Corn Syrup + DHA + Pro-biotics = Toddler Food?

I got this stuff in the mail today. The first few ingredients include whole milk powder, corn syrup solids, galactooligosaccarides...

Why in the world would you make the second ingredient corn syrup? and why would this product have so much sodium in it? I just don't understand why this is better than actual milk and food.

Ok I just looked at the add and it says;

" milk lacks, like Iron, Vitamin C, and DHA - a building block of the toddler brain."

But I'm pretty sure feeding a baby other things in addition to milk at one year old will do the same job. They pretty much want to put things in their mouths and that's the baby's way of yelling to you "Feed me things with vitamins and minerals in them!" It's called learning to eat.

I'm still not sure exactly what DHA is. When I looked and it seems to be in a bunch of food I've been told not to feed the baby yet; egg yolks, fishes, sea weeds. Also the third ingredient "galactooligosaccarides" is a pro-biotic that helps the baby digest the stuff his gut is not really built to digest yet that delivers the supplements that replace the foods he's not supposed to eat. Does this sound stupid yet?

So in total the idea is, don't feed him the foods he needs to grow his brain, instead feed him this undigestible supplement requiring a pro-biotic that will change the flora in his gut so that he can digest the supplement we say is necessary and by the way it contains a crap load of corn syrup so that it's palatable.

I'll probably throw it in the garbage and opt for actual milk and in a month or so scrambled eggs.

Summer

Dusty

Living on a corner in the city of Houston is dusty business. I try to keep the windows open often to counter the smell of ageing dog and children on summer vacation. The cars drive by in this drought and send a layer of red topsoil and yellow pollen to settle on my sills. The house smells of earth so I consider it an even trade.

Dancing Jack

Late at night, me and my favorite guy, we boogie down. He picks the tunes.

Things she said that I want to remember.

All of everyone on the planet is related somehow, we are all a big family and we should take care of each other.

***

It's time to get up the late birds are singing.

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I won't ever hate you even when I'm 14.

Four Things on a Sunday

Is cursive going to be obsolete? My kid wants to learn it so bad and I spent years perfecting mine and I still like using it. Perhaps in the future I'll be able to write secret notes to other old people in the retirement community in cursive.

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Jack has big eye brows, I only noticed today when we went to the pool and they were wet and stuck half way up his forehead.

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A moment ago I felt something crawling on my shoulder, I grabbed it and it was a spider. I put it outside and then leaned way down over the sidewalk to learn it was a wolf spider.

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This is the Edmonton roller derby eville Orange Crushers logo, I heart it and want it on a shirt.

First Day of Summer

So far nothing on the list crossed off, but the day was epic anyway.

Summer List 2011

Today is the first day of summer vacation and the ladies in the neighborhood keep asking me what summer camps we've signed up for. Perhaps I'm just a glutton for parenting or perhaps I can think of better ways to spend $250.00 in a week, but the answer is none. That's right, no summer camps, no summer tutoring, no summer programs. Instead we are making a list of 50 things we'll do this summer. Maybe you'd like to help...

So far on the list:

1. Visit Grandparents

2. Watch Astro's game

3. Get in the ocean

4. Slide at the water-park

5. Swim in the neighborhood pool

6. Tour a Cave

7. Bear Hunt

8. Play video games in PJs all day

9. Get new glasses

10. Picnic

11. Learn to ride a bike without training wheels

12. Hear music at a folk festival

13. Climb tree

14. Go to the library

15. Hula hoop

16. Jump rope

17. Make a very short movie

18. Learn a new magic trick

19. Children's museum

20. Eat something new

21. See a movie at the theater

22. Build blanket fort

23. Make a painting

24. Play outside with pals

25. Make a greeting card

26. Finish this list

27. Roller skate

28. Sing Happy Birthday to someone on their birthday

29. Teeter totter

30. Wish on a star

31. See fireworks

32. Sleepover

Additions:

33. Read a book

34. Catch lightning bugs

35. Visit a state park

36. Make popsicles

37. Make and eat S'Mores

The Accompanying Video

For this post

Walking Jack

Brilliantly Awkward

Living with a lanky seven year old can be like living with Kramer from Seinfeld. Not only is she skittering into a room and tripping over her growing limbs constantly, she often has these ideas for businesses she'll start when she grows up.

"I'm going to start a business that shops for the groceries for you and then brings them to your house, I'll call it 'Food Getters.'"

Turn It Off

How much energy does it take to run an escalator? They can't be used by people with strollers of wheelchairs, so I think they're limited to to people who can use stairs but just don't want to. Maybe we should burn less fossil fuels and a more fat to get to the second floor?

Papua New Guinea man sees an escalator for the first time.

Tits and a Dead Terrorist!

Facebook won't let people post photos of breastfeeding mothers but yesterday I was inundated with pictures of a dead terrorist. I read comments about drawing and quartering a human, letting people spit on a grave, parading a decapitated head around the country for all to see. If these thoughts are less offensive than milky breasts to the public then we have lost our way.

Thank You, Fresh Meat

I'm skating in the third bout in three weeks tomorrow. This on the tail end of something derby related every night this week. I was starting to suffer overload and then today I went and helped at try outs and there is nothing like seeing derby through a new skater's eyes. It's like watching a kid ride the Ferris wheel the first time, sheer terrified excitement followed by giants smiles and a willingness to go around again. Thank you for making it new again ladies.

Definition

Courage: to let your seven year old romp around in the waves even after they crash over her head and get salt water up her nose.

Definition

Courage: to nurse a tired teething baby

Little Things

-Stickers

-Instant coffee and strudel

-Cool dry breezes

-Tropical bird noises

-Sleepy children with dirty feet

-Old photos

-Threadbare t-shirts

-Polka

Wimpiest Cops in the World Part IV

In which 'Officer Davis' on a middle school playground in Mesquite Texas pepper sprays a baby squirrel in front of the kids.

Police Officer Complaints: ... 972-216-6236

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work

Stolen straight from the I Blame the Patriarchy post Toronto Activists Take Back the Slut in wich she attributes it to an email. Because it's worth the repost and I encourage you to pass it on.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.

8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you when lurking in shadows.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.

10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.

11. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

In other words, the best way to prevent rape is to not rape anybody.

Mexican Pointy Boots, The Movie!