Jun 29, 2007

Crime & Punishment

Crime & Punishment in the eyes of a three year old

“I’m gonna pull your face!”

“Don’t pull my face that hurts.”

“I’m gonna pull your head off then!”

“Oh my! Then I will be broken… and then what?”

“There will be blood.”

“And then what?”

“It will be a mergency”

“And then what?”

“The police will come talk to me”

“And then what?”

“I will have to stay in my room forever.”

“And then what?”

“I will miss you” – whimper whimper.

“Well, that’s probably why we shouldn’t pull people’s heads off right?”

Frantic nodding followed by big hugs.

Jun 28, 2007

Learning Something New Every Day

I was doing a little research on the nine circles of hell for a comment on the last post and was surprised to find that people who are in positions of power and abuse them ie: crooked politicians, leaders of organization who commit fraud, panderers and flatterers, as well as liars thieves and fraudulent advisors reside in the eighth circle of hell just one circle away from where they keep The Devil who is currently chewing on Judas’ head (ew). The violent criminals only reside in the seventh circle, with the suicides and the blasphemers. I say “only” like it’s a little tea party where they all wear red boas and horned head bands while drinking really spicy tea and having polite conversation about Paris Hilton.

What I don’t understand is how I listened to heavy metal, wore enough black eye liner for an entire football team to cover their checks, perfected my 'get screwed sideways scowl' and ate horror movies for eight years of my teenage life but never ingested “Dante’s Devine Comedy”. It’s now on my list right next to “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” under the title ‘heavy things I
know I want to read but can’t seem to muster the courage for’ a.k.a. the pile of books I keep just in case I get called for jury duty or have to take a plane ride to New Zealand by myself.


In other news: Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell - CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL–After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday...

..."A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell," inferno spokesperson Antedeus said. "The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound."

Adding to the need for expansion, Antedeus said, was the fact that a majority of the new arrivals possessed souls far more evil than the original nine circles were equipped to handle. "Demographers, advertising executives, tobacco lobbyists, monopoly-law experts retained by major corporations, and creators of office-based sitcoms–these new arrivals represent a wave of spiritual decay and horror the likes of which Hell has never before seen," Antedeus said. ..."

Jun 27, 2007

A Fun Shopping Trip

Years ago, when I had my appendix taken out the insurance company didn’t pay the bill and I was sent to collections. The letter the insurance company sent me stated they weren’t paying the anesthesiologist because he wasn’t necessary. When I called the insurance company to ask them what they were thinking they clarified by telling me he and the hospital I chose to almost die at not only charged too much but were out of network. I actually had to explain in writing that I didn’t choose to have my appendix burst while out of town. Apparently, because I didn’t take an ambulance ride they had assumed I was just out shopping for hospitals and decided to pick the most expensive one in the state to almost die at for fun. What a bunch of Sickos.

I bet you have a story too…

Jun 26, 2007

The Perfect Derby Storm

Saturday night, me, Sandra D. Molisher, Boom Boom Martini, Racy Tracy and Sgt. Chesty went to the perfect derby storm. After practice we piled into the Diva Mobile (my minivan) and drove to the Fast Forward Skate Center to bear witness to the first 2007 WFTDA inter league bout. The Texas Roller Girls’ team Hot Rod Honyes vs. Mad Rollin’ Dolls own Dairy Land Dolls for three 20 minute periods of fast and furious bouting complete with a possible broken collar bone (Hope you’re feeling better soon Rebellika #19) an 11 point jam, one kicked helmet, and a shout out to the Stateline Divas during the second break. It was surreal watching legends of roller derby scramble for position just a few feet in front of us. After the Dairy Land Dolls took the win 100 to 90 and we helped clean up chairs, we talked with the Hot Rod Honey’s Captain; Cat Tastrophe who I must say is as magnificent up close as she was on the track and located Phil the Roller Derby Man who gave us all a "Derby is a Sport" pin. (Thanks Madam Furie & Piney Woods Roller Derby)

Next, we high tailed it over to the High Noon Saloon for a superb after bout celebration. Uncle Leon and the Alibis knocked our socks off with a glorious set of songs including “Beer Train” and “Good Time Woman”. We twisted, swung, two stepped, polka-ed and some of us even did a jig. The roller women danced with each other and the men grabbed up who was left and the crowd became a whirling, bouncing, sweaty horde of happy, while Uncle Leon and his Alibis whipped us up an earful of goodness. They finally finished out with “Roller Derby Saved My Soul” while the roller women danced so hard we almost fell over each other. They came back for an encore in front of a still packed house, with a fast paced two step rendition of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”. We weren’t sure what happened after that because we said our goodbyes and made our way back to the van, we had a hot date with a Taco joint and I-90.

Sandra D. Molisher & Phil
(more pics to follow)

Jun 25, 2007

Rated R

What is currently up on my blog is rated

Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: dead (1x)

Then I put in the WHOLE month of June and by quoting my three year old my blog rating changed to:

Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
sh*t (8x)
sh*tty (6x)
dead (1x)


So my nephew is still in Iraq. I talk to him via myspace every couple of weeks and he usually sounds bored out of his mind. I try to write him big long letters that talk about what’s going on here. I need to send him a care package, anyone have any ideas?

Jun 22, 2007

Demand More!

We went to the water park today with some friends and had a blast. Ella is napping hard right now and later she’ll be playing with her best buddy while Dan plays poker and I roller skate, so I guess you could say that’s a pretty good Friday night for everyone at the Bombadee household.

I was looking for something scandalous to blog about today, something I could give a good rant to and so I perused the front page of my e-mail browser Yahoo/Verizon to find stories about dieting, firefighters, the space shuttle and the oh-so important "5 mistakes people make while taking pictures", and of course "Hollywood declares the best picture ever", and how could I ever live without knowing "Prince William turns 25 and inherits more money today". So I switched over to BBC and clicked on the US part of the map and found a better story in what our media is NOT reporting today. Today’s BBC top story about America is this:

"CIA to reveal decades of misdeeds The US Central Intelligence Agency is to declassify hundreds of documents detailing some of the agency's worst illegal abuses from the 1950s to 1970s."

Now, I am too disappointed in my fellow Americans to rant I just feel deflated. Why don’t I blame the press? They report what we ask for.

Jun 21, 2007

The Chapter you Missed

Two nights in a row I’ve slept with a ticking time bomb, a three year old in underwear. It’s been fine actually. She’s almost got this potty thing down pat. Why haven’t I blogged about it? While parenting a three year old is full of challenges I would hate for her to need therapy because her classmates read all about the time her mother had to throw the bathroom rug away. I’d much rather she needed therapy for all the undue stress caused by giving her old toys to charity or petting homeless puppies at the shelter. So while you’ve all missed out on the potty follies, believe me its better that way.


Happy Birthday to my Dearest Husband! I hope you had a nice day yesterday and please enjoy planting the 'tree' your daughter insisted we buy for you as well as the cannolis I went to the next town to get for you. I love you.

Our Army

LAWRENCE - The potential deportation of the wife of a soldier missing in Iraq has put the spotlight on two of the nation's most volatile issues - illegal immigration and the war in Iraq.

WASHINGTON — An armed security guard fired at least 10 shots at another guard during an argument outside a busy entrance to Walter Reed Army Medical Center early Wednesday, police said.

WASHINGTON — The Army is considering whether it will have to extend the combat tours of troops in Iraq if President Bush opts to maintain the recent buildup of forces through spring 2008

Washington, June 19 (RHC).- The former U.S. Army General who led the Pentagon's first investigation into the abuses at Abu Ghraib has revealed that he was forced to retire because his report was too critical of the U.S. military.

Jun 19, 2007

Close Call

So it was just the power supply and the surgery was a minor one. No scar even. Dan is ready to go get an external hard drive for me. No I still haven’t backed up all the pics – I know that’s crazy. One good lighting strike and I’d have to scavenge from all your computers and the blog. So that was a close call but nothing like Chrissy's close call.

So what’s new for Tuesday here at the garden? Nothing. I think I might go do a little grocery shopping. Woo hoo! Exciting stuff round here. Oh and Jo, if my computer dies I inherit Dan’s and he gets the new one. After all what would I do with the latest and greatest fastest gaming processor on the market? I’d blog with it and store my photos and what a waste that would be.

Jun 18, 2007


Eeek, My computer coded this morning. We were doing a massive overhaul of the office so that we could have the air conditioned guest bedroom back and I had to unplug the printer and then it wouldn't turn on anymore. My computer is under the knife right now and the top surgeon in the greater Bombadee area thinks it's just a power supply and luckily he had a doner match. He keeps old dead computers on slabs in the morgue downstairs next to the furnace for just this type of thing. I'm am pacing and praying right now.

Jun 16, 2007

Support Your Local Roller Woman

YAY! Derby Shirts! Woohoo – go buy some! at www.StatelineDivas.com We need to pay our rent at the practice facility! They’re $15.00 (plus shipping) or if you see me on a regular basis I will bring it to you and you can skip the shipping (Mom).

Jun 14, 2007


Ella is into rhyming things and she often walks around singing nonsensical words to herself and when I say singing, I mean yelling them in different random notes as loud as she can. It’s often pretty cute to see her run through the kitchen wailing

“Mamma! Bamma, comma, mom, som, wom, wommy, mommy, blommy, pommy, mommmmmmeeeee!”

Last Tuesday Dan and Ella and I went to see a concert in the park in the city and decided to stop at the local upscale grocery store and get dinner on the way. When I say upscale, I mean they often have wine tasting in isle seven and in the winter the ladies who shop there wear furs through the frozen organic veggies isle. We normally wouldn’t shop there because we don’t like spending seven dollars on butter and the valet gives me a cough of disapproval when he has to get into my Cheeto crumb filled Dodge and park it in between the Lexus’s.

We went in trying to locate $50.00 deli ham sandwiches and of course Ella took off running through the isles and giggling. Dan shot me a look that said ‘it’s your turn to chase her’. I was ready to show off my superior parenting skills by putting into action 'Operation Abandoned Child' in which Ella runs away with glee and I pretend I don’t even see her running and she gets to the end of the isle, gets scared and consequently runs back to my side wailing and begging to hang on to my hand the remainder of the trip. This time Ella had a different plan in mind, I was still getting the look from Dan when Ella started to run faster singing her rhyming game and this time she had taken the word “quit” and morphed it into a lovely little song that went

“Quit, quit, shit! Shit shit SHIT! Shitty shit oh shitty shitty shit!”

Dan looked at me and proclaimed loud enough for the patrons to hear “It’s your kid!” There was no mistaking what she was singing, little old ladies dressed in pink Polo’s and Khakis quietly pondering NY Strips or lamb chops whirled around to see my bright young toddler singing obscenities past the butcher counter. Dan and I were now walking at a pretty brisk pace trying to nab our daughter by the back of the dress when the worst happened, I got the giggles. Upon hearing my laugh Ella was totally encouraged and ran faster and sang louder, soon the whole store was hearing her croon

“Shhhhhit! Shitty shitty shitty shit shit shiiiiiiiiiiiiiitah!”

And I seriously couldn’t stop laughing. I doubled over with great big snorky guffaws and couldn’t give a proper chase. Dan finally caught up with her in the cheese isle and hoisted her up onto his shoulders. When I found my composure and caught up to them I said “Aren’t you glad we aren’t at our neighborhood grocery?” and Dan smiled big and nodded like crazy.

Jun 13, 2007


The verdict is in on my camera, $160.00 to get the junior mint out. Dan found the newer version of the same camera in the paper yesterday without the memory and the extra battery for $170.00. So instead of waiting eight weeks for the repair we spent the extra $10.00 and got the brand new one, plus $30.00 for the camera case. Now, I need to figure out what to do with the old one? I can’t exactly keep it for spare parts but it seems silly to just throw it away. It’ll sit in my desk with the other camera parts and old digitals both working and nonworking. I think this makes me a pack rat.

Jun 11, 2007


Saturday night I almost got in a fight. No, it wasn’t when I saw derby girls from the old league and no, it wasn’t while I was hanging out at the biker party passing out flyers and promoting the new league and it wasn’t at the rock concert or even in the 45 minute long line for beer. It was at the hick bar we stopped at on the way home.

Sandy and I stopped in on the way home to have a little pizza and hear the band. I was drinking cokes (I was driving) and we were talking to a couple of guys Annsanity works with (Brad and Ty, I think.) when this chick starts yelling in a way that spittle is flying from her mouth and her head is swinging from one side to the other. I was a little worried she might have an aneurism of some kind so I tuned my ears towards her to hear her telling Brad “She better stop eyein’ me! I’ll show her a beat down! Who does she think she is?!” I chuckled to myself and shook my head. Stood up and walked over to the pizza and procured a slice of its greasy goodness. The woman yelled louder and started flapping her arms. She almost fell over she was so drunk and worked up. I munched my pizza and waited for more sparks to fly. Brad was getting the brunt of the drunken rant, I felt bad for him. He looked amused and kept shaking his head. Finally she sputtered out of words. Nothing happened and so she stumbled out. Brad came over and apologized to me. I said “for what?” and that was when he informed me his friend was talking about me. Apparently in the 20 minutes Sandy and I spent at this fine country establishment I had been sleeping with Brad. I almost fell off my chair. When we finished our pizza Sandy and I went out to the van, I was looking for my butt whoopin’ but I think my whoopin’ passed out in someone’s front yard while trying to stagger home.

Oh the horrors of a woman going out without her husband. That’ll learn me!

PS Who picks a fight with a roller girl while her team is with her?!

Jun 9, 2007

new digs again

Hello all, hope you like the new cleaned up look around here. If you miss something on my blogroll let me know. I had to transfer things over to the blogger way of doing it 'cause I haven't yet learned how to use blogroll and the new version yet. The list has been significantly shorted and is missing some people I loved to read, but some of those people hadn't updated in months so there you have it. I'm up again at 2:30 am for no apparent reason. How irksome, the rest of my family is snoring and I've got a busy weekend planned and here I sit wide awake. ARG.

Jun 7, 2007

Jun 6, 2007

Yay for Milk

Maggie Gyllenhaal rocks!

Letting go

Mom's new house is almost built. It's on the same land she lives on now and the address will stay the same. Next Tuesday the bulldozers will arrive to take down the old house. We are going to watch them tear it down next Tuesday over glasses of Champagne or expensive coffees depending on how early it is. Mom started this project by doing an inventory of anything in the old house we'd like to keep or transfer over to the new house - woodwork or windows etc. and upon doing the giant walk through she decided there wasn't anything she needed to keep beyond the brand new door they recently bought (it's going on the pole barn). I wish I could just let go of my junk like that. She's moving just her favorite furniture, pots & pans, dishes and clothes and the rest is going to charity. I'm jealous. Would you start over with just your absolute favorites?

Jun 5, 2007

PB&J Networking

What a 3 year old's business card looks like:


Jun 4, 2007

Have you ever thought of tweezing those?

So last Thursday I finally went and got new contacts. Upon putting them in my eyes, I discovered two mangy caterpillars had taken up residence on my forehead and were calling themselves my eyebrows. I asked my husband why he let me walk around like that and he replied “I never even noticed” I asked my friend Boom Boom and she said “Some people like ‘em bushy, besides how do you tell someone that?” It’s a good question, how do you tell someone their brows are out of control? I used to hang out with this lady that worked at a salon and sometimes she’d say things like “I’d give anything to get a hold of her brows and give ‘em a good yank.” Then I would immediately ask her if mine were even. She always said they were. Well, as you can imagine she hasn’t seen me in a while and even if she had who knows if she’s been telling other people that she’d like to give my forehead a good yanking.

I’ve been fixated on brows now for a few days and they’re kinda funny. Some people let them poke straight out and say ‘hi’ to you and some people take them off all together and then draw them back on. When we were kids, my cousin’s Grandma used to shave hers off and draw them back on in purple or red depending on her mood and outfit. She was old and sometimes they’d be too high and she’d look surprised all day and sometimes they’d be off slightly and then she’d just look like she was almost winking. They always had an exaggerated arc like a clown and the color never helped deter that image. It made me afraid to over tweeze. So I do like to keep mine a little bushy just so I don’t have to draw them back on but please, someone tell me if I start to resemble the wolf lady of Browsville, my contacts could be getting cruddy.