Camping for the Future

I got a new phone.  I love it.  Dan gave it to me right before I left on the long drive to Illinois for turkey, with two kids, a decrepit old dog and a bum knee in the car. I like to think he gave it to me so that if the car broke down I could tell Siri "I need a tow truck" and she would order one up for me, like a small computerized body guard or an obedient domesticated pocket robot assistant.  The idea of domestic robots is exciting to me.  Ten years ago, I named my first robot; Algernon will never know how to do more than vacuum a room, much less tell me what a Wappy Dog is or where to locate one but he is still monumental to me.

I want to keep my new pocket assistant safe, so I decided to find a case, or as I like to think of it a tiny little toddler proof vest.  I went to Best Buy.  To my surprise, there were people in tents on the side walk.  I got excited about talking to some Occupiers; maybe they would ask me not to patronize the corporate box store, maybe they would tell me about all the things in there not made in America, or about how none of the people working inside have the leverage to negotiate decent health insurance.  As I saw the camper's smiling faces, the realization they were camping in preparation for black Friday descended.  It was the exact opposite of what I was anticipating.

I thought about it the whole time I was shopping.  Protesting campers are maced and removed from public space under the guise of safety, but these voracious consuming campers preparing days in advance to storm the gates and trample people, possibly to death, in hopes of consuming more plastic electronics assembled by impoverished children in other countries, the very same items that will later be obsolete and occupy landfills also in other countries, leaching mercury and poisons out into the dirt, washing into the ocean and riding out on the winds young developing lungs breath... these campers are welcomed. (Ok, maybe I didn't think all of that at the time, maybe I was just trying to keep a one year old from falling out of the cart and the brilliant consumerism commentary was discussed and read later on Facebook) but, while I was shopping there was the echoing question of why these campers, but not those and as a result I couldn't buy anything.  I just didn't want to.

Even When No One is Looking

It bothers me that during these protests everyone is filming things. The idea that we have to film for any story to be believed absolutely floors me. It is another way we are sapping the humanity from the world and handing it over to an impartial machine. This is scary because integrity and judgment is what makes us civilized. When we flatly legislate instead of using our best judgment, we create loopholes that allow a person to feel good beating The System, forgetting that the system is us. Laws represent the hopes we hold for society and a dollar represents a human's time and effort on the planet. Circumventing one to take the other isn't beating a system, it's beating people.

While it is easier and faster to present irrefutable video evidence, it makes me utterly sad we need it, like a giant global nanny cam. It is impossible to legislate everything, there is always a horrible way to exploit while staying within the law and always some place a camera is not. We have to put the value back into personal honor.  It's what every one of those signs at Occupy Wallstreet demand.

"I can't cover all the rules for how to treat your brother. They do include; no hitting, stop poking him when he cries, don't pull him around by his arm, don't put playdoh in his hair, help him get a drink and don't let him break his neck climbing the bookcases. But I can't think of all the things you and he haven't though of yet, so lets just say this; Even when I'm not looking, I expect you to use your best judgment and be nice to your brother." -  Everyone's Mom

Put that Kool Aid Down

She came home excited about selling magazine for the school and was distressed when I told her we wouldn't be selling anything. She pleaded "What about the GIFT CARD! We could get a gift card if we sell enough?!" I stood my ground explaining if the school needs something I am more than happy to provide a donation for the thing they need, but I wasn't sure where the money was going or what the school was raising the funds for and the whole things seemed too convoluted to be useful. She pleaded while kicking her feet that she needed that prize. I asked what it was she wanted to buy with the gift card, was there something she needed or wanted that she didn't have? The answer was no, and so I stood my ground, "We do not sell tchotchkes to make money for the school to buy more tchotchkes for a classroom just dying to win the tchotchkes."

We are a country of consumers surrounded by stuff with the driving need to consume more stuff. When the kid's teacher sends home a note asking for parents to send dry erase markers or books or paper towels, I am all for sending these things, and I would even donate directly to a fund sending the teachers to conferences and classes that will extend their educations, but ask me to sell something so that part of the proceeds can go towards who knows and I'll be giving you a firm "no." It really pisses me off that the school takes away learning time to let a high pressure inspirational speaker try to transform our kids into little peddlers of crap*.

First and foremost any time someone is trying to raise money it helps to say why. I can get behind a campaign for more library books or better food in the cafeteria but I'm afraid sometimes the goal is unknown because just like my child, they're sure they want something they just don't know what it is yet. Consume, consume, consume! Once the school figures out what they need I propose some better fund raising ideas.

Here are some that are far more sincere and I think would be way more fun:

-Let the kids do a victory garden and sell the produce in the fall at a farmers market. Advertise that it's premium, gourmet, student grown produce - charge a premium.

-Art auction/sale. Invite parents and grandparents, put lots of art in. After all, who leaves their child's art un-bought. (I still invite my mom to any art auction my work is in - thanks mom.)

-Just write a letter and ask for money for the several things needed. Give people the opportunity to buy a floor buffer, flower pots, chalk board... Maybe you don't even know that one of the parents owns a floor buffer company and will just donate the thing.

- A giant fancy dress up dinner prepared by the lunch ladies. I'm talking about really just regular cafeteria food, but you ask parents to pay $10.00 to come in dressed up nice and eat it with their kids in the cafeteria. A family date nite, maybe even dancing at the end?

-Suggest a small donation at every evening school program. Some may not donate, but you'd be surprised how many people might drop a $20 in there knowing they wont have to buy a roll of $15.00 Christmas wrapping paper later.

Random Hilarity:
How To Sell Girl Scout Cookies

*Girl scout cookies are the only exception. Those cookies rule!

One Tall Please

I received a French press for Christmas. I use it every day. It makes the best coffee in the history of coffee. Even better than the expensive coffee shop coffees and in fact the few times I went through Starbuck's drive-through and ordered a regular coffee because I've given up dairy, I received burnt coffee like sludge for $4.00, even worse than the stuff in that brown topped pot at the local gas station. When you remove all the chocolate sauce and cream what's left tastes acidic and gross. I guess the Barista Index is on the swing, all the good drink makers have left their crap ass coffee shop jobs for real ones and left the teenagers and the inexperienced olfactory challenged freaks to burn the drinks.

Go Read

If you haven't already read The Box Car Kid's Blog - One Family's Reflections on Being Part of the Great Recession, I suggest you go give it a look.

Good Advice

The best advice we received after getting laid off was call your creditors and tell them. Credit card companies waived payments for a few months and even the bank that has our home loan made alternate arrangements so that we won't have to make a payment until August. I thought it was important to put that out there for you all to know.

To Poo or Not to Poo

So I was reading about this No Poo thing, where people are giving up shampoo. There are several reasons to do it, the first and probably most compelling for me is the news of cancer causing agents in kids shampoos (click for a list.) Here's the thing, I wash Ella's hair at the beginning of the bath and then she is steeped in slightly soapy water with pores wide open, while she plays mermaid until her toes get pruny and the water goes cold. So it's probably not good to soak a kid in cancer causing chemicals. Sure I could go ahead and try to find a shampoo that doesn't contain toxins but a) I'm not a chemist and b) I no longer trust any large company to tell the truth.

So besides all that, there's the plastic which I am trying to give up, and the cost of hair products as well as the argument that un-shampooed hair is sleeker and shinier after 6 weeks, especially if you have coarse kinky hair (which I do.) I've been reading about it and some people use baking soda instead of shampoo and vinegar instead of cream rinse. But there is this 6 week period where your body is re- adjusting it's natural oils and your hair metabolises to the new routine and you just walk around looking greasy and I'm not sure how it works at all if you work out and get all sweaty twice a week like I do. I mean I don't mind living a little hippier but I don't want to smell like a hippy, that is where I draw the line.

So I am hoping to try this out, but I think I'm going to try it when I have a block of six weeks where my hair is long enough to just put in a tight shiny little bun for a month and a half (perhaps this summer.) I also need to keep reminding myself that no shampoo does not mean I don't wash my hair, it just means I will be using a gentler method. I promise if I decide to go for it, I will document in detail every agonizing day and the hopefully shiny results.

Six Actual Ways for Real People in a Cash Crunch to Make a Little Cash that Don't Involve Giving up the Cleaning Lady they Already Don't Have

While reading AOL's headlines today I came across the stupidest article I've read all day about people having a cash crunch and how to get fast cash. Mary Beth Franklin, Senior Editor and Stacy Rapacon, Reporter of Kiplinger.com live in a little golden bubble where they can just sell some stocks or take out a loan on their margins to pay bills. They also suggest we take out a home equity loan (how can they possibly not be reading the financial news and know that this is how we got where we are now?!), get another credit card with those blank checks you get in the mail (no I'm not even kidding) and borrow from our 401K, Roth IRA and our life insurance.

I don't know about you, but most people I know in a cash crunch already lost their house in the home loan crisis and or have been laid off from their job and would laugh in your face if you said to them "Just cash in some of your investments" as that '93 Cavalier is the only thing they've been able to invest in for the past 18 months. I've read enough articles about how we should just stop getting those daily lattes or cut out the pedicure and just get the manicure instead, so many I could barf. Ok, so here it is, real advice from a real person on how to get money to keep the heat/electric/water on and gas in the tank.

1. Give Plasma, it only takes a little bit of time, you're doing a good thing and it can pay alot. In Rockford it's $50.00! You can do it once a week.

2. E-bay outgrown kids clothes. One big lot usually goes well, you could pick up $30.00-$50.00 a lot. You usually get the best price after you wash everything thoroughly, mend any bits, get all the lint/pilling off (use a disposable razor and literally shave the clothing... no I'm not kidding), iron it, match up socks and take pretty pictures with lots of sunlight. Write a stellar and honest description and offer to ship fast. - No kids? That's ok, look around the house and e-bay something! We all have junk we don't need anymore. Or offer to do all the labor of e-baying for someone and you take a %.

4. Recycle! Turn those cans in. $10.00 can get you enough gas to get to an interview!

5. Freecycle! Free stuff exchange. This is recycling at it's best.

6. Offer to clean your Mom's/Aunt's/Grandma's house. Mother's are always suckers for their kids offering to do chores for them. I mean really $30.00 to do the kitchen and the bathroom - heck yeah! You might also offer to clean out the garage/basement/attic and e-bay their junk for them for a % of the selling price.

I didn't address saving money in my list of 6, cause there are gobs of ways and anyone in the position of deciding between paying the heat or the electric right now already knows how to by generic noodles and shop second hand (I hope.) So what else can you think of internet? How can real people make/save cash?