I'll Pick Up My Guitar and Play

Ella: I'm in a play and I'm a fern and I hate it.

Me: Why do you hate it?

Ella: Because I'm the only girl fern... They're all boys... and goofy boys.  Harumph!

Me: Why are the goofy?

Ella: We have to sing rock-n-roll and do air guitar and it's not my style.

I commenced to showing the kid videos of chicks that rock trying to sooth her.

We started with Tina doing Proud Mary, then Joan Jett, and then of course Le Tigre, Bikini Kill and Veruca Salt (ah the classics.)  Still Ella seemed unsure.  We watched my freinds daughter's band (below) and she liked it but nervously mentioned "that air guitar thing" again.



I realized the stupidity of air guitar and decided to find some people doing cool looking air guitar, or something close to it.  So it turns out, the air guitar championship for 2012 had two women in the top three contenders.  We watched the video.  Ella loved the first lady.

 

Spoiler alert!  At a minute forty five the lady smashes her air guitar on the stage.  In the next clip she gets it out again and Ella said "Oh yeah right! Where did she get ANOTHER air guitar?!" and I couldn't stop giggling.  Then she realized what she said and we were both laughing.

She concluded "So it's like miming but to music!" and I said "Exactly! It's mimming!" (she loves mimes.) I'm sure dude-bros all over this nation would just love to hear my eight year old say "I just loove mimes!" in response to their rockin' out to Rush in bars across the land.

When the second air guitar guy comes on, he's pretty good and Ella asks "Why do they keep jumping around on stage?" and I realize the key piece to this whole lesson is that my kid has NEVER seen a lead ax man go nutty on stage.  She has never sat in front of MTV hoping to see Eddie Van Halen or Angus or Slash, she has no idea why anyone is even smashing an air guitar, and there's no context for wanting to  twiddle your fingers near your crotch and to the left of your body while making crazy grunty faces.  She has never experienced the worship of a guitarist.

Yes, we spent the next half an hour watching crazy solos while I explained "No that's not a woman that's a man dressed up like that because he thinks it's tough," and "Yes, the band IS named after him," "His body is shiny and sparkly because he's been sweating all night and jumping all over in velvet school boy short pants," and finally  "You're right, the heavy metal look really never went away, it did just turn into Goth."

While Ella forgot her homework in her desk today, I feel fully satisfied with what she learned at home.

I leave you with this:

I Guess it Wasn't Such a Long Way

I turned the car radio up and exclaimed "I love this band!"  My seven year old replied "Ug, Mom.  Are you kidding me? It sounds like muppets trying to rock n roll."

Tiny Beasties

Oldies

When riding in the car, I like the oldies station aka the Nirvana channel but sometimes I put the local pop station on in an attempt to stay fresh and hip with the kids. Unfortunately I keep hearing Hold It Against Me by Brittany Spears. The lyrics remind me of a thirty year old man with a half exposed hairy chest adorned with gold chains above tight polyester pants. Yes, I believe her lyrics were written by Larry Dallas of Three's Company;

"...If I said I want your body now

Would you hold it against me..."

I can only guess the rest of the album includes other early 80s classics such as "Hey baby, what's your sign?" "Do you come here often?" and "My place or yours?"

17 Women Rocking the Classic Men's Wear

You've likely already read about high school senior, Ceara Sturgis, who was cut out of her yearbook because she wore a tuxedo (and happened to be gay) in her senior picture. I'm going to spare you the rant. I bet you can form your own. Instead I will give you, in addition to Ceara, sixteen more amazing women dressed in men's suits & tuxedos from this year.

Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie Sex and the City II

Houston Roller Derby's own Bayou City Bosses

and singer Janelle Monae in her video for Tightrope feat Big Boi

Double Check Your Head

I love love love this! http://www.doublecheckyourhead.com/ Go get some.

Rock Collection

I sat up last night until 3 am listing to old rock music and wondering where the Led Zeppelin of the 2000s is.  The Van Halen of 2009? The RHCP of today? Why don't we have a super rock group that is so incredible everyone knows who they are?  I know I'm old and crabbity but even my grandma knows who the Stones are, so come on!  Is it because we have too many choices and they are all available all the time? Is it because the great music machine is churning out American Idol and more dance music than ever before? Is it because rock-n-roll is dead and given way to Akon and Fergie? Or have I just been missing something in a big way because I've had me head stuck in Veggie Tale Movies and Laurie Berkner videos for a half a decade? 

Dear ineternets - who is your modern rock supergroup? Got any? Coldplay anyone? Muse? Whatcha got? 

PS If you're trying to overcome some insomnia, you should NOT sit up and listen to Led Zeppelin.  

A Long Way to Go

Bakers Blog writes "I remember seeing an episode of Ally McBeal where her therapist suggests that she give herself a theme song. She was to play that song in her head when she felt down or her self-confidence dipped (I think Ally's was "Tell Him" by The Exciters). Your theme song should be a song that gives you a lift as you walk down the street, a song that makes you feel happy, confident and in control."

My skatey matey DD Hunter posted this about her theme song and asked what mine was and it's a funny thing... It used to be Brick House when I needed a lift or a little strut in my step that's what I would hear in my head but these days I don't hear Brick House anymore. It turns out I rarely need to get the courage together in my head to do daring things, mostly before I do something crazy I need to calm my excitement and collect my thoughts and focus, what song do I hear in my head when I need to get all zen-like?

Ode to Joy, it helps me to revel in the accomplishments of humankind and centers me in a way I can't explain. But that's not all, when I'm skating out onto the derby rink I hear Sabotage, when I'm hanging out with Ella jackin' around I hear Groove is in the Heart, with Dan on date night I hear Them There Eyes, when I am riding in the car with my family almost anything by Orba Squara. So it just totally depends on what I'm doing.

Incidentaly I was gonna throw some pictures behind an Orba Squara track and make a quick video for you all to hear them and I ended up finding pictures spanning all the way from 2002(when I got my first digital camera) to last week and due to the sheer number of these pictures, I realized just how much I really love riding in the car with my family...



So what's your theme song?

Hear This

All Of Me -- from Center of Balance by Jamie Anderson