Changes

Blowing my ACL and giving up skating was a shock to the psyche. Unlike when I was just pregnant, I needed to be cautious with my leg and let it heal, I had to relearn how to walk up and down steps and make it to physical therapy three times a week.  It takes up all of my energy chasing a fraggle haired, little danger man around the house while also being mindful of the gentle feelings of a drama loving seven year old.  Hiring a sitter and going to derby practice once a week over November and December to stand in the middle of the track I so desperately wanted to be on, seemed like it would be torturous, both physically and mentally even though I missed it so much.

In January I hope to be cleared for endurance skating and would like to start attending Houston Roller Derby's Recreational League on Tuesday nights. I want to have a little of it back, with less of a commitment, at least until I'm done healing.  Then I'll reassess my situation and think about what is next.  I'd like time to plan and dream and anticipate what's next.  I'd like to be able to have a little control back even though I don't know what will come of it.  I just want it to be on my terms.

I miss skating until my legs are numb, my lungs burning with lactic acid and ego. I miss celebrating and being proud about the little accomplishments, both my team mates and mine.  I miss being soaking wet with sweat and delirious with happy.  I miss having all sorts of interesting people in my life every week and knowing who is ill, in love, has a blister and what people are seeing, eating, reading and listening to, what their goals are. I wasn't ready to give it up so abruptly.

I am used to living along side an army of diverse, tough women. It's hard when life changes without permission. Sometimes it takes a long time to adjust. I'm just now feeling like I live in Texas, despite my third Christmas in the Bayou.  I still feel like I can't buy expensive jeans because I just had a baby, though Jack is looking towards age two and riding a trike. Though I don't see my skatey-mates enough to tell you what color their hair is any more, letting go of these women and the derby community may take a lifetime.

Seven Weeks After ACL Surgery

Doctor Lowe said I have the knees of a teenager.  I'm healing up nicely and should be back to at least endurance skating in January.  I still have some swelling and some bruising and my thighs are different sizes, though I don't think it's terribly obvious.  I'm doing physical therapy twice a week and I'm able to stationary bike and get on the elliptical and some basic squats and stair step things.  I have a little spot that remains numb and the scar isn't terrible, you can click on the pic and zoom in to see.  I'm able to get around pretty well and I no longer have to wear what affectionately became known as the iron maiden on my leg.  I'll get a smaller one just for exercising, late next week.

Fashion Emergency! Help, Advice Kneeded

On a whim I entered a contest I saw advertised on Facebook.  I picked a tiny drawing I liked and submitted it. You can still go vote for it here http://bit.ly/oYozZj  voting continues through 11-13-11 so you can keep going back every day and voting if you like.  This lead to an actual show at the Houston Museum of African American Culture.  I submitted two pieces. Bombay Sapphire Vodka Artisan Series is sponsoring the show and the afterparty in conjuction with the grand opening Gala of HMAAC.  It's a juried show and two artists will be selected to participate at Miami Basel this December.

These are the two pieces I submitted

06.02.11

04.24.11

They are from the Tiny Drawings series and the only way to appreciate exactly how small they are it to see them in person.

I think I'm going to go to the after party.  The question now is; what does one wear to her first show, down-town, in the Museum District, in the fourth largest city in the nation, where people are likely to be wearing sparkly evening gowns, and the party is thrown by a vodka company, and the prize is an entrance into the biggest art show in the country, and she is wearing a leg brace hip to ankle?  I mean really? What the hell do I wear? Do I get all Lady Gaga with it or just opt for a quiet little black dress cut very short?   One thing is for sure, high heels are out.

Socks

This brace covers my whole leg.  I'm waiting for the stitches to come out before I attempt to wear pants under the thing. I'm trying to figure out a way to wear tall warm socks with shorts that doesn't look ridiculous or inappropriate (so far, unsuccessful.)  That or I think I need to go over to the goodwill and get a pair of jeans to cut one of the legs off.  The second option sounds good, but I can't try pants on with the thing on my leg.  I hope it warms up today.

Jack is wearing socks for the first time he can remember.  He thinks they are great, he socked around the wood floors for a bit this morning dragging his little heels all over and he keeps looking down at them and wiggling his toes.  Yep, your toes are still there.

Frankenee

In which I talk about my surgery (not very exciting unless you've googled ACL injury/are about to have the same proceedure.)

The bone patellar bone ACL reconstruction surgery I had after the complete tear in ACL from playing roller derby, performed by Dr. Walter Lowe in Houston, TX, went very well.  I've relied on wonderful friends and neighbors to get through the first week despite my desire to do everything on my own.  So, if you're at this blog post for insight before you have it done,  please get someone to help you for the first week, you will need it.  I had the proceedure on Thursday I went back to the doc today and they gave me a 60° bend in my brace and unwrapped the gauze.  It feels wonderful to be able to bend it some and even better to have all the wrapping off.  It wasn't as scrambled as I expected it to look under there and I'm a week away from getting the stitches out and being able to have a good soak in the tub.  Here's what it looks like 5 days after surgery (today) while the brace is off.  You can click to embiggen.

Thank you Kiki, for going with
 and taking the gross photo.

The pain of the first two days after surgery are something to sleep through.  The physical therapy regime is full and difficult but will get me back up and going fast so I'm eager.  In an earlier post, I misspoke, I do have two screws in there, one will turn into bone eventually and the other is titanium and MRI/metal detector safe.  I'll keep posting the progress and the evolution of the scar that I don't think I'll mind.  I'm viewing it as one would view a tattoo, it's a permanent reminder of a time in my life that I loved (more on that later when I can wrap my head around my gratitude.)

New Knee News

In three weeks the swelling should be gone and my range of motion back and I go back for a recheck with the surgeon and to schedule an ACL recosntruction. They do it out-patient and depending on which procedure I get done I could be back in good form before 2012. Now I just need to read everything I can about the difference between a hamstring autograft and a bone patellar bone autograft. Anyone had either?

The Seventeenth Floor

I went to physical therapy yesterday and it was glorious. I hadn't straightened my knee out in a week. I was convinced it was locked and there was an obstruction. There wasn't. After an hour of exercising and stretching I was able to get it almost straight and am working on a regime of stretches and squeezes to get full range of motion back. Next, I see the orthopedic surgeon. They say ALC surgery is an art. I want the Rembrandt of Joint Surgeries working on mine. I did a little lopsided celebratory dance when I found he was in network. I see him on Tuesday afternoon. His office is downtown on the seventeenth floor. I've never had an appointment on a floor higher than four before. One day I will take the stairs to his office.