prom in her city and opening it up to all young people in the state. (And this is no seven person event!!) Check us out at www.mssafeschools.org"

5 Villainous Things I'd like to To Shout

5. Ha ha! I have you now!

4. Ready the Laser of Silly Walk!

3. Mere mortals!

2. Release the Kraken!*

1. Silence!

* 9:32 Update - After seeing the remake of Clash of the Titans**, I strike #2 and reserve the spot for later date.***

** 9:33 Review of the new Clash of the Titans - if the entire dialogue could be removed from this movie it would be better off.

*** 10:35 Update - I would like to announce #2 Release the Phil McKraken!

These Fairies Do Wear Boots

Yesterday, just after loading the groceries into the trunk, I heard Ella yell out in a slight panic "I lost my tooth!" followed by crying. I gave her a paper napkin from the glove compartment and found her tooth on the floor. As the crying subsided we talked about growing up and the tooth fairy and biology. It felt momentous.

A friend asked me if a kid lived on an island and never heard of the fairy, if they would inherently know that something magical just happened. I said I bet there would be some sort of right of passage and today I looked it up and read about all the things people do with baby teeth. Turns out it is a right of passage in a lot pf places and I read a great deal about the tooth mouse but I got the biggest kick out of reading the first tooth fairies of a sort were vikings.

"Cultural historians say that superstition has always surrounded teeth and these valuable tokens have been used to ward off witches and demons in the past. Vikings were even supposed to give children a "tooth fee" for using children's teeth."

the Wimpiest Cops in the World

This morning when I read that the courts ruled cops were justified in tasering a 7 month pregnant woman for speeding while bringing her son to school, I honestly thought it was an April Fools joke, so I googled it and sorry folks - nope. Apparently the officers (yes, there were THREE) felt threatened. I have to wonder what what kind of wimpy ass cops couldn't handle giving a speeding ticket at 8:30 in the morning, in front of the grade school, without getting out weapons?

Dear Sgt. Steven Daman, Officer Juan Ornelas and Officer Donald Jones of Seattle, I hope you google yourselves and see that I think you are pathetic, wimpy excuses for protectors of the public. I hope your coworkers never let you live this down.

My Babies

Comicpalooza Houston 2010

Yesterday we attended Comicpalooza 2010 in Houston. It's the third year for the convention and it was at brown Convention Center which I was very impressed with. the convention was small, with a 10,000 square foot dealer area, a nice little art show and several side rooms and theatre's filled with games, horror movie production workshops, and comic book how toos. The big celebrity of the day was Bruce Campbell who's Q&A session we attended, he's a very funny guy and according to the pal that went with us, a snappy dresser.

We saw the usual fan-boys in costume, ghost busters, belly dancers, actors that played Wookies (yay!), steam punk enthusiasts and goth chicks with hello kitty backpacks. I did see a few new things. Houston Roller Derby had a booth and the skatey ladies said we made lots of new friends at the convention. I saw one booth called Curious Specimens who sold skeletal fairy specimens in jars. If I still had a library, I'd want one to put it in.

We were also lucky enough to attend a sample of the Intergalactic Nemesis Live Action Graphic Novel Show in which the comic book is projected into the movie screen while the actors do the voices, folio and music right in front of the screen, old timey radio program style. It was super fun to watch the actors do multiple voices as well as the genius of the foley artist and his box of Macaroni and Cheese. The story was interesting with it's 1930s sci-fi flare and I understand they plan to bring the show in full to Houston next year and it's likely we'll attend. I bought a toy for baby boy, the first I've attained. It's a yellow amoeba. Ella and I thought it looked fun for a baby to chew on.

Lastly the convention hired some musicians and set them up in an adjacent ballroom. All afternoon we heard a DJ spinning techno thumping through the wall enticing the kid to go in and sample the dancey goodness. There was a lone rave kid in there dressed in steam punk gear, goggles and all spinning LED bulbs all afternoon too, which just egged on the kid. After ten minutes of watching him she could stand it no longer and had to dance. She jumped up and let loose with limbs flyin' and feet moving. She could've danced all day and I spent a good few hours in there sitting in a chair on the side trying to let her. Later there was a jungle band called Dead P.A. dressed in a Star Wars Cantina style complete with blue and red alien go-go dancers. We were pretty sure that drummer was a robot, after witnessing the speed with with he played. In addition to the alien chicks shaking their 6 boobs, the band continued to move the lone steam punk LED spinner, a few old school break dancers and the kid who lost herself completely in the pounding tunes.

So, you know I couldn't watch the kid rave on like a whirling dervish without video...

I was going to have some cheese spread and crackers

"Why is there a purple smiley face in here... ELLA! Don't color in the cheese dip with your markers."

You're Fired

I was talking to a good friend last night and he was saying how exciting things were now that it is warming up and people are getting out and about. I on the other hand am definitely feeling a slow down. After the big trip back to the state line and all the fun stuff I crammed into one week I am ready to nap for the next three months. Time is slowing to a crawl and I just want to get comfortable and snooze. Perhaps it's because of my lack of ability to get comfortable that I feel like I need to sleep all the time. OR it could be the thyroid pills my doc has me on. The same doc I fired yesterday. That's right, I fired my OB at almost 6 months of gestation and found a new one. It started with lost labs, continued with hours of time in the waiting room, grew with unanswered questions about the prescription he put me on, exacerbated by a lack of experience in having a uterus that has pushed out human or empathy for one who has, aggravated by a brief comparison with a dear friend who is only a week behind me in gestation but getting amazing care from my old doctor in IL and culminated with an ultra sound cancelled by a clueless receptionist. I'm excited about the new physician, I see her on Tuesday.

Home

I just returned from a spring break trip to IL. Ella got to see snow, I got to see the Divas play Glass City and our relatives got to see us.

Congratulations to our dear pals who missed seeing us because they were in the hospital welcoming their new daughter into the world - glad everyone is doing well and I have baby clothes for you at Mom's still.

I have photos to upload and stories to tell right after I get caught up on laundry, thank you notes and artwork.

Sick Day

I got to sleep straight through until 11:00 this morning. It was glorious. Ella is home sick and we lounged. When I got up she had taken a small sharpie and drawn monkeys on her leg. She tried to hide it because she thought I would be mad. I wasn't, they're wonderful monkeys. Instead I made her hash browns which was a giant mess. I got a plate and the grater out and washed two potatoes. The first potato was smaller for Ella and I set to work grating when I was almost finished I shifted my leverage catching the side of the plate and flipping the entire thing into the air sending grated potato onto every surface of the kitchen, my hair and the dog while I stood there in fixed disbelief. Then I couldn't stop giggling. I spent the next 15 minutes picking tiny potato bits from everywhere and starting over with the next potato. The hash browns were very yummy. After seeing the monkeys she drew and eating the hash browns I mentioned to Ella doing some belly art. I'd wanted some after looking at all these henna bellies and she got very excited about it. It's what we did with our afternoon. She did such a magnificent job and it was so relaxing, I'm positive I'll ask her to do it again.

List of Good Things

Sunny days

Instant coffee

Cotton clothing

Text messages

Finding your good lipstick after searching for two days

Baby kicks

.50c paperbacks

O'Douls beer flavored soda

Being four minutes early

A free flowing fancy pen

Warm towels fresh out of the dryer

A new wireless internet router

Funny dances

Aloe Vera plants

Naps

Plastic Sucks

"BPA Linked to Asthma Risk in Kids"

There Are Only Four kind of Pregnant Women

According to clothing manufacturers; Small, Medium, Large and Extra Large. I've tried on no less than 25 pair of blue jeans in the last two weeks ranging in price from second hand shop to pregnant lady boutique and have seen lots of ass sag and plumbers crack. I am doomed to wear my jeans with a rubber band on the button for as long as I possibly can. I did find a nice little pair of stretchy leggings but just can't love them enough to wear them every day with a dress of some type. I may not be barefoot and pregnant, but some days I am pantsless. So dear maternity pants manufacturers, I hope all the pants in your personal closet don't quite fit right either.

22 Weeks

On Pregnancy

I haven't really written about it yet because I was just too nervous about it. In the last few weeks I've been getting kicked from the inside out and that has done a lot to reassure me. Whenever I get worried I drink some orange juice and lay down and they they are, the big kicks. I'm craving breakfast all the time, specifically Jimmy Dean pre-cooked microwavable breakfast sausages which I still fry in a pan to get the outside crunchy and orange juice. No, it really doesn't give me the heart burn it should.

In the last two weeks my body doesn't fit into any of my previous warm clothes. I can get my jeans on but can only zip them half way so they must be worn with a long shirt and any shirt I had is busting at the seams, so I've invested in a few pieces and am hoping for the weather to warm up enough for some sun dresses soon as the ones I own all still fit.

We are going to move to a bigger place. I'm not sure if it's going to be another apartment, a townhouse (which I am hoping for) or a house, but this will take place when I am 8 months along. So, if any of you are looking for an excuse to come to Houston, I will feed you like royalty for a week if you come when I need help packing.

I can't stop sleeping. Thank God for Kindergarten.

I quit taking the prenatal vitamins because they make me barf. I should be past the barfing. I started taking two Flintstone vitamins instead. It has all the same things but is chewable and keeps from from having to open my purse at the stop light to hurl into. I told my nurse last week about the change and she said the Flinstones don't contain the DHA. Screw DHA, it makes me barf. I'll just have to read extra books to my baby to make up for the "up to six IQ points" he won't get from the drugs that make me ill. I also read the food that contains DHA naturally is the same food they told me not to eat and sound totally yummy to me Liver and Fish. Next they'll tell me apple peels are cancerous but take this pill to make sure you get enough fiber.

I'm going to have to switch doctors at the last month because of the move. I want to go to the closest hospital and we are looking at places North of Houston. The school district is good, it's closer to our new friends and the skate rink and the housing is magnificent for the price. We'll still be within an hour from the ocean. It'd be like moving from Cherry Valley to Roscoe. We're excited about the move.

It's going to cost us at least $2,500.00 to have this baby. That's our portion, it's also about how much we'll get back in taxes this year. I asked "what if we don't pay it? Do they not let me have the baby?" and the accountant laughed and said I'd just get the doctor on call at the hospital instead. I'm not sure how this is worse, I'll have only known my doctor for four weeks at that point.

We have no idea what we'll do with Ella when I'm in labor. Mom is going to try and come down, but who knows what the timeline will be. Maybe I'll bring Ella with and she and Dan can step out when it get to the last 20 minutes. I want a midwife or a doula, it costs another couple grand for that. Laboring in America sucks.

Gaga

I missed a decade of music. For the last ten years every time I turned the radio on I just bristled and changed the channel to NPR. When we got Sirus in the car I programmed in the 90s station, a few jazz stations, CNN, MSNBC, NPR and a station called Garage wich plays everything from Elvis to Elvis Costello and all the stuff in between (I think it's supposed to be for fellas who are working on their muscles car in the garage.) On Pandora I have a Beastie Boys station, a Wolfgang station for classical, a Duran Duran station and a Gotan Project station who is perhaps the hippest thing I have on there. Unavoidably last week my kid got a glimpse of Lady Gaga with her ear and demanded she hear more. I made a Pandora station for her.

Unexpectedly, it plays all women. Eurythmics, Blondie, Lady Gaga, Aly & AJ, Kate Perry, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse and I have to admit I don't object. I did nix the Pussy cat Dolls from her station just cause they have some lyrics I'd rather not hear my daughter sing, but really it's a good dancey station. I'm sure listening to my kid's music and booty dancing around the house while vacuuming makes me even less hip than ever. Don't worry, I'll switch it back to the old fogey music when she gets home from school lest I kill it's coolness.

Have you seen this man?

This guy bothers me. I've clicked on the ad two or three times to get a better/bigger picture of him and still can't recall what the ad is for, nor have I seen a bigger picture. It's not natural. Are those his bottom teeth or his top teeth in that weirdly white grin? Is one nostril really bigger than the other? Is it a person or is it a manikin or wax figure of some type?

Yeah, I know the world is falling to pieces out there with unemployment, earthquakes, health insurance, snow storms and Sarah Palin making a run for it but still the weird ad-click dude looms. Really, somebody explain, please.

Exception

Lately I've been trying to respect Ella's privacy in that I don't want to invade her life by telling you stories about when she's ill or posting pictures she'll kill me for later. She's at an age that it seems like it might not be my story to tell anymore. She has her own blog and chooses what she'd like to post on it from her life. However, sometimes someone in your family does something so good, it's impossible to keep to yourself. With that, I now present, eight seconds of bathtub yodeling.

Only Three Branches of the Govt.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Male Inequality
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

The Nap

We just got over a week of sick and more laundry than I could imagine doing. I disinfected every surface from eye height down and so far I am still unscathed, except for the many hours of lost sleep and frustration that a parent experiences during such trials. It seems we are all over the worst and next week will move back into the regular schedule and I will get a nap in the day again.

I need the nap. I love the nap. The nap keeps me sane. I am like a tired toddler without the nap, unable to remember words and instead breaking down into for general winy sounds and kicking of the legs. The weekends just about wipe me out and I strive for the Monday nap. I think I may be the only person I know that likes Mondays.

What Would You Ask?

Dog Day Afternoon

I read somewhere that you dog takes on your characteristics after years. My dog has messy hair, throws her back out often and is picky about what she'll eat. I'd say that's right on. Lately I've noticed when she sleeps she has to get right next to the bottom of the bed and put her belly and the bottoms of her feet up against it so that when I peer over the edge at her from up top it looks like she's a gravity defying dog laying patiently sideways waiting for something to happen. I'm not sure if i'm describing this in a way that you get the picture and I keep trying to take a photo of it but she is a black dog who absorbs light and doesn't show up on camera so this is going to be all you get. Also I don't know why I'm writing about it other than I found it notable and now I'm noting it.

What's hapening here on a Saturday afternoon

Our lease is up in June and I've been looking at town homes, apartments and homes for rent. Mostly I'd like the town home because I like having two floors so the dog can't go upstairs to the bedrooms and the toys can't come down stairs. I think most town homes around here have an area pool and the pool is going to be an integral part of entertaining a six year old while also hanging out with a newborn. Also town homes require no yard work, I'll just have to not kill the plants on the patio. Now I just need to find the place that has three+ bedrooms, good schools, hardwood floors, appliances, is close to both work and derby and costs like $7.00 a month to rent.

***

Yes, I am still committed to roller derby. I'm doing stats for the season and am learning the giant WFTDA forms. 2011 season I plan to try out for the travel team, that gives me from August to January to condition and train. Dear Roller Derby, I can't quit you babe. Love, Bombadee #00

***

Quotes from the kid:

"Unicorns can be very stubborn right?"

"Let me tell you all the emotions I had yesterday, zero mads, one sad when I bruised my knee on the wall and then a hundred happys."

"I'd like a brother just fine, beside you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

A Boy

I am please to announce I am building a brand new person. I've been working on it for some months and was anxious to find out if I'd been putting all the things in the right places and all the parts were in working order. This morning I had a specialist double check my work and it seems I've done a great job of assembling all the pieces, especially since this person has different parts than the first person I built. I hope to unveil my project in late June early July.

You know your tooth hurts bad when...

You tie an ice pack to your head like a cartoon.

You skip bacon because it's too crunchy.

You consider getting the pliers out at 3am and doing a little dentistry on your own.

You search under the sink for a five year old tube of Anbesol teething gel from when your kid was a baby.

You make an appointment with the first dentist to get you in, even though her name is Dr. Malice.

College

I caved in and Ella's birthday party will be at Chuck E. Cheeses. It's a few weeks after her actual birthday because of the holiday break and school and the time it took to get classmates addresses and crap. She didn't mind. The last time I went to the Cheese's was for Dave's 18th birthday with Dan. That was back when I wore long cut off jean shorts, black and white stripped stockings underneath and combat boots. Cute. We also used to eat tacos as often as possible and listen to cassettes of RHCP and Psychefunkapus while rattling around in Dave's old Bronco.

Poverty by Sue

2010 Update

We've completely lost track of time here at casa de Bombadee, lolling about in pajamas and refusing to put on a bra unless we (ok, me) need to make a run to the local taco shack. School starts up again at some point and when I take the time to lift my eyes towards the calendar on the fridge I will then know which day I'll need to sit down and comb the dread locks out of my kid's hair. I think this is a wonderful way to begin a new year.

***

Since we've moved here, Com-ed has refused to believe my husband no longer is the elected official to call when the snow takes the power out in tiny town (that we no longer live in.) I think it's because of all the people in the world who unwork.

Un*work"\, v. t. [1st pref. un- + work.] 1. To undo or destroy, as work previously done 2. To pretend you are doing a job and accept pay for it but spend all possible energy on finding ways to do nothing or a job so half assed it must be redone.

***

Television between Christmas and New Years stinks.

Happy New Year!

Three Links

Offensive weather

All you need

$99.00 Laptop

Two Top ten Lists that Only Equal Eight

On the top ten list of absolute crap that happened this year we'll include my husband getting laid off, moving away from my family and friends, my brother getting stabbed, my insurance being complete assholes about my health, and not being able to sell my house. I realize that's only five but really do I need to add to that? I could, but really it's all I care to revisit, so I think that's enough.

On the top ten list of pretty wonderful things I'm going to put Houston, new creative ventures and new friends. I realize I'm short seven items. While I could try to add more I'm not sure they are the same caliber as the first part of the list and I'll not cheapen it.

I haven't decided if it balances out or not. It may be close.

To the Left

There are things she learns in school that I don't know about until later.

The Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of Texas. Yes, they say it every morning, and I don't have a big problem with it, it just surprised me. I didn't grow up here, I didn't know there was such a thing. The amount of pride people in this state have is astonishing. Maybe it's because I'm from a stateline area where we had both Packer fans and Bear fans under the same roof, or because the closest I've come to learning any songs about Illinois when I was young was playing our copy of The Super Bowl Shuffle 45 over and over until my Mother's ears bled.

Line dancing. They are doing it in gym class. Again, I have no objection and in fact when I was a kid we learned square dancing in gym class. I always wished we could've learned some break dancing moves instead. She's actually getting the best of both worlds in that she's learned the Cha Cha Slide which is sort of a hybrid of line dancing and hip hop (sort of.) Regardless, much cooler than a do-see-do.

"Y'all" not only is it used at school but Dan actually encountered it in a memo at work. We don't hear many accents here in the city, but "Y'all" is everywhere.

The Worst Present Ever

I received a letter from school that says Ella has to get the remainder of her shots before she can return after Christmas break. Her previous pediatrician "dropped the ball" (his words) on the ol' shot schedule and so at the beginning of the school year I was supposed to get her all caught up but wouldn't allow them to pump her full of vaccines all at once. I said we had to spread them out. The doc insisted it would be fine, but I am skeptical of too many vaccines at once as well as not super comfortable trusting the doctor who already jacked it up. So Merry Christmas Kiddo! I'm scheduling needles in your legs today.

On Strictness

I read this question about how strict you are as a parent and if you give in all the time or not and I will confess that I have no consistency when enforcing rules.

Sometimes all the whining and kicking reinforces my resolve to make Bratty McBraterson sit in the designated make shift jail cell complete with invisible bars, until she can speak like a human again and sometimes her feelings get really hurt and the genuine quiet sobbing melts my warden-like heart into puddles of come over here and let me wrap you up in my arms and hug you until we both feel better. Then there's the third and laziest option in which I haven't had enough sleep or am just worn down by the insaness of housing a kindergartner and can only find the energy to wave my hand in her direction and utter a faint "chill out" while pretending I don't know that she is emptying the bathtub one dolphin spit at a time onto the floor.

I think the desired result is a very confusing dance in which it's hard to tell when I'm serious and when I'm not. I'd like to think I'm aiding in the rearing of a little lawyer who will argue her case every time, exploring any loophole or chink in the defense to finagle her plan into fruition, a child who's spirit is strong and who isn't afraid to challenge authority. I don't know about the future but what is happening in the present is this; when I'm really at my limit I have to get the serious mommy voice out and sometimes throw in a swear word. Thus the following conversation:

Ella: Mom, you could open this present I made for you today if you want to.

Me: No, I'll wait until Christmas.

Ella: I'm sure the other moms opened theirs already.

Me: That may be, but I am no "other mom," I am an extra special mom and I can be patient.

Ella: Please?

Me: Nope, I'll wait until Christmas

Ella: Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase! You will love it.

Me: If we open presents before Christmas Santa will be upset that we didn't wait

Ella: Please?

Me: No

Ella: Please?

Me: No!

Ella: PleeEEeeEEeeeEEEAAAaaaase?

Me: Do you wanna piss Santa off?

Ella: ok. (walks away)

I know I'm setting myself up for the worst teenage years in the history of teenagers, but I prefer to live in denial and tell myself that we'll be best pals and tell each other everything all open and honest and lovingly for our whole lives including when she's 16 and wants to go to Mexico for the weekend with her two wild best friends and why can't I just trust her to do that?!

new things

I reset my computer. I've been putting everything on an external hard drive for some time and most of the programs I use exist on the internet. So I have a scant few things to reinstall, and of course the million Microsoft updates. Hopefully things will be faster than ever. I'm very excited about it. It's like looking at an empty sketch book.

Ella gets out of school early today. We'll use the afternoon to go to the library.

Carpet cleaning dudes are supposed to be here this afternoon, they are late.

Boxes came in the mail today and one of them contained CHEESE CURDS! Woohooo! Thank you Mom, it was exactly what I wanted, just my size. And and Mrs. Fischer's Potato Chips - Dan opened the bag and inhaled deeply before eating enough chips to coat the roof of his mouth with grease. yumm.

What I'm watching Today

It's Alway Sunny

Remember when I was talking about giving men's rolls to women? I especially enjoyed this piece today over at BITCH - Sweet Dee Reynolds is a Gender Liberator by Ischmeiser. In comments I read

"In the bonus material in one of the seasons that is currently out on DVD, she talks about auditioning. She talks about not knowing at the time that they were having her read lines that were written for one of the male characters because they hadn't written anything for the female character yet. She convinced them that they needed to write her character like the male characters because that's what was funny about the show." Posted by jordanb

That's what I'm talking about! Why does there need to be special dialogue written for women. Movie makers should cast more women, not because it's written into the script, just because.

The Bubble I Moved to.

Before we moved here I had the idea that Texas was very conservative. I figured the bigger cities were more liberal and so thought Houston would be alright. I didn't really think it was a big deal that Houston elected an openly gay mayor but I've received a few notes congratulating me, so I started thinking about it. First of all, I really didn't have much to do with it, not that I wouldn't have voted for Ms. Parker, she actually was my pick. She's the former city's comptroller and I think that makes her the best qualified to run the city. But I am not a Houstononian. I live quite literally across the street from Houston and couldn't vote in that race. (For those of you in Rockford, I live in the Cherry Valley of Houston. Good schools, smallish place next to the bigger place and lots of sales taxes from the shops and the big mall.)

I do have to admit for the first time in a long time I wasn't enamoured with the local election. It happened in my peripherals. The reasons; both candidates were democrats, I couldn't vote and quite frankly my utter exhaustion with politics after the last 15 years has killed my enthusiasm. So for what little I paid attention, what I can tell you is this - I really didn't think there was much emphasis locally that one of the candidates was gay, or a woman or black for that matter. I didn't get the anti-gay mailer her opponent sent, nor did I get a phone call from any advocate organization reminding me to vote for her. There weren't any yard signs in my neighborhood and I wasn't reading either of their websites. I was a silent and ignorant neighbor, glad to see the person I like move in across the street.

Ella Speak

"You have to get a license to drive a marriage and it takes a lot of practice."

"If you love something let it go, especially if it's a caveman."

"If people don't have food or enough to get presents, why don't they just write a letter to Santa?"

Shelter in Place Mode

I sat down at the computer this morning determined to get some things done today. It's a crisp cool morning so I opened the windows and out there the gardners were leaf blowing the crumbles off my patio. Out of nowhere I heard a "Kaboom" it sounded just like what an atomic bomb sounds like in the movies. I looked out the window as the gardeners shut off the leaf blowers and looked up. I sat still for a minute longer wondering what it was, looking at the sky.

It's fairly routine for fighter jets to fly over and do loops and twirls so I wondered if it was some sort of sonic boom in the distance. It sounded like it came from the bay. I called Dan and told him about it. I turned the news on and went back to e-mails, Yahoo groups and Facebook. I was lost in thought until about 20 minutes ago when the dog needed to go out and I finally turned my attention to the tv. About 6 miles away, the American Acryl plant had an explosion and plumes of black smoke can be seen for miles.

Ten minutes later I received a phone call from Ella's school, they're in a "Shelter in Place" mode. That means the kids don't leave the building, they turn the a/c and heat off. I closed my window and shut the air system down. I stepped outside to see if I could see the smoke. It smells like burning plastic out there, I went back in and here I sit.

Right this minute I hear BIG rumbling. Could be a plane, but it's going on for a lot of minutes. I'm not going outside to look.

KHOU

The Houston Chronicle

Fox Houston

I'm Crabby

Dan was sick. I slept on the futon for two nights trying not to get what they had. I haven't seem the sun in three days and there is an insane amount of laundry to be done. Also dishes - I hate them. That is all.

Texas Snow

When I took Ella to school this morning I made her put a hat and mittens on as the forecast for today was snow, I barely believed it. When we drove it was indeed slushing from the sky and just now the slush changed to big heavy clumpy flakes, that technically are snow. I ran outside in my bare feet to take a picture (that's how un-cold it is.)

Four Awful Words in the Middle of the Night

"Mom I feel barfy" is what she tried to say before she threw up all over the covers. Luckily because we have an overabundance of blankets we got the bed clothes changed and were back to sleep after a quick bath. I was also better prepared to wake up and run to the bathroom with a kid in my arms the next dozen times she uttered the phrase. Finally we are out of bed and having Ramen noodles, but one of us has no noodles, just broth. Now we wait to see if the phrase comes back or if it morphs into the more dreaded "I think I got what she had."

Getting it all done

I'm still here. We're getting ready to bust out on the Christmas soon. This year we'll get a real tree and I'm going to try and send a real Christmas letter since we had so much happen this year (wish me luck on getting that together) and I took Ella to see Santa already. She got nervous and told him she wanted a basket and when he asked her what she wanted in it she told him eggs of different colors. He let out the most genuine ho ho ho he he haw I ever heard from Santa and said he was gonna write that down it was soo good. Then he added that he knew a bunny that may be able to help him with that order. When we left Ella exclaimed "Santa is Amazing!" Yes kiddo, he certainly is.