Another Dear So and So Letter in which I Get to be Snide.

Dear Dude glaring at me while I use the only mat in the whole YMCA to stretch on after running two and a half miles on that awful machine I hate,

I will only be visiting while the down-town branch gets newer and better machines and then I won't be stretching my calves and other yoga bits on the mat you had planned on rubbing your balls up against for the next ten minutes.  Please stop glaring at the side of my head and just get your butt down here and your legs spread with your shorty shorts right next to me, there's plenty of room and really I can't stop what I'm doing to move on to the next thing or my legs will cramp up into horrendous knots of gristly, tangled, painful meat.  Also, you should get the disinfectant spray and wash your ball sweat off the mat when you're done so the next unsuspecting push-up doer from the down-town branch who doesn't realise this is your own personal mat available for only your ball rubbing use won't have to go nose down in your crotch funk.

Sincerely,
The Slow Stretcher invading your space who will henceforth disinfect everything at the East branch before using it.

Shopping For a Huge Stone

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mikeink.com

My long time mysace friend launched a blog. http://www.mikeink.com/

Let's just say he's full of all the snarky things people wish they could think of on a split second and then actually had the nerve to say.

This Week's Specials:

Snarky Family

Me: If McCain wins the nomination Ann Coulter said she'd endorse Hillary!

Dan: Don't worry she's got plenty of time to forget she said that. This IS Ann Coulter, she can't even tell the same lie twice on her own show.

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Ella is completely taken with the inner workings of the human body. We've read this book every night before bed for the last two weeks and she won't stop talking about blood and bone marrow. This whole topic freaks Dan out - he can barely look at an x-ray without getting woozy. This kinda cracks me up but my favorite part is at every meal she points out which foods have vitamins to build bodies and which foods will mostly become poop.

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When I heard the news that Microsoft was buying Yahoo I thought to myself "Great, now I'll have twice the reason to crash while I blog."

$80.00 Wedgie

Remember those polyester disco jumpsuits from the seventies that only fit you if you were the exact measurements of the jumpsuit and if you weren’t they rode up your butt every time you reached for something? Well, if that was your favorite JC Penny’s has got something for you this fall!