I chewed 20 pieces of Gum and thought I was going to die. Dad always brings over these bags of gum he gets at the Amish store. They are delicious. I like to chew them until the flavor is gone and then spit it out and get a new one. I can do this because I'm a grown-up. I could add this to the list of fun things grown ups can do, but really eating a ton of candy until your belly hurts, is something a kid does. That's what I did, only this time no adult said to me (including myself) you'll hurt yourself eating all that candy. So I chewed about twenty pieces, one right after another. Then my belly hurt like that time my appendix burst and I couldn't even move. Being crunched over hurt, straightening out hurt, every move sent stabby pains deep into my gut and all I could do was sweat and say "ow ow ow ow ow." I thought I was poisoned. I may have been poisoned - it's not real clear what's in a gumball. My companion suggested I had gas, but I didn't, I wished that were the case. I started to work out how I was going to crawl down the porch stairs and into the car for a ride to the ER where I would totally admit I chewed twenty gum-balls in a row and poisoned myself with Amish gum. I wasn't even worried about being embarrassed - that's how much pain I was in. Then I drank a glass of milk and felt slightly better - so I drank more milk and said markedly less 'ow's and eventually I stopped hurting. I still like to chew a bunch of gum-balls in a row. The same brand even. I just try to limit myself to five.... and definitely no more than seven.
Showing posts with label Grown Ups. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grown Ups. Show all posts
Sep 25, 2014
I chewed 20 pieces of Gum and thought I was going to die
I chewed 20 pieces of Gum and thought I was going to die. Dad always brings over these bags of gum he gets at the Amish store. They are delicious. I like to chew them until the flavor is gone and then spit it out and get a new one. I can do this because I'm a grown-up. I could add this to the list of fun things grown ups can do, but really eating a ton of candy until your belly hurts, is something a kid does. That's what I did, only this time no adult said to me (including myself) you'll hurt yourself eating all that candy. So I chewed about twenty pieces, one right after another. Then my belly hurt like that time my appendix burst and I couldn't even move. Being crunched over hurt, straightening out hurt, every move sent stabby pains deep into my gut and all I could do was sweat and say "ow ow ow ow ow." I thought I was poisoned. I may have been poisoned - it's not real clear what's in a gumball. My companion suggested I had gas, but I didn't, I wished that were the case. I started to work out how I was going to crawl down the porch stairs and into the car for a ride to the ER where I would totally admit I chewed twenty gum-balls in a row and poisoned myself with Amish gum. I wasn't even worried about being embarrassed - that's how much pain I was in. Then I drank a glass of milk and felt slightly better - so I drank more milk and said markedly less 'ow's and eventually I stopped hurting. I still like to chew a bunch of gum-balls in a row. The same brand even. I just try to limit myself to five.... and definitely no more than seven.
Nov 7, 2008
What A Wild Friday Night is Like Now.
So instead of going out and drinking beer until our faces are numb and dancing until our feet hurt and then hitting Denny's before sleeping it off, we're having pals over for board game night. There may be beer and dancing but it more than likely involve Yo Gabba Gabba videos and something much darker and thicker than Bud Light and we won't be downing as many as possible. What are we going to play? Maybe a little Redneck Life and then perhaps some FLUX or a little Settlers of Catan and if we're really feeling crazy we may bust out the poker table and play for Halloween candy.
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