This lead to my inability to be able to be around anyone even pretending to be a zombie without getting a serious case of the slap-fight panics (Where you swing your arms like mad squeal and then run.) I took the quiz and would only last 2 minutes after the zombie apocalypse. Dan and I stumbled into a live action roll playing zombie game last year during Gen Con (game convention) and it was all I could do not to pick Ella up with my sweaty palms and run while the teenagers lolled about in heavy white and red makeup and torn up clothes. When we lived in IL, if I got home from skate practice late and some drunken guy was walking home from the bar up Main St. weebling and wobbling along the way I would get the heebie-jeebies and panic trying to get into the door before the dark shambly form could get close enough to chomp my brains.
Still I've watched in incredible number of movies and continue to be fascinated. My pal at Zombie Logic Press had the good fun to participate in a zombie film a few weeks back. He was part of the undead hoard and had an absolute blast doing it. Though I was jealous and wished I could have participated too, the fact is I may have shown up, got in full make up and then panicked, hyperventilated and then passed before the camera even turned on. So it's probably good I didn't. Anyway the film is short and it's for a larger project that is brilliant called Nation Undead.
"The objective of the filmmakers is to build and submit stories that fit within the larger Nation Undead back story. Because Nation Undead is truly a collaborative effort, musicians, screen writers and graphic artists are all encouraged to contribute to this deeply woven universe with their own perspective talents."
This is exciting to me on many levels. First of all I want to see the finished product no matter how scary. Secondly, I know some people that are submitting. Thirdly, the story line is really scary - it has to do with the flu and a flu vaccine and how the flu mutates. Germ warfare and mutating viruses are the new radioactivity in horror movies.
It's topical. My niece is just today pondering aloud on Facebook if she should take her son to get the H1N1 vaccine or not. Most of the people that responded said "Don't get it, it's too new, I don't trust the vaccine." I responded to her with an article about how perfectly healthy and robust children and adults are dying from it in Houston and if I could get it (if it even were available to us) I would - especially for the kiddo. It's a horror fest soup happening in real life. We no longer trust our government, the pharmaceutical industry, news media outlets and sometimes even our own judgment. We live in an age where one can find a plethora of studies and truths on both sides of an argument and frankly we are too tired from trying to live to do weeks of scientific reading to reach our own conclusions. Bombarded from every side with conflicting information, we turn to anecdotal evidence form our friends and families and instead amble along and follow the hoard.
This morning I was thinking perhaps my zombie phobia is really about the crowd mentality, the fear of one's own ability to think independently and break away from the frenzy that we can whip each other into while traveling down a dangerous road of misinformation. The way that we can create a monster that craves the horde's attention and approval so much he'd lie about his son being swept away in a balloon or the way the hoard can be convinced that standing idly by while a 15 year old gets gang raped at a school dance, are the real life horrors that stalk us daily. The inability for us to trust the information that is available to us and the value of our own judgment is dangerous. While we find strength in the hoard it's also where we loose ourselves and let our consciousness and autonomy die a little.
Or perhaps I am just afraid of inevitable death.
Photo stolen from Tim Stotz and the upcoming movie "Kept" by Travis Legge who also did "Jimmy's Basement" available November 2009.
