The Day After We Attended a Royal Rumble Pay Per View Party.

"Mom, if I was a wrestler I'd be Smacker McSmacker, and I'd just keep smacking people in the face" ...commence Jack pantomiming super fast face smacking.

Infinite Geometric Progression

If you were trying to explain infinity to a six year old boy, you might say that it's the biggest number that goes on forever.  You might say things like you love him infinity much. You could talk about walking around a circle or explaining how small things can be or how far space goes.  Then you might hear him explain it back to you by expounding that if you farted two butts and those butts farted their own butts and those butts farted their own butts and it just kept going you would have infinity butt farts.

Just Before Turning Six

"How do dinosaurs drink milk? Do they use a straw?" "If you had a ballet sandwich in your lunchbox, then you can't eat it. You have to watch it dance."

-Jack age 5 ¹¹⁄₁₂ 

Styling

I gave Jack a bath last night because kindergarten pictures are today. He went to bed with wet hair. This morning he looked like a fresh young shiny haired chicken. So, I re-wet it but just before he went out the door I realized his bangs were hanging in his eye and got the scissors. I did a one snip trim of the bangs before he asked for a winter cap and we headed to the bus. This could go two ways: cute, fresh, shiny, kindergartner or chicken head with crooked bangs and chocolate on his face. yay me.

*2:30 update:
Soooo, I was just informed by my adorable kindergartner, the plain blue t-shirt I dressed him in today was the same color as the blue screen they use behind the kids, and the photo taken today looked like a mysterious floating Jack head. These pics may be even more epic than last year**

**Last year's photo:
Jack is in the front on the far right.

Vocab

"My socks are struggling to stay up." -Jack age 5

Jack Says

"These Toys are Eat Soap Separately"
"I'm drawing skella-bones, they protect your heart"
"when you twist things beginst each other the get mixed up"
"EMERGENCY! Cold bread! Cold bread"

On Self-Sufficiency

I asked the kids to get themselves ready to run a few errands with me today.  A mere three hours later, my eldest had taken a full shower, was coiffed and ready to go.  My youngest was also dressed and ready making sure to wear his plastic fake monster teeth, an inside out long sleeve hoodie he's outgrown with the hood up, matching blue socks under flip flops, and plaid shorts.  Great job kids, thanks for getting yourselves ready. Yes, we went into the store like this, luckily he tired of the teeth.

"This Is My Ninjit-Suit"

I took the kids to see the TMNT movie in the park downtown last Friday.  To the disappointment of the people in the lawn chairs behind us, Jack rolled, kicked, ran and did somersaults for 90 minutes. I'm not even sure he actually saw any of the movie.

Skateboard

Taping Hot-wheels to his toy-box lid.
#JackNeedsaSkateboard

The End of Preschool

He's going to be five.  I went to his preschool graduation today where he won an award for being among the top ten kids who've had the most books read to them over the last month.  Jack likes the same books over and over.

He likes:
I Will Not Ever Never Eat a Tomato
In the Night Kitchen
Ahoy Pirate Pete
We're Going on a Bear Hunt
Go Dog Go
Any Curious George
Any Sponge Bob
Roli Poli Oli
No David

I know most of these by heart, so does he.

It was an emotional graduation as it was a very tough year.  Jack will freely tell you he doesn't like school.  When I drop him off the teacher has to peel him off my hip or my leg and tell him he has to stay and he buries his face in his hands and sobs while I try to get out of the room as fast as possible.  It really puts anything I do while he's at school under a big wet cloud.  When I pick him up, he's happy, playing and smiling and runs up ready to go.  I ask him if school was fun and he says yes.  Sometimes I ask why he doesn't like school and he says he just misses me and being home.  I ask him if he played with any one and he always says "I just played by myself."  I know other kids like him and are happy to see him, as I drop him off and pick him up every day and I see their reactions.  The kids even recognize me now as "Jack's mom" - so he is not ignored or disliked, he just doesn't feel he has any pals at school and he doesn't look forward to it. Repeat this day 180 times.  So to see him today, march up and get a medal and wear his square hat and sit with his class was a joy and a relief.

I was relieved that soon I won't have to watch him bury his face in his hands anymore. I was relieved that they won't have to peel him off my leg anymore.  I was proud we made it - he and me. I have a box of Valentines he makes for me at school.  They each have a heart and say "Mom" & "Jack" on them, sometimes "Ella" is in there too. On particularly hard days, he'd make two for me at school.    This awful school year where we read together and worked on a little homework together and were separated fr a few hours each day and we lived.  We made it. He's taller.  He can write my name and his. He can speak better.  He can do his own seat-belt.  He knows the days of the week. He has life experiences that don't have me in them now.

I hope Kindergarten is better. I keep wondering what the drop off routine will be.  Will I have to walk him all the way to class? Will he like it? Will it be worse? Will he find a friend he likes? I have a good deal of anxiety about it.  I know there's nothing that I can do until next fall when we see how it will go. For now we just count down the last ten days of what I thought was the easiest part of a school career, but for Jack (and me) may have been the hardest.

How to Get Away with Everything

"Mom, you're my girl."

How Jack Yells It

Jack laying on the floor yelling "Emergency! Emergency COLD BREAD! COLD BREAD!"

Jack Says:

Regarding the tag in the back of his shirt: This shirt has skeeto bites in it.

***

When my stomach was growling: Your body is telling you it's hungry.  Get a bread, I don't want to hear your body anymore.

***

Correctamundo Kid

Jack liked Halloween because "You can catch some candy and yum it down."

Morning Alarm

This morning I woke up to PEEP....PEEP..... PEEP! I think the smoke alarm battery is going dead. And I get out of bed slightly and hear it coming from the left of the bed... there's no smoke alarm there, so I sit up wide awake thinking the neighbor's house alarm is going off. I go to the window and tilt my ear and look around furiously, then I hear it coming from the other window... it's really loud now PEEP....PEEP..... PEEP! Standing at the other window it sounds like maybe it could be driving around the neighborhood. I wonder if a small bulldozer is backing up somewhere... I can't really tell where it's coming from... I sit down on the bed and wonder if I should investigate further.  My young child rolls over, it is then I realize... it's his nose whistling while he sleeps.

More Uneaten Foods

Happy 4th Birthday Jack

Jack turns four today.  He's a funny guy.  He never stops moving, not unless he's sleeping, and since he started talking, he does it almost non-stop.  He's curious and caring and adventurous and likes birds and worms and sports and painting and anything with wheels, and tools - especially hammers and nails and the color "lellow." He likes to dance, loves the beach and just discovered you can slide down the carpeted front hall stairs. I'm proud of him every day for wearing me out and making us all so happy.

He Makes Me Laugh

"Mom, let me squish you're belly and see if you're funny." Jack age 3

Orange Juice

A Boy and His Pool Noodle Snake

Jack loves to watch Sanjay and Craig with his green pool noodle wrapped around his middle. That is all.